Humor

Your mom sings "It's the Final Countdown" while pooping.

Chuck Norris destroys the yo mama!

A little boy and a little girl were taking a bath.

The little girl looked down and said, "What's that?"

"That's my little red sports car," said the little boy.

The little boy looked down and said, "What's that?"

"That's my little red sports car garage," said the little girl.

A few seconds later, the little girl said, "How about you put your little red sports car in my little red sports car garage?"

"Sure," said the little boy.

The little boy's mother was downstairs and heard this blood curdling scream. She ran upstairs. Once she got there, she saw blood all over the bathtub. "What happened?!" she said.

"Well, Johnny tried to put his little red sports car in my little red sports car garage...but it didn't fit...so I cut the back wheels off..."

A toddler was giving her daddy a tea party.

She brought him a little cup of "tea" which was just water, of course. After several cups of tea, her Mom came home. Dad made her wait in the living room to watch his little Princess bring him a cup of tea, because it was, "Just the cutest thing!" Mom waited, and sure enough, here she come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy. She watches him drink it up and then says, "You know the only place she can reach water, is the toilet!"

There was a man in a wheelchair, and he got knocked out in front of a bus. He had a wheelie good life!

Of course Jesus wasn't a virgin! He obviously liked being nailed!

Donald Trump took the bullet better than Joe Biden took the stairs.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

Depends on how hard you throw them.

Why do I tell bad jokes?

I'm a lesbian.

What's the best name for a prostitute?

SI-MOAN.

What was the incontinent farmer's greatest problem? He managed his carrot patch but couldn't control his peas!

What do you call a kid with a special sense of humor? Autism, hahaha!

Most of the people here: That's not funny, lots of people died.

Bruh, why are you in here if you can't take a joke?

Bro, my friend told me all his humor is dead and dry, and I was like, "Just like 9/11 victims."

I was anonymous with the previous jokes. I will now go by "I can fly! *falls*."

What's black and white and red all over? A mime I hit with my car.

What is cheetah's favorite taste to run fast?

Cheetah outta here!

My dad told me Santa was black, so instead of cookies and milk waiting for him when he came down the chimney, he got cornbread and purple Kool-Aid.

Black humor is when you ask water to African people.

To all those who say this is a joke, it isn't. It's a core of humor and magic. It's a part of humor we can keep. Like if you agree.

Sonic says... April 1st is the best day to do a school shooting. They will think it’s a joke! 😃