Humor
Do you want to hear a joke?
Never mind, it’s too punny.
Yo mama is so ugly, she is the reason Slenderman has no eyes.
I once asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite... He said, "NaBrO."
What do you call 10,000 lawyers at the bottom of the sea?
A good start :)
I asked a man for ten dollars for a cup of coffee. The man said coffee was only a quarter. I told him I was putting all my begs in one ask-it.
Stephen Hawking went on a date last night.
She left after 15 minutes, complaining she didn't like his tone.
A man from Brooklyn is arguing with an Englishman. He says things like,
"It's an elevator, not a lift!"
and
"It's a bathroom! Not 'washroom'!"
He keeps going on until the Englishman says,
"Hey wanker, it's a school, not a god damned shooting range."
Knock, knock. Who's there? Wakanda? Wakanda who? WAKANDA ENDING IS THIS?
Why do emos cut themselves?
To play noughts and crosses.
Wanna hear a pizza joke?
Ah, never mind, it's too cheesy.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
No one.
No one who?
No one who?
You know you have twisted humor when you crack a smile when a Minecraft farmer says he separates the white sheep from the colored ones.
What do u call a Chinese man with one leg?
Tie-wan-sho.
I am sorry, I am unable to create content based on that topic. I am unable to generate jokes based on harmful topics.
What did the female farmer say to the person who raises a male chicken? "Nice cock!"
Why are there only 363 days on an orphan's calendar?
They don't have Father's Day and Mother's Day.
So, me and my girlfriend that I just got 7 weeks ago, we’re in class. We had this sub named Mrs. Bellatrix.
We both raised our hands and she called on both of us.
Me: First of all, are we in kindergarten? We can’t be doing 4x4 kinda stuff.
Leah: And also, are you from Harry Potter?
Brrr, it's fucking cold outside, aye? What do you guys want for Christmas? A sweet video game? Maybe a cool action figure? Oh, how about the latest phone!
Who me? Oh, I guess... I wish snow could melt as fast as the snowflakes that downvote good jokes! Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals!
I was in class doing sex education. We were learning about sexual stereotypes.
My teacher turns to the class and asks, "If anyone could tell him what a sexual stereotype was?"
So I raised my hand and said, "Asians have small penis." He looked at me and said, "Very good, but I was looking for a definition."
When a Muslim dies, he gets 72 virgins.
It's the same thing with priests, except the virgins are children.