My friend said having sex is a lot like your first football game.
You're bloody and bruised, but at least your dad was there.
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Explanation
Explain Bear
Listen up, slowpoke. The joke is that sex can be a rough experience, just like a football game where you get hurt. But the punchline is a dark twist because it hints at incest or some other messed up family dynamic where your dad shouldn't be there in the first place. And judging by your taste in jokes, I bet your dad was at all the wrong places, too, you sicko.