Humor
What do you call it when someone fucks shoe inserts?
Orthopediphilia.
Why did Little Johnny drop his ice cream?
Because he got hit by a bus.
What do you call it when a gorilla bumps uglies with an orangutan?
Monkeypox.
If Joe Biden was on stage and he heard gunshots, he probably would’ve thought it was the ice cream truck.
This is not a joke, but if your uncle tells you, "Bend over, touch your toes, I'll show you where the monster goes," don't do it, hehehehehe.
Memes
I'd tell a bad baby joke, but I decided to abort.
Do you know Candice?
"Candice balls" fit in yo mouth.
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair that does comedy?
Sit down comedy.
"A priest, an imam, and a rabbit walk into a clinic to donate blood. The rabbit turns to the nurse and says, 'I think I'm a Type-O!'"
My phone is just like the Twin Towers; they got put in airplane mode.
I was at work and a few fat women came up to me and asked for some help.
Later that week, I ran into them on the dance floor. One of them asked me if I wanted to dance. I told her no. The other asked me if I knew what was cracking. I calmly said, "The floor."
How do Taliban parents feed their babies?
"Here comes the plane... weeee, BOOM! 💥"
Guys, am I funny?
What do you call it when a caveman does a fart?
A blast from the past!
What do you call Indian dhal that is delicious?
Well, that is DHALicious!
Imagine this: You're at math class. The teacher asks you, "What's 11 * 11?" You say, "120." The teacher says, "Wrong!" You say, "How off was I?" The teacher says, "1."
Me rn: REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE WHERES THE RAGE TABLE or something like that.
Why didn't the doctor help the orphan?
Because he was a family doctor!
I don't have a joke, it's just funny reading them.
Roses are red, violets are bl-- oh yeah, I'm bad at jokes.
I went to a book store yesterday and I saw a book that said "how to solve 50% of your problems." So I bought 2.