Humor
"I really hate cats," my friend replied with, "You gotta be kitten me!"
Wife: Honey! Do you like tea?
Husband: No, I like after "T"!
It means: the letter "U": you!
You know what you could use? An orphan as a punching bag.
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
What instrument do people like to listen to while having sex?
A sex-a-phone.
Teacher: "Okay, so how are you going?"
Student: "I'm not going."
Teacher: "Oh, so you're a wheelchair person?"
What's the best name for a prostitute?
SI-MOAN.
1. What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?
A dino-snore!
2. What is fast, loud, and crunchy?
A rocket chip!
3. Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?
Because she was stuffed!
4. What has ears but cannot hear?
A cornfield!
5. What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between us, something smells!
Your mom sings "It's the Final Countdown" while pooping.
What are you going to have for a face when the baboon wants its butt back?
Chuck Norris destroys the yo mama!
People can say whatever they want about pedophiles. At least they are pursuing their dreams.
In a white van.
A little boy and a little girl were taking a bath.
The little girl looked down and said, "What's that?"
"That's my little red sports car," said the little boy.
The little boy looked down and said, "What's that?"
"That's my little red sports car garage," said the little girl.
A few seconds later, the little girl said, "How about you put your little red sports car in my little red sports car garage?"
"Sure," said the little boy.
The little boy's mother was downstairs and heard this blood curdling scream. She ran upstairs. Once she got there, she saw blood all over the bathtub. "What happened?!" she said.
"Well, Johnny tried to put his little red sports car in my little red sports car garage...but it didn't fit...so I cut the back wheels off..."
There was a man in a wheelchair, and he got knocked out in front of a bus. He had a wheelie good life!
What is Mr. Incredible's biggest fan now called? Down Syndrome :)
What happened to the eight-year-old boy that needed to go to the bathroom during church?
The priest stopped him on the way there.
Of course Jesus wasn't a virgin! He obviously liked being nailed!
Donald Trump took the bullet better than Joe Biden took the stairs.
What’s black and sits on top of the stairs?
Christopher Reeves in a house fire.
My dads just like my eggs... runny. 🤣😭🥺
What was the incontinent farmer's greatest problem? He managed his carrot patch but couldn't control his peas!