Humor

What do lizards and Queen Elizabeth have in common?

They both live long with dry skin.

- The emo went to give the tree a high five, but the emo was left hanging.

- How did the gay person die? Homicide.

- Why did the emo get kicked out of the amusement park? He was cutting in line.

- When does a joke turn into a dad joke? When it leaves and never comes back.

- I cried when my dad chopped onions. Onions was such a good dog.

- I have happy memories building sandcastles with my dad, until my mom took his urn away.

- How is the person over there different from cancer? His dad didn't beat cancer.

I once saw an orphan... I decided to ask them a simple question... "Hey! Where is your family?"

They didn't reply.

I kept asking them. They started crying. I started laughing. They ran away...

The Earth was flat once. 'Til yo mama got buried.

Why do dead babies cry? Just kidding, they are dead.

I'll stop with the horrible puns if you can say a good joke.

Are you an egg? 'Cause your jokes ain't funny.

What was the orphan's name?

Jake! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂🤣🤣😂🤣🤣😂😂

What do you call a vagina with multiple clits?

A tongue workout!

Why did the M&M go to school? He wanted to be a Smartie.

I tell dad jokes all the time even though I’m not actually a dad.

I’m a faux pa.

My jokes are cancer.

Want my opinion on Mongolia? It has its pros and Khans.

Life would be so much easier if grass was emo.

Because it would cut itself.

SAVE ORPHAN JOKES! SAVE THEM!

Josh: Tell me something funny.

Mark: My life.

What do you call two redheads on Mars?

Locals.

Yo mama is so fat, her blood type is Nutella.

What is the difference between a guy with cancer and the Twin Towers?

Nothing, they both fell.

What did the blind man say on Christmas?

"I can feel your presents!"