Q: What's black and white and red all over?
A: A nun falling down the stairs.
Injury Jokes
Ahhhhhhh!
A little girl and a little boy are taking a bath together when the little girl looks down and asks, "What's that?"
The little boy says, "That’s my little red race car."
Ten minutes later, the boy looks down and asks, "What's that?"
The little girl says, "That’s my little red race car garage."
So later that night, the little boy asks the little girl if he can put his little red race car in her little red race car garage. She said yes, and then they pull down their pants and the boy tries putting his little red race car in her garage, but it won’t fit.
Downstairs, the mother hears an ear-piercing scream and runs up the stairs, flips on the lights and sees blood on the floor. The mother asks, "What happened?"
The little girl says, "We tried putting his car in my garage and it wouldn’t fit, so I cut the back wheels off."
I got fired from a pickle factory for getting my finger caught in a slicer. They only gave *her* the day off with pay... unfair!
When I try to eat, but I hurt my feet. When I using a hoe, but I hurt my toe. When I going to a doctor, but then I get trolled. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!
When I using a copper, but I enveloped by a hopper. When I trying to draw someone, but it ended up with a punishment. When I spit on a bunny, it jumps right on me. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!
When I growing older, someone called me a slacker. When I was 33, I bumped into a tree. When I getting angry, people calls me crazy lady. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!
Why did Sally get a black eye? Because she decided to play football.
If you ever get mad at a person that crumpled their leg, don't forget that they can hide, but they can't run.
My pee pee fell off.
My wife was run over.
What’s the difference between a bleeding child and a bleeding chimpanzee?
They're both crazy and now dead.
Why did the little boy cross the road multiple times?
He stepped on an IED after being mutilated on a chopping block that was on fire with a table saw and multiple gallows which were infested with flaming termites with splotches of blood all over him from his eyes after they were squashed with a brick.
My sister was at Sixth Street and someone stepped on her toes and she bled, so she called the police! XD
It looks like your face was lit on fire and someone tried to extinguish it with a hammer!
Friend: *hits head* Others: How many fingers am I holding up? Me to friend: How suicidal am I on a scale from one to ten? Friend: Ten Me: He's fine guys.
"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Because she had no arms."
"Why couldn’t she get up off the ground?" "Because she had no friends."
"Knock knock." "Who’s there?" "Not Susie, she’s still on the ground."
"Where did Susie go when the bomb went off?" "Everywhere."
"Why couldn’t Susie scratch her leg?" "Because it was in a different body bag."
"Why did Susie drop her ice cream?" "She was hit by a bus."
"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Someone threw a refrigerator at her."
What's worse than ten babies stapled to a tree?
A baby stapled to ten trees.
If a person in a wheelchair runs you over, can you call it a "hit and can't run?"
What has 4 legs and 1 arm?
A pitbull dog coming back from the kids playground.
What do an acting role and playing sports have in common?
If you break a leg, you get cast.
What happened when a cow jumps over a barbed wire fence? Complete and utter destruction.
