Humor

What is the similarity between an anti-joke and a clown? Neither are funny.

A man from Brooklyn is arguing with an Englishman. He says things like,

"It's an elevator, not a lift!"

and

"It's a bathroom! Not 'washroom'!"

He keeps going on until the Englishman says,

"Hey wanker, it's a school, not a god damned shooting range."

Knock, knock. Who's there? Wakanda? Wakanda who? WAKANDA ENDING IS THIS?

What's Stephen Hawking's other favorite song?

Steve Winwood's "Just Roll with It Baby."

I asked a man for ten dollars for a cup of coffee. The man said coffee was only a quarter. I told him I was putting all my begs in one ask-it.

Stephen Hawking went on a date last night.

She left after 15 minutes, complaining she didn't like his tone.

Wanna hear a pizza joke?

Ah, never mind, it's too cheesy.

I have no dad, no milk, and no mom, so that means no tits, like if you can relate.

Yo forehead so big it touches yo neck.

Me: The last time I used Duolingo was when the dinosaurs went extinct.

Duolingo: Lemme send my twins 2 go 2 ur houze (I got sideways8 twins)

I don't have a joke, it's just funny reading them.

Roses are red, violets are bl-- oh yeah, I'm bad at jokes.

Guys, am I funny?

9/11 jokes are that deadly not even the towers could hold themselves up.

Everyone knows why 6 is scared of 7, cuz 7 8 9.

But why does 10 have PTSD?

Cuz it’s between 9/11.

I’m in a wheelchair and I can do stand-up comedy, oh wait...

Oh, you just got owned, like my ancestors.

This is not a joke, but if your uncle tells you, "Bend over, touch your toes, I'll show you where the monster goes," don't do it, hehehehehe.

What do you call it when a gorilla bumps uglies with an orangutan?

Monkeypox.

If Joe Biden was on stage and he heard gunshots, he probably would’ve thought it was the ice cream truck.