Injury jokes
What time is it when you get hit by a car? Time to die.
What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing you haven't told her twice already.
I went to the doctor's yesterday. I said, "When I touch my back, it hurts. When I touch my knee, it hurts. When I touch anything, it hurts!" 😣 What’s wrong with me?
Doctor: You’ve broken your finger.
What kind of ankle are you? A broken ankle.
What did one snow ❄️ man say to itself? My arm is broken.
An unfortunate accident happened at the Nestlè factory. A man named Joe was seriously injured because a box of chocolates fell on him. Every time he said, "The chocolates are on me!" everyone cheered.
"And then I said, \"Knife to meet you.\""
"You stabbed my brother!"
"It's okay, I'm in stable condition!"
What's both red, white and sometimes purple?
My arms...
So I was watching TV, right? Then I f***ing got banged in the eye with either a remote or metal tongs. "WTF?"
Getting hurt is a bone-breaking experience. It's such a spine-tingling event!
what's black and red and is a liquid?
my scars!
What's the point of hiding the screaming speed bump you ran over? You might as well hit it again to A: Stop the screaming. B: Make it look like an actual speed bump. And C... You think it's hilarious the noise it makes when you ran over its stomach.
Person 1: Why did you put the baby feet first into the blender? Person 2: To see his facial expression. Why else?
Person: I broke my arm in three places.
Doctor: Well, don't go to those three places then.
What happened when the American broke his arm?
He went broke.
Who's climbing the tree?..... Not Sarah.
Who is in hospital?.... Sarah.
Q: What's black and white and red all over?
A: A nun falling down the stairs.
Ahhhhhhh!
A little girl and a little boy are taking a bath together when the little girl looks down and asks, "What's that?"
The little boy says, "That’s my little red race car."
Ten minutes later, the boy looks down and asks, "What's that?"
The little girl says, "That’s my little red race car garage."
So later that night, the little boy asks the little girl if he can put his little red race car in her little red race car garage. She said yes, and then they pull down their pants and the boy tries putting his little red race car in her garage, but it won’t fit.
Downstairs, the mother hears an ear-piercing scream and runs up the stairs, flips on the lights and sees blood on the floor. The mother asks, "What happened?"
The little girl says, "We tried putting his car in my garage and it wouldn’t fit, so I cut the back wheels off."
I got fired from a pickle factory for getting my finger caught in a slicer. They only gave *her* the day off with pay... unfair!