Humor
(1968) - Hellen Keller died, didn’t you hear?
No?
Well neither did she.
A dog walked into a tavern and said, "I can't see a thing. I'll open this one."
The humor of it is probably related to the Sumer way of life (and has been lost), but the words remain.
If Opposition Expunged thought he was an animal, what would Thearchy be called?
Therianarchy!
Any 8 year old: Sus!
Me: Jake, we're at a funeral!
Me and my friend roasting each other.
Him: Your dad dropped you on purpose, but my dad dropped me by accident.
Me: But after dropping you, he never picked you up.
Memes
Totally real face reveal
"Confucius say, man who has mosquito on balls truly understands nonviolence."
Q. What do filicide jokes and filicide victims have in common?
A. They never get old.
I got evicted from the hospital today for telling all the patients to stay positive!
What a negative effect!
Memories: I have ligma.
Ligma what?
Ligma balls.
Dad: Johnny, Johnny?
Johnny: Yes, Papa.
Dad: Getting women?
Johnny: Yes, Papa.
Dad: Telling lies?
Johnny: No, Papa.
Dad: Well, you're 100% lying because you get NO WOMEN!
What do you call a dad without a dad joke?
Dead.
Hey baba girl, I have balls, you know.
"Your mother has been with us for 20 years," said John. "Isn’t it time she got a place of her own?"
"My mother?" replied Helen. "I thought she was your mother."
I photo bombed someone's selfie, and then they yelled, "Why would you do that? I was trying to take a family photo!"
What's the hardest part about making vegetable stew?
Trying to get the wheelchair to fit into the pot.
Student: It's hot in here.
Teacher: That's because I'm in here.
I saw an orphan on the road. I asked him if he's an orphan. The kid says, "Yeah, what gave it away?"
I say, "Your parents."
Sister: Wanna know the difference between your singing and your flute playing?
Me: Sure... (Expecting a completely different response than what I get.)
Sister: Nvm, they have no difference.
Me: *Confused*
Sister: They're both horrible.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Joem.
Joem who?
Joem Ama.
Your mum is so fat that when she walked past the television, I missed a whole series of SpongeBob.