Humor

Humor

Arthritis

    • On a bus, a priest sat next to a drunk who was struggling to read a newspaper.

    Suddenly, with a slurred voice, the drunk asked the priest:

    "Do you know what arthritis is?"

    The parish priest soon thought of taking the opportunity to lecture the drunk and replied:

    "It's a disease caused by sinful and unruly life: excess, consumption of alcohol, drugs, marijuana, crack, and certainly lost women, prostitutes, promiscuity, sex, binges, and other things I dare not say."

    The drunk widened his eyes, shut up, and continued reading the newspaper.

    A little later the priest, thinking that he had been too hard on the drunk, tried to soften:

    "How long have you had arthritis?"

    "I don't have arthritis! It says here in the paper that the Pope has it."

  • 1

    • Rabbit

    • "A priest, an imam, and a rabbit walk into a clinic to donate blood. The rabbit turns to the nurse and says, 'I think I'm a Type-O!'"

  • 5

    • Floor

    • I was at work and a few fat women came up to me and asked for some help.

    Later that week, I ran into them on the dance floor. One of them asked me if I wanted to dance. I told her no. The other asked me if I knew what was cracking. I calmly said, "The floor."

    Month

    • The fourth month (symbolizing 41%) on the first day, transgenders mourn for the trans suicides.

    That day is called "April Fool's."

    Humor memes

    Penis

    • A daughter asked her mother how to spell penis. Her mom said, "You should have asked me last night. It was at the tip of my tongue."

  • 1

    • Yo mama

    • I told my dad that I wanted to go to a college with a 100% acceptance rate and a 50% graduation rate, and he said, "Your mom doesn't count as a college!"

    Uncle

    • This is not a joke, but if your uncle tells you, "Bend over, touch your toes, I'll show you where the monster goes," don't do it, hehehehehe.

  • 1

    • PTSD

    • Everyone knows why 6 is scared of 7, cuz 7 8 9.

    But why does 10 have PTSD?

    Cuz it’s between 9/11.

  • 1

    • Porn

    • What did the female farmer say to the person who raises a male chicken? "Nice cock!"

  • 0

    • Math class

    • Imagine this: You're at math class. The teacher asks you, "What's 11 * 11?" You say, "120." The teacher says, "Wrong!" You say, "How off was I?" The teacher says, "1."

    Me rn: REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE WHERES THE RAGE TABLE or something like that.

    Time

    • Me: The last time I used Duolingo was when the dinosaurs went extinct.

    Duolingo: Lemme send my twins 2 go 2 ur houze (I got sideways8 twins)