Depresso Exspresso let's be friends, please.
Humor
What do you call a suspicious dog?
A sussy bark-er.
What do you call it when you see nothing but pants? Brief psychotic disorder!
Ask the emo kid: "Hey, how's it hanging?"
Helen Keller walks into a bar... and a table... and a chair... and a wall.
Why can't people understand these jokes?
(Phone call) This is Frank's funeral home and grill, where yesterday's grief is today's beef. How may we help you?
Have you ever seen the Pokemon called Ryh... Rhydon these nuts?
How do you surprise a blind man?
Leave the plunger in the toilet.
Where did little billy go when he was stuck in a minefield... everywhere.
That joke was pretty dark, but it got pretty light for a second.
Why did the chicken cross the road? He had to finish his essay, or the teacher was gonna whoop his fat butt cheeks!
I rate it 9/11.
When you're watching "Gnomeo and Juliet 2" and your dad walks in on the gnome shaking his butt.
Bring out your weapons, people.
It's bullying time.
What's green and bad for your teeth?
A green brick.
A farmer walks into his bedroom with his wife in bed with a sheep under his arm and says, "This is the pig I'm fucking." She says, "You idiot, that's a sheep!" He says, "Shut up, I wasn't talking to you."
A farmer artificially impregnated a cow. The cow said to another cow, "It's a miracle, I'm pregnant." The other cow said, "That's impossible, it's only us cows in the field, you must be joking." The first cow said, "Nope, I'm serious... no bull!"
What is the most favorite coffee brand of feminists? Taster's Choice!
A man walks into his bedroom where his wife is carrying a sheep under her arm and says, "This is the pig I've been fucking."
Wife says, "That's not a pig; that's a sheep, dumbass."
Husband says, "I was talking to the sheep."
What should I sell my dragon for?
Dragon these balls across yo face!
