Humor
Q. What monster plays the most April Fools' pranks?
A. Prankenstein.
An old teacher asked her student, "If I say, 'I am beautiful,' which tense is that?" The student replied, "It is obviously past."
When your mum sold you on eBay for £2 pound for girls stripper.
What planet has a butt? Uranus!
My father left me at a young age.
He was only five.
A lot of people ask why I only make jokes about Paul Walker and no one else.
Because they didn’t have as big of an impact as him.
What is more dangerous than Russian gangs?
Russian malls.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
UR MUM!
Prankster pranks.
Fake lobster in the toilet. 8:00 a.m.
Prank phone calls. 9:00 a.m.
How do you blindfold a woman?
Put a windshield in front of them.
Explain Bear teaches us that explaining the joke makes it a billion times funnier.
What do you call the wife of a hippie? A Mississippi.
What do you call a person with a hole in their shoe?
A Christian.
what do you call a lazy gay?
someone who comes straight out of the closet, and goes straight to the couch.
Why do y’all do this?
Because you're lonely.
What's got 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves! Nah, just kidding... He still hasn't unwrapped his present.
What's the difference between a gun and my will to live? None, they are both absent.
What’s the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
A missionary went to visit an orphanage in Thailand. After looking around, he asked the manager, "Why do these kids have numbers instead of names on their shirts? And why are some of them the same?"
The manager smiled and said, "Those are price tags."
What do you call an autistic person with a driver's license?
A LETHAL WEAPON!