Respect jokes

They say masturbation is better with a dead arm. Apparently, I ruined that funeral.

I respect cancer more than I respect depression.

At least cancer has the balls to kill you himself.

What's the difference between Hitler and Logan Paul? At least Hitler had respect for the Japanese!

What’s the key to a successful relationship?

Consent.

Whenever my grandparents apologize, I say "forgive and forget". They are really obedient.

I don’t like to make jokes around dwarfs.

Simply because they look up to me.

This one kid never stands up for the pledge of allegiance, and I'm tired of it.

Today, I push him out of his wheelchair.

I just wanted to say to never let go of family; they are everything. Never let anyone walk all over you. And if you are with me, like this quote.

Stephen Hawking once stood up to bow down to Chuck Norris.

What do Joe Biden and Russia have in common?

Neither of them respect boundaries.

Why don’t midgets fight? They walk away to be the bigger man.

I have a lot of respect for trans women.

That surgery takes balls!

Why do sharks never attack lawyers? -- Professional courtesy.

Treat me like a joke, and I will leave you like it's funny.

Why shouldn’t you pick on a midget with learning difficulties?

... Because it’s not big and it’s not clever.

I sometimes want rampage, but what good would that do?

I look for a way out, but there's not even a light shining through.

The times where all is dark, are the times that I need a mark.

Though people say that nobody will care, the truth is: there's always one who's fair.

That person may not be the one you expect, but I am here with a passion to redirect.

Once there was a time where I tried to end it all, because I only looked on the dark side.

Truth was I wanted to be heard, to be respected, to let someone know.

But that was in the past and this isn't about my dark ride, it's time for others to know that only a few words, can extinguish a glow.

I would make a joke about your mom, but cows are sacred in my country.

"Amen, "Amen," "Amen."

Hail Satan.

............

Oh, sorry. I forgot which religion I was pretending to respect.

I respect anyone who devotes their life to charity work.

But I think Paul Walker went a step too far.

I respect woman’s choices... either she wants to cook first, then clean, or she wants to clean first, then cook.