Humor

Your hairline is so far back, when your forehead was playing tag, your hairline ran away real far.

Mary: If you born pikin (child) inside shop, wetin you go call that pikin (child)?

Mike: The pikin (child) go bear Bishop.

Is there a mirror in your pants? Because I see myself in them.

How did Capetian Hook kill himself? He wiped his butt with the wrong hand.

What do you call a nerd in space?

A space nerd.

What's the difference between a speed bump and a road kill?

About 40 mph.

Dad: I heard an actor killed themselves with a knife. It was Reese something.

Mom: Witherspoon.

Dad: No, with a knife, you dummy!

What does a storm cloud wear under his raincoat? Thunderwear.

Hi, I’m Joe.

How to harass? Say it out loud but slowly. Split that word into, and it sounds like "her ass."

Why does a blind man still have eyes?

So he can see that he can't see.

What does a blind man crying and an unplugged TV have in common?

Nothing can be seen when they get turned on.

Why is the blind kid popular?

He can't see the middle fingers.

What do the Twin Towers and a bad joke have in common? They never land well.

Your mom's so fat, when she stands on the scale, it says, "To be continued..."

Did you hear about the guy who dipped his balls in glitter? Pretty nuts!

What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?

Frostbite.

Lessi

Which country can swim?

Finland. Get it? Fin Land?

What's the smartest insect? A spelling bee!