Stephen Hawking went on a date last night.
She left after 15 minutes, complaining she didn't like his tone.
Humor
Knock, knock. Who's there? Wakanda? Wakanda who? WAKANDA ENDING IS THIS?
A man from Brooklyn is arguing with an Englishman. He says things like,
"It's an elevator, not a lift!"
and
"It's a bathroom! Not 'washroom'!"
He keeps going on until the Englishman says,
"Hey wanker, it's a school, not a god damned shooting range."
Why did the man die of the actor's performance?
The performance was unbeLIVEable!
What do you call a PEIS?
Yo mama so fat it took Nationwide three years to get on her good side.
"What's 9 + 10?"
"21" (lol XD)
Also:
"My name Jeff" (Roar XD)
One more thing:
Ninja has ligma.
What's Stephen Hawking's other favorite song?
Steve Winwood's "Just Roll with It Baby."
Who tells the best chicken jokes?
Comedi-hens!
What does the right eye say to the left eye?
Between you and me, something smells!
I once asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite... He said, "NaBrO."
What separates snowmen from snow-women?
Snow balls.
My god, my egg jokes are eggcellent!
Whoever invented the knock-knock joke should get a "no bell" prize.
Two skeletons meet at the graveyard at noon.
"What the heck are you doing here?"
"I couldn't sleep."
I still remember my granddad's last words,
"Are you still holding the ladder?"
It's really great that you can make fun of orphans, 'cause what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
A girl named Ranch went to the store and stayed there. Why? Because she was ranched!
"A priest, an imam, and a rabbit walk into a clinic to donate blood. The rabbit turns to the nurse and says, 'I think I'm a Type-O!'"
I’m in a wheelchair and I can do stand-up comedy, oh wait...
