Basement

Basement Jokes

Pedophile

What are the differences between a preschool and a pedophile's basement? Little kids leave preschool.

Jesus

What's the difference between Jesus and the baby I have in my basement?

Jesus died a virgin.

Body Count

A man is with his friend in a bar.

The friend, out of the blue, asks, "Hey, what's your body count?"

Nervous, the man looks away.

The friend then says, "I'm talking about sex."

The man then turns back and mumbles, "Oh... I thought you saw inside the basement..."

"Wait, wha..."

"What?"

Child

Children are like a box of Christmas decorations. I keep them in my basement until it’s time to hang them from a tree.

Child

How many dead children does it take to change the light in a basement?

More than ten, apparently.

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  • Ass

    What's the difference between my ass and the toddlers in my uncle's basement?

    My ass doesn't cry when he sticks it in late at night.

    Difference

    What's the difference between a Lambo and 200 children in my basement? One screams; the children don't.

    Priest

    What's a similarity between The Ark of the Covenant, The Holy Grail and a bunch of 12 year olds?

    They are all locked in the Priest's basement.

    Susie

    Why did Susie get cut from the soccer team? She has no legs!

    Who broke into my house by kicking down my door? Not Susie... But she still is in my basement, since she can't run!

    Oxygen

    What's the difference between oxygen and children? I don't have oxygen in my basement.

    Player

    Among Us players after saying "Self Report!" to the police officers who find a dead body in their basement.

    Kid

    How many kids does it take to change a lightbulb?

    Apparently not 27. Because my basement's still dark...

    Kid

    Roses are red, violets are blue, there are kids in my basement, you'll be there soon.

    Lightbulb

    How many dead prostitutes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

    More than three because the basement is still dark!

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  • Grandad

    Before my grandad died, he whispered to me, "Is your uncle still in the basement?" I said he has died. Oh, my grandad said, "I will lock him in heaven's basement."

    Orphan

    God, those orphans were putting up such a fight, I had to lock 'em in the basement.