Humor

What do you call two Mexicans having sex? 50 Shades of Brown.

Man, abortion jokes just don't get old, do they?

In fact, they don't age at all.

Isn't eating a clock time-consuming?

My phone was at 10%, and my friend said it better not shut down like Stephen Hawking.

A married woman gets hit by a truck, and the cops tell her husband:

Cop: "Sir, it looks like your wife's been hit by a truck."

Man: "I know, but she has a great personality."

Why don't we wrestle bears?

The pain is un-bearable.

What does Jonathan Davis eat for breakfast?

Korn Flakes.

Someone came to me and said, "Your dad is gay." I just said, "Wait. You know where my dad is? Please tell me!"

One time, a cow saved my life.

It was bovine intervention.

Enough of the sex jokes! I mean, come on, they are not even funny!

The Stiggs life is a joke. Wait, I forgot, he doesn't have a life.

What is the similarity between an anti-joke and a clown? Neither are funny.

What did the banana say to the vibrator?

"What are you shaking for? She’s going to eat me!"

Stop with the 9/11 jokes.

They're not gonna fly.

A man from Brooklyn is arguing with an Englishman. He says things like,

"It's an elevator, not a lift!"

and

"It's a bathroom! Not 'washroom'!"

He keeps going on until the Englishman says,

"Hey wanker, it's a school, not a god damned shooting range."

Knock, knock. Who's there? Wakanda? Wakanda who? WAKANDA ENDING IS THIS?

What's Stephen Hawking's other favorite song?

Steve Winwood's "Just Roll with It Baby."

I asked a man for ten dollars for a cup of coffee. The man said coffee was only a quarter. I told him I was putting all my begs in one ask-it.

Stephen Hawking went on a date last night.

She left after 15 minutes, complaining she didn't like his tone.

Wanna hear a pizza joke?

Ah, never mind, it's too cheesy.