Humor
My wife asked me the other day where I got so much candy. I said, "I always have a few Twix up my sleeve."
What comes after 69?
Period.
What’s a rapper’s favorite martial art?
Punchlines.
The definition of the word "Disappointment" means running into a wall with a boner and breaking your nose.
Why [does] a tranny say "Have a good day" to a Jew?
He [is a] goy.
Q. What's the difference between pizza and an emo?
A. The pizza doesn't cut itself.
If a mentally challenged person shows up late,
Is it ok to call him tardy?
A panic-stricken man explained to his doctor, “You have to help me, I think I’m shrinking.”
“Now settle down,” the doctor calmly told him. “You'll just have to learn to be a little patient.”
What did the man say in the morning after beating up his wife?
"I woke up Chris Breezy."
How many emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they just like hanging in the dark.
What words black people can't say? "Thanks for your help, officer."
What's the difference between a salad and a baby? People don't usually scream when you shake around a salad.
How do you break up a fight between two gay men?
Say, "Can you get straight to the point?"
Ever since we started quarantining, I've only been telling inside jokes.
Teddy’s got a man in his Fanny.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
I don't know, but the Twin Towers do.
What's the hardest part about making vegetable stew?
Trying to get the wheelchair to fit into the pot.
The first ever joke:
https://worstjokesever.com/jokes/52b8feb0514efb2cbf8ca375/what-is-the-second-hardest-thing-in-the-morning?
Yo momma so fat, I took a photo of her last year and it's still printing.
Why are Elmo’s jealous of lights?
Lights are hanging.