Humor
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
Q: Why did the cow touch an electric fence?
A: Because it wanted to get electrocowted! 🐄
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your grandma died, your dad left you too, Now you're living with your old grandma coot. Oh, let's not forget your mom left you, too. You gon' live alone, die alone, with no roses on your casket, too.
What does the pedophile use for bait? Trix!
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He had a computer virus!
Rape jokes like cancer jokes or AIDS jokes are just humorous wordplay. If you don't agree, send me your details, and we'll see if you prefer actual rape to a harmless rape joke... YOU SAD SACKS OF HUMORLESS SHIT MUNCHERS!
What do you call two Mexicans having sex? 50 Shades of Brown.
One time, a cow saved my life.
It was bovine intervention.
Why don't we wrestle bears?
The pain is un-bearable.
What does Jonathan Davis eat for breakfast?
Korn Flakes.
My phone was at 10%, and my friend said it better not shut down like Stephen Hawking.
Isn't eating a clock time-consuming?
A married woman gets hit by a truck, and the cops tell her husband:
Cop: "Sir, it looks like your wife's been hit by a truck."
Man: "I know, but she has a great personality."
Someone came to me and said, "Your dad is gay." I just said, "Wait. You know where my dad is? Please tell me!"
What is the similarity between an anti-joke and a clown? Neither are funny.
The Stiggs life is a joke. Wait, I forgot, he doesn't have a life.
Enough of the sex jokes! I mean, come on, they are not even funny!
Man, abortion jokes just don't get old, do they?
In fact, they don't age at all.
What planets do Astronauts like to pee on?
Uranus!
(Say this out loud and it will make more sense.)
On a bus, a priest sat next to a drunk who was struggling to read a newspaper.
Suddenly, with a slurred voice, the drunk asked the priest:
"Do you know what arthritis is?"
The parish priest soon thought of taking the opportunity to lecture the drunk and replied:
"It's a disease caused by sinful and unruly life: excess, consumption of alcohol, drugs, marijuana, crack, and certainly lost women, prostitutes, promiscuity, sex, binges, and other things I dare not say."
The drunk widened his eyes, shut up, and continued reading the newspaper.
A little later the priest, thinking that he had been too hard on the drunk, tried to soften:
"How long have you had arthritis?"
"I don't have arthritis! It says here in the paper that the Pope has it."