Humor
If you wanna get fat, what's the quickest way to do it?
Eat two jars of mayo each day, and in about a month, your scale will have your phone number!
What do you say to your customer at a popsicle stand when he asks for the price?
Dollar a pop!
Get it?
What happens when skeletons score points in a game?
They get a bone-us.
Meat stands for: M - monitoring, E - evaluating, A - assessing/addressing, T - treatment.
So when you're shoving meat up people's asses, then you're monitoring them, evaluating them, assessing them, and treating them.
I remember asking my mum: "What's a couple?"
She replied, "Two or three."
Which probably explains her collapsed marriage.
Memes
Shitpost-master general
I find that a lot of butts CRACK me up.
So funny hahaha this is why I don't have friends :(
A bear walked into the bar and said, "Can I have a cola and a...whisky?" The bartender says, "What's with the big paws?"
Why was sis afraid of seven?
Cuz 7 ate 9.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
Because they thought they saw their parents. (Plot twist: the orphan got ran over.)
The skeleton cancelled the gallery showing of his skull-ptures because his heart just wasn’t in it.
Yo mama is so ugly, she is the reason Slenderman has no eyes.
Why do my kids die?
Stinky Oussy :D
Why was the fart on Kickstarter? He just needed some gas.
Do you want to hear a joke?
Never mind, it’s too punny.
Yo mama so fat it took Nationwide three years to get on her good side.
It's punny.
"What's 9 + 10?"
"21" (lol XD)
Also:
"My name Jeff" (Roar XD)
One more thing:
Ninja has ligma.
Why did the tangerine copy off other people's work?
Because the tangerine was unORANGEinal!
I don’t believe in reincarnation now, and I didn’t believe in it when I was a hamster.
—Shane Richie, British actor