Two windmills are standing in a field and one asks the other, “What kind of music do you like?” – The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
A Blonde crashed A Helicopter. A Police Officer Asked Her What Happened. She Says, “It Got Cold So I Turned Off The Fan.”
Why do hospitals have fans? To keep the vegetables fresh and cold.
I am a big fan of whiteboards I find them quite re-markable
A man goes into heaven and there he meets jesus. He asks Jesus what that broken clock is there for. Jesus says “that is mother teresa’s clock it has never moved because she has never lied”. “There is Abraham Lincolns clock. He has .lied twice so it has moved twice.” “Where is Donald Trump’s?” Ask’s the man. Jesus answers “it is in my office, I am using it as a ceiling fan.”
I’m a big fan of white boards I find them… Re markable.
A very rich and famous comedian walked in to a Russian bar and asked for a vodka, but the bar man (a big fan of his) answered to him:
- This vodka isn’t good enough for you.
- If it is good enough for you it is gudonov for me!
If I was an object in this world I’d be a glass! Because if you leave me when I’m too close to the edge I will likely shatter and break.
If I was a pizza topping I would be pineapple! Because everybody doubts me.
I’m a star! Because one of these days I’m going to crash and burn…
If I could choose what creature I come back as after I die I’d be a panda, because people would give a shit if I went extinct.
I’m like the sun; I’m painful to look at.
If I was a food I would be chopped liver because nobody likes me.
I’m like an eggshell… broken and empty.
If I was a mythical creature I’d be a unicorn! Because nobody believes in me.
I’m like a flashlight with old batteries inside because my inner light died a long time ago.
My soul is a raisin because it’s dried up shriveled, and not everyone likes it.
I’m like the moon because you only get to see one side of me.
I’m like the moon because as the month progresses my life becomes covered more and more by darkness.
I’m like an Ex streamly powerful fan! Because I push everyone away.
I’m like a disposable camera! People use me once and then just throw me away.
I’m like a shity book cover… because people think they have the right to judge and label me before they read my pages.
My brain and body is essentially a really old married couple that can’t afford to go through with the divorce and now they are stuck in a toxic relationship they are desperate to escape but the more they try the more they sink into the quicksand that is my depression and anxiety
What do you tell a dead metal fan? Rust in peace
im a big fan of white boards there re-marketable
Two windmills were standing in a wind farm, one asked whats your favorite type of music, the other one replied… IM A BIG METAL FAN
Paddys beautiful wife has not had an orgasm for the 15 yrs they have been married . The doctor suggests that she may be overheating during sex and a cool breeze may help . Being a bit of a cheapo , he decides not to buy a fan , but asks his friend Mick to waft a towel over them during the act . After half an hour, still no sign of success so his mate suggests swapping places . ’ I’ll have a try Paddy , you waft the towel ' Paddy agrees , and after two or three minutes Paddys wife has a moment of sexual pleasure screaming in ecstasy for the first time in 15 years . Paddy taps his mate Mick on teh shoulder and says ‘And that, Mick, is how you waft a bloody towel’ !
The first windmill said to the second, “What’s your favorite type of music.” The second windmill said, " I’m a big metal fan."
I called my dog 5 miles. Today, I fan over my miles.
Someone:hey are you a skeleton? A skeleton: course, I have a SKELE-ton of fans
Puns about air conditioning. I’m not a fan
Sweet victory fans: Fuck the NFL. They should be disbanded! Harvey Weinstein: I raped five girls and the NFL was one of them
Two wind turbines are standing in a field. One asks, "What’s your favorite type of music?" The other says, “Well…I’m a huge metal fan…”
I am a George Formby fan,and I love football…my favourite manager was Arsen Wenger…my favourite referee was Collina…my favourite player was Dean Windas…so my favourite George Formby song was Wenger,Collina,Windas
Anjolina Jolie was married to Brad Pitt… Does that make her a “Brad Nailer”, and him a “Jolie Jumper”?