Humor
Your head looks like a joke.
/setblock minecraft_morbid_joke
/playsound pained_laugh
LAMO.
What do you call a paraplegic cannibal?
"Dine and dash."
Where do terrorists go for food? The Allah snack bar.
Yo mama so ugly that when Hello Kitty saw her, she said, "Goodbye!"
Ever had that feeling that suicidal people are a big contributor to the razor blade industry?
Well, they aren't.
Why?
They aren't repeated customers.
Did you hear what happened to Lorainna Bobbit? She was in an accident on the Garden State Parkway. She told the State Police Officer, "That some dick cut her off."
How do cats relieve themselves in front of people? By licking their puss.
What's the similarities between anonymous and a cow? I think you know...
Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like you’re not going to make it to your destination in time, so I’m going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.
Kobe: Take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I don’t really want to go to the event anymore.
The brain named itself, and when the brain realized that it named itself, it was surprised.
But maybe, it was a spelling mistake and the brain wanted the name Brian. We all have a little Brian in us!
I saw two really tall guys. I walked up and said, "I didn't know we still have the Twin Towers!"
Teddy’s got a man in his Fanny.
If you were a room in my house, I’d make you the basement.
So I could put kids inside you.
What’s the difference between a Catholic and a rabbit?
One has kids to protect from predators, and the other has kids for predators.
Time flies by, doesn’t it?
But the plane in 9/11 didn’t.
Why did God steal a rib from Adam and make a woman out of it?
God wanted to show that nothing sensible can come of stealing!
My girlfriend told me she’s sad because she’s put on a bit of weight.
I told her to keep her chins up.
One day my kid with no arms came up to me and said, "Mom, what's dark humor?" I thought about it, then said, "Go wave to that blind person." He just looked at me, confused, but angry.