Tea

Tea Jokes

Rose

ok this isn't a joke but it's funny.

Roses are red, nuts are brown, Skirts go up, pants go down. Body to body, skin to skin, when it's stiff, stick it in. It goes in dry, comes out wet, the longer it's in, the stronger it gets. It comes out dripping and starts to sag, It's not what you think, it's a lipton tea bag.

Get your mind out of the gutter.

Vampire

A vampire walks into a bar and orders a cup of hot water. The bartender asks, "I thought you guys only drink blood?"

The vampire pulls out a used tampon and says, "I'm making tea."

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  • Teen

    What did Trump say to Epstein? "I like my tea like I like my teens: warm, sweet, and freshly made."

    Memes

    Tea Bag

    What's the difference between England and a tea bag? -- The tea bag stays longer in a cup.

    Queen

    Why did Queen Elizabeth the II die?

    Because she ran out of immortali-tea.

    Ocean

    Americans when they think they have the best offensive British jokes: "we threw your tea in the ocean." 💀

    British people making offensive jokes about America: "our towers didn’t explode."😎

    Vampire

    Three vampires walk into a bar. The first one orders a Bloody Mary. The second orders a Bloody Mary. The bartender turns to the third and asks, “A Bloody Mary?”

    The vampire shakes his head. “Hot water for me.”

    “Hot water?”

    “I found a tampon out back and want to make tea.”

    Tea Party

    Next time you see a Brit, go up to them and say:

    "Imagine losing a 'Tea Party in Boston.'"

    Eye

    A guy went to the doctor and told him that whenever he drinks a cup of tea, his eye hurts. The doctor brought him a cup and asked him to drink. When he finished, the doctor told him: "From now on, take off the spoon."

    Memory

    In memory of Michael Jackson, Starbucks and various other establishments are introducing the Jackson tea. It's 50 year old water, with a 7 year old tea bag.