Humor

Why did Uranus say gross? Because he saw Uranus.

Your forehead is deeper than the ocean.

I was going to tell a joke I made up about my vacuum cleaner, but it sucks.

Why are life and a penis alike?

Women make both of them hard.

A dark sense of humor is like a pair of functioning legs. Not everybody has one.

Me: You have terrible jokes.

Mum: Shows me a mirror.

A proud father has six children. He always calls his wife "mother of six" to her displeasure.

One night at a party, he yells across the room, "Mom of six, we're going now." She replies: "I'll be right there, father of four."

When a person in a wheelchair says, "You've never taken a step in my shoes," and you say, "To be honest, you haven't either."

What do you call a person that is both Black and Hispanic and was born on Wednesday? Miérkoolaids.

Q: Where do you bury the people killed in 9/11?

A: It's already done for you.

Yo hairline so long, it makes you look like Mr. Clean.

I tried to tell an Armenian genocide joke in Istanbul.

Nobody got it.

I was sitting in class, and the teacher said he wasn't disappointed in me and my best friend, but not so much in me.

I looked at my best friend and said, "I'm a disappointment to the teacher, too."

What’s the difference between Swifties and rap fans?

One rap fan has a higher IQ than every Swiftie combined.

What is the name of Hellen Keller's dog?

NYAHHH NYAHH NYUUUU NYAAHHHAADUUDU!

Teddy’s got a man in his Fanny.

Osama Bin Laden was trying to give me relationship advice.

Probably wasn't the best time to say "OK Boomer."

My girlfriend got COVID.

This is the perfect time to propose to her. She might just say yes because of the lack of taste.

If you were a room in my house, I’d make you the basement.

So I could put kids inside you.

Time flies by, doesn’t it?

But the plane in 9/11 didn’t.