Humor
What’s the difference between jelly and jam?
You can’t “jelly” it in her ass.
If LEO were a spice, she’d be flour... BLAND and FORGETTABLE!
What do ninjas and depressed people have in common?
They're always cutting.
It's not a joke.
What do you call a paraplegic cannibal?
"Dine and dash."
Where do terrorists go for food? The Allah snack bar.
When I get jokes. They aren't f****** restarted like you.
My sister.
My girlfriend told me she’s sad because she’s put on a bit of weight.
I told her to keep her chins up.
If you were a room in my house, I’d make you the basement.
So I could put kids inside you.
What’s the difference between a Catholic and a rabbit?
One has kids to protect from predators, and the other has kids for predators.
Explain Bear teaches us that explaining the joke makes it a billion times funnier.
Q. Why aren't midget jokes funny?
A. They always seem to punch down.
Most of these jokes are plane, but they still hit.
Knock knock. Who's there? It's the police... Who? It's the police, let me in so I can get some donuts!
Friend A: Do you like Wendy's?
Friend B: Yes, why?
Friend A: Wen-dez nuts in your mouth!
Yo mama so ugly that when Hello Kitty saw her, she said, "Goodbye!"
Why did God steal a rib from Adam and make a woman out of it?
God wanted to show that nothing sensible can come of stealing!
What is it called when you have four white people in the car?
Clear windows.
Yo mama so fat that when she went to the fatty competition, they said no because they didn't want professionals.
Ever had that feeling that suicidal people are a big contributor to the razor blade industry?
Well, they aren't.
Why?
They aren't repeated customers.