Humor
Wade, you're a joke. The worst joke.
Hoped this would be a safer, more fun place to talk to my BP friends, but I guess not.
I've also learned that some people think "worst jokes ever" = "terrible unfunny jokes that make light of people who died horribly or otherwise suffered" instead of things like "why did the chicken cross the road?"-type jokes.
Maybe I'm just too old at this point.
How do Chinese people name their children?
They drop a tin can down a flight of stairs and call them the sound that's made.
Mom, Mom, I'm holding my little brother's hand.
Little Johnny, good! But he's not "bien" yet.
Why was three afraid of two? Because he killed everyone!
Why did the koala fall out of the tree?
Because it died.
this is me
Two kids are out in the cold, with downpours of snow erupting from the clouds.
One of the kids says something: "Can we build a snowman that is going through puberty?"
The other kid says something else: "Yes. It sounds cool."
After a while, the snowman was finished, and some words jut out of the first kid's mouth: "Wow! Look at that snowman! It's got hair all over, but I think it's missing something though."
The other kid jumps a little and begins speaking: "Oh, I know what it is!"
After a while, a body part made of a carrot and two cucumbers appears on the snowman's crotch. It is a penis and a ballsack.
The first kid speaks: "Icy what you did there."
The other kid replies: "Good thing I didn't slip up there."
The first kid replies: "Well, that's snow problem."
The other kid then uttered this: "These puns would make the most frigid individual crack up."
The first kid then says: "I know, right?"
They then begin a snowball fight.
The other kid then says: "Only the men have snowballs!"
What did buttholes say after taking a dump?
Buttholes say what a good diarrhea dump.
Two people walk down the road. One says to the other, "Mitch, we passed Weight Watchers 2 minutes ago." He responds, "Jake, the noodle shop is just here. You've been carrying that sh*t on your head for 14 years!"
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Joe Mama!
Jesus has a twisted humor.
kittens cute cuddly and loveable oh yeah, I almost forgot, add razors that stick out [of] their feet.
The vampire was kept awake all night because of his wife's coughin' (coffin...coughin'...get it?)
What time does the man go to the bank?
8 AM.
What’s the difference between Jesus and a plank of wood?
A plank of wood can take nails to the extremities without screaming.
Only really smart people will get this without it being explained.
Toilet paper fight hat.
The person to make the first cannabinol cookbook had a wife and ate (eight) children.
What did the American say to the Russian?
"Why are you always Russian?"
I guess this is pretty plane.
I am sorry I am just winging it.
Wow, I guess these jokes haven't taken off.
Wow, I just landed that one!
My wife was going to have an abortion and I have cancer.
Ha Ha Ha
I thought it was funny.
Friend: If you don't like my bad jokes, I will tell some stand up comedy.
Me: But you are not standing:)
Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms.
What did Sarah get for Christmas? I dunno, she hasn't opened it yet.
Knock knock...
Who's there?
Not Sarah.