Humor
What does Stephen Hawking eat for breakfast? His shoulder.
What number is better than 69?
88 'cause you get ate twice.
What did one tampon say to the other tampon?
Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches!
Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
Social distancing.
The Bigfoots had a campfire. One Bigfoot asked what should we roast next. The other replied, "Maybe a penis and a girl."
What’s a nun's weapon of choice?
Nun-chucks.
Cheesiest jokes.
How is Stephen Hawking dead?
His Windows shit down.
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta!
Why was the Ethiopian baby crying?
It was having a mid-life crisis.
Why is the wheel the best invention?
Because it's wheely wheely great!
Why are eagles 🦅 bald?
Because they don’t wear wigs.
Write a different joke of onions and a dead baby.
What happens when two pieces of bread from the same loaf have sex?
They become in-bread.
What do you call a Russian rifle that went 1 rank down?
An AK-46.
What did one casket say to the other casket?
"Is that you coughin'?"
Best friend *holds a sign up that says "what gender are you?"*
Me: Uh, male?..
Best friend *then unfolds paper so it reads "what gender are you attracted to?"*
Me: You silly goose.
*Silence for like three seconds*
Me: Still male though-
I would make a 9/11 joke, but it just wouldn't land.
What did the Chinese man say to his wife?
I'll chin you later.
One day, he started crying out of nowhere. Everyone started crying with him.
There was a crying pandemic going around.