Tea

Tea jokes

Vampire

    • A vampire walks into a bar and orders a cup of hot water. The bartender asks, "I thought you guys only drink blood?"

    The vampire pulls out a used tampon and says, "I'm making tea."

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    • Rose

    • ok this isn't a joke but it's funny.

    Roses are red, nuts are brown, Skirts go up, pants go down. Body to body, skin to skin, when it's stiff, stick it in. It goes in dry, comes out wet, the longer it's in, the stronger it gets. It comes out dripping and starts to sag, It's not what you think, it's a lipton tea bag.

    Get your mind out of the gutter.

  • 12

    • Road

    • To make tea, road, road, road, road.

    Case.

    The space of space, Der der.

    The chosen week was chosen.

    Object.

    Der mezzer lakes.

  • 0

    • Context

    • How much context, pecker? You Press context categoria, go Discord.

    Drink tea with friend game night.

  • 1
    • Tea memes

    Misfortune

    • My dog stepped on a bee, My child spilt my tea, I drank my hot tea, I broke my bloody knee, Now I'm lying in agony, And I'm devastated with no glee.

    (Again, credits to my really funny friend)

    Tea Bag

    • Shorts go up, pants go down. Body to body, skin to skin. When it's sniff, stick it in. It goes in dry and comes out wet, And the longer it's in, the stronger it gets. It comes out dripping and starts to sag.

    It's not what you think it is. It's a Lipton tea bag.

    Get your mind together!

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    • Bingo

    • After having a win at bingo, Ethel splashed out on some venison for tea.

    During the meal, her daughter asked her mum what it was, to which she replied with a little smile... "It's what I call your father."

    Little Jimmy threw down his knife and fork and jumped up sayin', "Oh My God! Don't eat it!!! It's a fucking Dick!"

    Surgeon

    • My boss doctor said that we are getting a surgeon coming in tomorrow. I'm super excited to work with him. The next day, we had to do our first-ever open heart surgery, so me and the surgeon spent many hours on this patient. We finished the surgery and went outside for a smoke, and we were talking. I said, "Why did you keep the patient's blood on your glove?"

    He replied, "We in my free time I test it for anything diseases, HIV." The next day, I got invited to his house, and we had some drinks. I said, "This is amazing red tea. What is in it?" Just the 2000 people you have cut open.

  • 2

    • Friend

    • Three friends are in a hotel room in Soviet Russia.

    The first two men open a bottle of vodka, while the third is tired and goes straight to bed. He is unable to sleep however, as his increasingly drunk friends tell political jokes loudly.

    After a while, the tired man gets frustrated and walks downstairs for a smoke. He stops in the lounge and asks the receptionist to bring tea to their room in five minutes.

    The man walks back into the room, joins the table, leans towards a power outlet and speaks into it:

    "Comrade major, we want some tea to room 62 please."

    His friends laugh at the joke, until there is a knock on the door. The receptionist brings a teapot. His friends fall silent and pale, horrified of what they just witnessed. The party is dead, and the man goes to sleep.

    After a good night's rest, the man wakes up, and notices his friends are gone. Surprised, he walks downstairs and asks the receptionist where they went.

    The nervous receptionist whispers that KGB came and took them before dawn.

    The man is horrified. He wonders why he was spared.

    The receptionist responds:

    "Well, comrade major did quite like your tea joke."

  • 1