Humor
Talking about planets with my nephew.
He asked if you could plow thru Uranus because it's all gas.
My friend who is in a wheelchair told me a joke, and I burst out laughing. I told him he should be a stand-up comedian.
By the way, why are there no knock knock jokes about America?
Because freedom rings, but they never answer that door.
Enjoy!
Q: What do you call a duck that's sad?
A: Idk, but it's acting really duckpressed.
What did the calculator say to the student?
You can always count on me.
Memes
Glad to make the floors wet
I was given an invisibility cloak by my grandfather, but it was stolen in 2013. After investigating this issue, I have come to the conclusion it was Robert Lewandisney.
That's why he was invisible in every big game since 2013. SHAME ON YOU LEWANDISNEY!
These jokes are darker than the list of victims dead from cops.
Yo hairline so far back, it goes back to Jesus on the cross!
Mia’s mother has 5 kids: Lilly, Abby, Alexa, Mila, and.... Q: Who is last? A: Mia.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Little old lady. Little old lady who? Little old lady, you don’t need to yodel about it!
What did God say to the black person?
"Oops, I burned one."😳
Not racist, just funny.
Spend all night in a dark humor webpage.
Go to an orphanage today and read it to them.
And I'm sure if you go to a school for disabled children, they should understand it.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
An interrupting cow.
And inter-moo!
These orphan jokes are getting old. I mean, seriously, haven't you got something better to tell?
Bully: My d*ck is longer than your password.
Me: Sorry mate, it's so short, get a longer one! 🤣
What did the spaghetti say to the sauce? Pasta la vista!
What did the phone receptionist at the suicide hotline tell the callers?
Hang in there!
I would tell you a joke about 9/11, but it would come crashing down on you.
Do you know 6+3?
Other person: Nine.
Nein is no in German.
Knock knock. Who's there? Dees. Dees who? Dees nuts!
(Or dees nuts in yo mouth!)
People tell me to be nice to orphans, so I say, "What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?"