Tea jokes
ok this isn't a joke but it's funny.
Roses are red, nuts are brown, Skirts go up, pants go down. Body to body, skin to skin, when it's stiff, stick it in. It goes in dry, comes out wet, the longer it's in, the stronger it gets. It comes out dripping and starts to sag, It's not what you think, it's a lipton tea bag.
Get your mind out of the gutter.
A vampire walks into a bar and orders a cup of hot water. The bartender asks, "I thought you guys only drink blood?"
The vampire pulls out a used tampon and says, "I'm making tea."
What did Trump say to Epstein? "I like my tea like I like my teens: warm, sweet, and freshly made."
I have tried coke; it is not my cup of tea.
Why did Marx never drink Earl Grey?
Because proper tea is theft.
I like my people how I like my tea...
In a bag under water.
How does Moses prepare his tea? -- Hebrews it.
How does Jesus make tea?
Hebrews it.
What kind of tea do wealthy people own?
Proper-Tea.
Back in Australia, my puns are high koala-tea!
What's the difference between England and a tea bag? -- The tea bag stays longer in a cup.
Why did Queen Elizabeth the II die?
Because she ran out of immortali-tea.
Americans when they think they have the best offensive British jokes: "we threw your tea in the ocean." 💀
British people making offensive jokes about America: "our towers didn’t explode."😎
What is the biggest disrespect to send a box of tea bags to Africa?
Three vampires walk into a bar. The first one orders a Bloody Mary. The second orders a Bloody Mary. The bartender turns to the third and asks, “A Bloody Mary?”
The vampire shakes his head. “Hot water for me.”
“Hot water?”
“I found a tampon out back and want to make tea.”
Next time you see a Brit, go up to them and say:
"Imagine losing a 'Tea Party in Boston.'"
What is Michael Jackson's favorite drink? Tea-hee-hee!
A guy went to the doctor and told him that whenever he drinks a cup of tea, his eye hurts. The doctor brought him a cup and asked him to drink. When he finished, the doctor told him: "From now on, take off the spoon."
In memory of Michael Jackson, Starbucks and various other establishments are introducing the Jackson tea. It's 50 year old water, with a 7 year old tea bag.
What type of tea does the Social Justice Warrior avoid?
Reality.