Humor
What do you call a group of depressed kids?
Suicide squad.
First human comes.
Sans: That was pun intended.
I'm tired of seeing Mal's joke the second I open up the site. It's not a bad joke. I'm just tired of it.
So the horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?"
UwU
Why did the students eat their homework?
Because the teacher said it would be a piece of cake! 🎂😂
I made a joke about putting babies in the microwave and got told I was a disgusting person.
So from now on I’ll only make baby in the deep fryer jokes.
What's the difference between a bridge and a burrito?
I can't jump off a burrito.
What do cats have for breakfast?
Mice crispies.
What's the difference between Autism and Gender?
Autism is on a spectrum.
1. What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?
A dino-snore!
2. What is fast, loud, and crunchy?
A rocket chip!
3. Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?
Because she was stuffed!
4. What has ears but cannot hear?
A cornfield!
5. What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between us, something smells!
Beneath this monumental stone Lise, 80 pounds of skin and bone.
What’s worse than running with scissors?
Scissoring with the runs!
Roses are red... blood is too... I wonder how blood would look on you.
What time does the man go to the bank?
8 AM.
In English class, the teacher says, "Kids, you need to say the alphabet. Okay, Sally, you first." Sally says, "Okay, a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z." The teacher says, "Good job, Sally." Then the teacher called on four other students who got it right. Then the teacher called on Little Johnny. The teacher says, "Little Johnny, say the alphabet." Little Johnny says, "b c e f g h i j k l m n o p s v w x y z." The teacher says, "No, Johnny, that's not right." Johnny says, "Oh, I forgot, u r a q t." The teacher says, "No, still not right, and thank you." Johnny says, "Oh, I’ll give you the d later." The class laughs and the teacher says, "Go to the office now."
Can February march? -- No, but April may.
It's funny how Stephen Hawking sounds like Stephen walking or Stephen talking, but he can't do any of those things.
LAMO.
How do you embarrass an archaeologist? You give him a tampon and ask what period it's from.
Have you ever been eight before?
You were between 7 and 9.