Humor
Did you hear what happened to Lorainna Bobbit? She was in an accident on the Garden State Parkway. She told the State Police Officer, "That some dick cut her off."
Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like you’re not going to make it to your destination in time, so I’m going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.
Kobe: Take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I don’t really want to go to the event anymore.
What is the name of Hellen Keller's dog?
NYAHHH NYAHH NYUUUU NYAAHHHAADUUDU!
Time flies by, doesn’t it?
But the plane in 9/11 didn’t.
Me when people ask how old my girlfriends are:
"There's 2, there're 4, there're 6, there're 8."
What site does a vegetable go to when he/she is stressed?
cornhub.com
What did Mickey Mouse say to Minnie Mouse: "I don't use condoms; I use my drawbridge."
My grandmother made her passage on a boat. The thing wasn’t the only thing that went down.
I put this joke so the amount of jokes will be 69. Also, I have 50 kids in my basement. I fed "Twinkies" last night.
What do you call a suspicious dog?
A sussy bark-er.
I love fard 😋
You know what's the difference between my basement and Chick-fil-A?
A lot of things.
Why are life and a penis alike?
Women make both of them hard.
One day my kid with no arms came up to me and said, "Mom, what's dark humor?" I thought about it, then said, "Go wave to that blind person." He just looked at me, confused, but angry.
Well, I saw a stripper, and she was trying out bread.
How do cats relieve themselves in front of people? By licking their puss.
The brain named itself, and when the brain realized that it named itself, it was surprised.
But maybe, it was a spelling mistake and the brain wanted the name Brian. We all have a little Brian in us!
A Russian walked into a bar... Unlucky for him I guess, in Soviet Russia, you don’t walk into bars. Bars walk into you.
You’ve got something on your face. Wait, no, it’s just missing something. My dick.
What’s one thing you can say during a family dinner and in bed?
"Where are the kids?"