Humor
Lessi
My wife is an optimist. Our first night together, she handed me a Magnum XL condom. I didn’t know what to do, so I made her a balloon animal 🎈🦒.
What's the slowest train in the world? A slow coach!
My girlfriend's dog died, so to cheer her up I went out and got her an identical one.
She went mad, "What am I going to do with two dead dogs?"
If you humped a whale, it would humpback.
Knock, knock.
*takes out penis*
Who is there?
Butthole 😎
Why shouldn't you tell a secret in a corn field?
Because they are full of ears!
Now that was a corny joke.
And yes, it was rather a-maize-ing.
What's the artist imagine something?
Imagine Dragons!
Imagine draggin' these nuts across your face!
Why did the Indian man refuse to use deodorant? Because he wanted to smell like his natural habitat, the shitter.
How many beaten children does it take to change a light bulb for a drunken father?
Apparently not enough to impress him.
You want to hear some marriage jokes?
Don't worry, it's just a couple.
I tried to pull (his/her) leg at the comedy club, but got arrested for sexual harassment. Does that still count as a joke? 🤣
Jack and Jill went up the hill to do it in the water. Jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter.
Dark humor is like life:
Not everyone gets it.
I would say a good joke, but all the good ones Argon.
What happens when Steven Hawking dies?
Take his iPad to Cash Converters.
What is red and tan and spins for about 50 mph?
A baby in a blender.
What's sad and has no life? The person reading this.
I told my deaf mom to be nice to the neighbors. She didn't listen...
What did the maxi pad say to the fart? "You are the wind beneath my wings."