Virus jokes

What happens when you get a virus-related sickness? It goes viral on Twitter!

I got my COVID test today, it says 50. What does that mean? Also, my IQ test came back positive.

I didn't know that COVID-19 was a thing until I saw your eyebrows and your hairline social distancing.

Why did the ACLU block the cellphone number of a Christian nationalist minister? Because the Christian nationalist had a virus on his cellphone and kept calling the ACLU because he wanted to join the ACLU because he wanted to become a card-carrying member of the ACLU.

I got kicked out of the hospital for saying, "Stay Positive," to the corona patients.

You're so ugly the whole world faked a virus just so you could wear a mask.

Coronavirus walks into a bar and tells the bartender, "Gimme a shot of whiskey, will ya?"

The bartender says, "Sorry. We don't serve viruses here."

Corona replies, "Well, you're not a very good host."

Dr. Fauci would be surprised to know that R. Kelly didn't catch COVID-19.

But since COVID is 19, it's too old for him.

Why are people mass buying toilet paper because of the coronavirus?

When someone sneezes, everyone shits their pants.

For all the people with Covid-19, I just want to say... Stay positive.

COVID-19 won't last long... it's made in China.

If only they had more mosquito nets in Africa, we could prevent millions of mosquitos dying needlessly of AIDS...

Should I buy COVID-19 or wait until COVID-20 comes out?

Why is Joe Biden afraid of getting COVID?

Because he'd lose his sense of smell.

What's the difference between Bird flu and swine flu?

For one you get tweetment, for the other you get oinkment.

Why did the computer go to the doctor?

Because it had a virus.

Are you corona? Cuz it’s hard to breathe around you ;)

When Covid spreads through food, but you realized you live in Africa.

Everybody was kung flu dying.

It traveled as fast as lightning.

2020 was expert timing.

In fact, it was a little bit frightening.

Just accidentally emailed a porn link to a co-worker... So I emailed ten other co-workers the link and called it a virus.