Respect Jokes

in Depression

I respect cancer more than I respect depression. At least cancer has the balls to kill you himself.

Anonymous

What’s the difference between hitler and logan paul? At least hitler had respect for the japanese!

0
THEPOGGYBOY

What’s the difference between Hitler and Logan Paul. At least Hitler had respect for the Japanese.

Vicky manson
in Religion

"Amen “Amen” “Amen”

Hail satan.

Oh sorry I forgot which religion I was pretending to respect.

SANSationalPuns06
in Depression

I sometimes want rampage, but what good would that do? I look for a way out, but there’s not even a light shining through. The times where all is dark, are the times that I need a mark. Though people say that nobody will care, the truth is: there’s always one who’s fair. That person may not be the one you expect, but I am here with a passion to redirect. Once there was a time where I tried to end it all, because I only looked on the dark side. Truth was I wanted to be heard, to be respected, to let someone know. But that was in the past and this isn’t about my dark ride, it’s time for others to know that only a few words, can extinguish a glow.

S4DF4C3
in Sexist

I respect woman’s choices….either she wants to cook first, then clean or is she wants to clean first the cook

Anonymous
in Pen

Three unlucky jungle explorers were captured by a band of cannibals. Whilst being tied to three respective stakes, the chieftain announces that the hapless adventurers were about to die. “After you’re dead, you’ll be skinned. The skin will be used to increase our canoe armada, and the rest of you will be food for us and our families.” This announcement was met with gasps of despair from the bound trio. “There is one small favor I can offer you,” the chief went on. “We’ll let you choose your own method of death from what we have captured from other explorers”. Some of the tribal members begin walking by displaying various implements of war and death. The first explorer chose a crusty looking musket. Thankfully the powder load still fired, and he was dispatched without much fuss. The second chose a knife and quickly drew it across his throat. Both carcasses were hauled off by various tribesmen. The third explorer stood there resolute and deep in thought. After a few moments the chieftain, “There is no escape, you need to decide now, or I’ll decide for yo…” “Do you have a fountain pen in any of that junk?” the explorer interrupted? Baffled the chieftain sent two of his men to rummage. They came back bearing the pen and a bottle of ink. When the explorer noticed the ink was Noodler’s Baystate Blue, his grin spread from ear to ear. Gathered round the explorer, spears in hand, the cannibals looked on as he was released and set to work filling the pen with ink. Confused, the chief began to speak, “I’m afraid we have no paper and even if you wrote a final letter, we’d have no way of sending it anywh…” Cackling with triumphant glee, the explorer raised the pen into the air and began ramming it into his torso nib first again and again. He then fell upon the ground gasping a death rattle. Horrified, the chief drew close as the man beckoned him for one final word. “But why this painful death? When you had so many other more merciful options?” the chief asked. Laughing, the man gasped his last statement into the chief’s ear, “You’ll make no boats from me now, and your mouths will be blue for months!”

Anonymous
in Paul Walker

I respect anyone who devotes there life to charity work

But I think Paul walker went a step to far

I have double standards, burn a body at a crematorium and you’re being a respectful friend; do it at home and you’re destroying evidence.

Anonymous
in Darkness

I hate double standards. Burn a body at a crematorium, you’re “being a respectful friend.” Do it at home and you’re “destroying evidence.”

Anus McDickNuggets
in Minor

I just gotta come out and say it. I like miners, and I don’t care what y’all think. I mean the fact that they risking their lives just to make ours a little easier is amazing. I’ve always wanted to marry one to be honest. Y’all need to give more respect to the mining⛏ community.

Anonymous

Why does everyone respect midgets and dwarves?

They never look down on anyone.

Addison Banks age (8)
in Stop

I hope I’m not a big pain, but Jordan C, please stop bothering me about my age! I know I am 8 years old, but enough. Then you make jokes about how smart I am and intimidate me because of my name. I don’t remember intimidating you for anything. So please, with all due respect, stop.

PS It’s not for drama, it’s because you’re bullying me for nothing. I come here just to joke or be nice to people, not for the drama. So please again. Stop. That is all I ask.

Thank you.

Addison.

Anonymous
in Bar

A drunk walks into a bar and sees a beautiful woman at the other end of the bar and says “Bartender, I want to buy that douche bag a drink”. The bartender says “You can’t talk like that! This is a respectable establishment, I’m going to throw you out!”. The drunk says “Okay, I’m sorry. I’d like to buy the lady a drink”. The bartender goes to where the woman is sitting and says “The, ah, gentleman at the end of the bar would like to buy you a drink, what will it be?”. She says “Vinegar and water”

a vegetable

he might have been a fortnite player respect him

8
in Letter Of The Alphabet

Why is T well respected, but more in it’s lowercase form?

It crossed the line with Jesus.

the meme lord
in Cat

press f to pay respects to grumpy cat FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

Anonymous
in Seriousness

I am the least serious person ever but whoever is joking about cancer is vile :)

Get some fucking respect you silly tramp