Humor
What number is better than 69?
88 'cause you get ate twice.
What's the best name for a prostitute?
SI-MOAN.
Best friend *holds a sign up that says "what gender are you?"*
Me: Uh, male?..
Best friend *then unfolds paper so it reads "what gender are you attracted to?"*
Me: You silly goose.
*Silence for like three seconds*
Me: Still male though-
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta!
How is Stephen Hawking dead?
His Windows shit down.
What’s a nun's weapon of choice?
Nun-chucks.
Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
Social distancing.
Write a different joke of onions and a dead baby.
Why are eagles 🦅 bald?
Because they don’t wear wigs.
What did one casket say to the other casket?
"Is that you coughin'?"
What do you call a Russian rifle that went 1 rank down?
An AK-46.
I would make a 9/11 joke, but it just wouldn't land.
What did the Chinese man say to his wife?
I'll chin you later.
What instrument do people like to listen to while having sex?
A sex-a-phone.
One day, he started crying out of nowhere. Everyone started crying with him.
There was a crying pandemic going around.
You know what you could use? An orphan as a punching bag.
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Teacher: "Okay, so how are you going?"
Student: "I'm not going."
Teacher: "Oh, so you're a wheelchair person?"
Wife: Honey! Do you like tea?
Husband: No, I like after "T"!
It means: the letter "U": you!
The Bigfoots had a campfire. One Bigfoot asked what should we roast next. The other replied, "Maybe a penis and a girl."
What did one tampon say to the other tampon?
Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches!