Humor
Ok ok ok so 7 ate 9, but why was 10 scared? Because it was in the middle of 9/11.
It puts a whole new spin on meals on wheels. No pun intended.
Me and my friend roasting each other.
Him: Your dad dropped you on purpose, but my dad dropped me by accident.
Me: But after dropping you, he never picked you up.
Why is it easy to weigh fish?
Because they have their own scales! 😂😂😂😂😂😂
This is a short joke! This short joke is long. Nice joke, Mr. Steve.
Innit.
Hey baba girl, I have balls, you know.
Memories: I have ligma.
Ligma what?
Ligma balls.
"Confucius say, man who has mosquito on balls truly understands nonviolence."
Dad: Johnny, Johnny?
Johnny: Yes, Papa.
Dad: Getting women?
Johnny: Yes, Papa.
Dad: Telling lies?
Johnny: No, Papa.
Dad: Well, you're 100% lying because you get NO WOMEN!
My friend was in Afghanistan when he saw someone got shot, and then they bombed him. Now he called them the "Talkwakers."
If Bruce Willis (the guy in the Christmas movie Die Hard) dies of a Viagra overdose, would that mean he truly dies hard?
Why couldn't the orphan have the bag of chips?
It was family size.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple? Apples get picked.
I got evicted from the hospital today for telling all the patients to stay positive!
What a negative effect!
What is the most favorite coffee brand of feminists? Taster's Choice!
A man walks into his bedroom where his wife is carrying a sheep under her arm and says, "This is the pig I've been fucking."
Wife says, "That's not a pig; that's a sheep, dumbass."
Husband says, "I was talking to the sheep."
A farmer walks into his bedroom with his wife in bed with a sheep under his arm and says, "This is the pig I'm fucking." She says, "You idiot, that's a sheep!" He says, "Shut up, I wasn't talking to you."
A farmer artificially impregnated a cow. The cow said to another cow, "It's a miracle, I'm pregnant." The other cow said, "That's impossible, it's only us cows in the field, you must be joking." The first cow said, "Nope, I'm serious... no bull!"
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
Because he was part of the Lazy Bones team!