Humor
What does a priest and a clown have in common?
They both make children cry.
What do you call a spaceman’s willy?
A Shuttlecock!
An astronomer walked up to me and I was like, "Give me some space..."
Are you getting the funnies?
What do you get when you cross a stick and a dog? A run away joke...
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He had a computer virus!
Why don't you ever see hippos hiding in trees? Because they are really good at it.
There once was a man from Peru who dreamed he was eating his shoe.
He woke up at night, with a terrible fright, to find out his dream had come true.
Why can't an orphan be gay?
Because they don't have anyone to call "daddy". (My bad if this offended anyone.)
Why the actual fuck is there drama on this website? Anyone can fake to be someone they're not, and no one will know the goddamn difference. I’m just trying to look at/make jokes, and I’m getting shit from people saying, "It’s too offensive" or something like that. Goddamn just take that shit somewhere else.
I'm just like my LEDs, I'm meant to be hung.
What do you call a cripple convention? A salad.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
He was just feeling like he needed a break, you know? Life is hard when you're a rooster looking after your hen and chicks. He just wanted a sense of normality, walking out of the farm. He felt light-headed, staring into the distance. Then, at this very moment, he realised it was his darkest hour.
Join us for more of the story, after the break!
Just because she weighed as much as two women... Doesn't mean you had a threesome.
I’d tell you a Chinese joke, but it’s wong.
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have pockets. I’m
If you want a joke, look at yourself in the mirror!
What did the shoe say to the other shoe?
Nothing, it was tied up in another conversation.
What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user?
Fast food.
Your kid is so annoying, he makes his Happy Meal cry.
Your hairline is so far back it was friends with the dinosaurs!