Humor
When I get jokes. They aren't f****** restarted like you.
My sister.
What is it called when you have four white people in the car?
Clear windows.
What is the name of Hellen Keller's dog?
NYAHHH NYAHH NYUUUU NYAAHHHAADUUDU!
Me when people ask how old my girlfriends are:
"There's 2, there're 4, there're 6, there're 8."
Yo mama so fat that when she went to the fatty competition, they said no because they didn't want professionals.
Well, I saw a stripper, and she was trying out bread.
What do ninjas and depressed people have in common?
They're always cutting.
It's not a joke.
Name what guns are used for. {wrong answers only?}
What do Shrek and onions have in common?
*LAYERS*
Why do orphans become criminals?
To know what it’s like to be wanted.
If your nose runs and your feet smell, you are probably built upside down.
"Left, center, right, and apolitical, also skeptical, are also a joke."
My mom once ate a full giant cheesecake, and we were walking to our flight back home, and she had to sh*t.
We were walking to the bathroom, and she full on [did it] in front of the carousel. She had a lump of poo in her pants... True story, haha!
Some guy came to me and said, "I'm your dad's friend. He asked me to pick you up."
*Laughing freaking hard* and told him, "Did you dig the grave?"
What’s an orphan’s least favorite event? Their birthday!
What do you call an angry nut with a mustache?
A pistachio.
Can I ask you a question? Nut now!
A friend asked what an acorn is.
I said, “In a nutshell, it’s an oak tree.”
What did one nut say to the other?
“Cashew later.”