Humor

A friend took me out to his shed and was showing me all his tools, when he pointed to a ladder. "That's my step ladder," he said. "I never knew my real ladder."

What do the Twin Towers and a bad joke have in common? They never land well.

Your mom's so fat, when she stands on the scale, it says, "To be continued..."

Hi, I’m Joe.

What's the hardest part about making vegetable stew?

Trying to get the wheelchair to fit into the pot.

What do you call a suspicious dog?

A sussy bark-er.

When's the best day to get the chair? Fry-day.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? "Why?" 'Cause she had no arms.

Why did Sally drop a broom? "Why?" 'Cause she had no arms.

Why did Sally go swimming? She didn't like not having arms.

Knock knock. "Who's there?" Not Sally, she hasn't come back yet.

I photo bombed someone's selfie, and then they yelled, "Why would you do that? I was trying to take a family photo!"

Your hairline is so far back, when your forehead was playing tag, your hairline ran away real far.

Mary: If you born pikin (child) inside shop, wetin you go call that pikin (child)?

Mike: The pikin (child) go bear Bishop.

If 7 8 9 why was ten scared?

It was right in the middle of 9/11.

Depresso Exspresso let's be friends, please.

Me: Knock, knock.

Another person (OP): OP: Who's there? Me: Hatch. OP: Hatch who? Me: Bless you =) OP: But I didn't sneeze. Me: You just don't get a joke, do you?

Why do orphans have no sense of humor?

I guess they've never heard a dad joke.

What did MLK Jr. say when he spent the night on the internet?

"Last night I had a meme."

I put this joke so the amount of jokes will be 69. Also, I have 50 kids in my basement. I fed "Twinkies" last night.

Dad: I heard an actor killed themselves with a knife. It was Reese something.

Mom: Witherspoon.

Dad: No, with a knife, you dummy!

What's the smartest insect? A spelling bee!

What does a storm cloud wear under his raincoat? Thunderwear.