Virus

Virus Jokes

Twitter

What happens when you get a virus-related sickness? It goes viral on Twitter!

Test

I got my COVID test today, it says 50. What does that mean? Also, my IQ test came back positive.

Hairline

I didn't know that COVID-19 was a thing until I saw your eyebrows and your hairline social distancing.

Aclu

Why did the ACLU block the cellphone number of a Christian nationalist minister? Because the Christian nationalist had a virus on his cellphone and kept calling the ACLU because he wanted to join the ACLU because he wanted to become a card-carrying member of the ACLU.

Hospital

I got kicked out of the hospital for saying, "Stay Positive," to the corona patients.

Coronavirus

Coronavirus walks into a bar and tells the bartender, "Gimme a shot of whiskey, will ya?"

The bartender says, "Sorry. We don't serve viruses here."

Corona replies, "Well, you're not a very good host."

COVID-19

Dr. Fauci would be surprised to know that R. Kelly didn't catch COVID-19.

But since COVID is 19, it's too old for him.

Toilet Paper

Why are people mass buying toilet paper because of the coronavirus?

When someone sneezes, everyone shits their pants.

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  • Mosquito Net

    If only they had more mosquito nets in Africa, we could prevent millions of mosquitos dying needlessly of AIDS...

    Flu

    What's the difference between Bird flu and swine flu?

    For one you get tweetment, for the other you get oinkment.

    Covid

    When Covid spreads through food, but you realized you live in Africa.

    Lightning

    Everybody was kung flu dying.

    It traveled as fast as lightning.

    2020 was expert timing.

    In fact, it was a little bit frightening.

    Autism

    Children who are unvaccinated are less likely to have autism. You know why?

    -You have to be alive to have autism.