Humor

What do you call Indian dhal that is delicious?

Well, that is DHALicious!

Imagine this: You're at math class. The teacher asks you, "What's 11 * 11?" You say, "120." The teacher says, "Wrong!" You say, "How off was I?" The teacher says, "1."

Me rn: REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE WHERES THE RAGE TABLE or something like that.

So, my mom was talking to me and told me to go to the store. When I get there, there’s a sign, but then someone tells me that’s just someone with a ginormous forehead.

What’s the difference between KFC and a woman on her period?

One’s finger-licking good and the other is just a fast food restaurant.

What do you call a guy named Kaiden?

I don't know, lol.

"A priest, an imam, and a rabbit walk into a clinic to donate blood. The rabbit turns to the nurse and says, 'I think I'm a Type-O!'"

I like my wine like my women:

16 and in my basement.

What do you call a 96-year-old who can still masturbate?

Miracle Whip.

A daughter asked her mother how to spell penis. Her mom said, "You should have asked me last night. It was at the tip of my tongue."

I told my dad that I wanted to go to a college with a 100% acceptance rate and a 50% graduation rate, and he said, "Your mom doesn't count as a college!"

Roses are red, violets are bl-- oh yeah, I'm bad at jokes.

Guys, am I funny?

I’m in a wheelchair and I can do stand-up comedy, oh wait...

9/11 jokes just don't fly around me.

What do you call an Afghanistan person in a bath?

A bath bomb.

I wish I was dead like my jokes.

When your mum sold you on eBay for £2 pound for girls stripper.

Everyone knows why 6 is scared of 7, cuz 7 8 9.

But why does 10 have PTSD?

Cuz it’s between 9/11.

I went to a book store yesterday and I saw a book that said "how to solve 50% of your problems." So I bought 2.

Why didn't the doctor help the orphan?

Because he was a family doctor!