Virus jokes
What happens when you get a virus-related sickness? It goes viral on Twitter!
The teacher was asking some of her students the meanings of words.
"Sally, can you tell me what 'beautiful' means?"
Sally: "You..."
Teacher: "Aww! How nice! But next time, say the actual definition. Now, can someone tell me what 'malicious' means?"
Andrew: "A dangerous person and/or virus."
Teacher: "Great job, Andrew! Now, what does 'fat' mean? Johnny?"
Johnny: "A pig."
Teacher: "Could you tell me the actual defini- "
Johnny: "In other words, the person who last spoke to me!"
My family was like dinosaurs when they got COVID.
They both went extinct.
What do you call it when a gorilla bumps uglies with an orangutan?
Monkeypox.
Why did only blonds show up at Saturday's party during the Corona crisis?
Because their computers flashed, "Virus blocked!"
One random YouTube comment in 2018: "Soon, a virus will come to Earth."
A year later: "Pahahahahah that comment is fake lmaoooo ahahahha!"
Another year later: "Time to die a painful death."
Another year later: "God has come with the cure!"
What can you catch but not throw?
A cold!
What is the American virus? Diabetes.
A guy with AIDS went into the doctor's room unusually happy. You could even say he was HIV positive.
COVID is like fashion...
We started hearing about it in Italy...
Became popular in LA and NYC...
Florida ignored it...
And it was all made in China in the end.
My mom asked my doctor, "Why is my unvaccinated baby crying?"
The doctor replied, "He's going through a midlife crisis."
Is it OK to tell a Covid patient to stay positive?
How come the toilet paper could not make it across the road?
Because of the Corona Virus.
Why did Steven Hawkins die?
Because he got a virus.
Have you heard about the new Russian STD? Rottsmikokov.
Chuck Norris has come in contact with Covid.
Covid is now in a 14-day quarantine.
What is it you can give at Christmas and still keep? Herpes.
I like my COVID like I like my women: 19 and easy to spread.
Children who are unvaccinated are less likely to have autism. You know why?
-You have to be alive to have autism.
"Jack and Jill went home because he was sick because of the virus in town, gave him a frown, and his arms were pricked."