Punishment jokes

You can understand depression if you are still in school and get bullied by bullies, punished by teachers, and scolded by parents for being that quiet kid who says nothing.

One day, a priest and a nun went to play golf together.

In the first shot, the priest missed his shot and said, "Fuck, I missed it!"

The nun replied, "Hey, you should not curse."

In the second shot, the priest missed his shot again and said, "Fuck, I missed again!"

The nun replied, "Hey, stop swearing, or else God will punish you."

In the next shot, the priest missed once again. He shouted, "Fuck this, this game is bullshit!"

The nun replied, "Enough! God is definitely going to punish you anytime now."

Suddenly, a thunderbolt struck the nun and killed her. The clouds separated from the sky, and there was a voice in the sky saying, "Oh, fuck, I missed!"

What's the difference between a pizza delivery guy and a cop?

Pizza guys get punished for not doing their jobs properly.

Why can't orphans open a website?

Because they don't have a home page.

What did the parents rearrange the furniture to punish a child?

Guess he was a stupid blind motherfucker 🖕 that didn't even know how to use a cane to figure out where they put the furniture.

People were deciding how to punish a terrible criminal, and one man came up with a great idea.

He sat him in a movie theater with no food at all and made him watch a 12 hour documentary about the country Hungary.

If a dog is white with black spots, then it is 90% great and 10% guilty because it half way starts crimes and is a mistake to the world and is punished by the white dogs that are full white and not mixed colors.

In the morning, I become a cereal killer. Stepped on a corn flake.

Then there was the run-in with a pair of orphaned Rice Krispies. Snap. Crackle. No pop.

I've been taken into custody as a cereal offender and am about to be put on trial in Food Court. I fully expect them to sentence me to Life.

One time, I worked at 3 jobs at the same time and my boss said it was illegal.

It got too out of hand and I got spanked.

My friend said, "Let's have a sleepover."

Little did I know it was just at prison.

Hey, my sister said you're Mattick, so I decided to swim with her and she threw a ball at me, so I went to my dad and she said, "Why did you tell dad?" She was crying because I’m not getting a car seat.

What punishment are teachers unable to do to orphans?

Call their parents.

What do you say to someone being cremated? You urned it!

The extra detention didn't do much, but the extra chromosome definitely did.

How did the man in prison escape?

He drew a bum on the wall and slid through the crack.

Lynching is just another word for "hanging around."

How did the blind boy's parents punish him?

Rearrange the furniture.

Why can’t you yell at a kid?

Because the cops are after you.

When's the best day to get the chair? Fry-day.

There was an exam music quiz question about Gary Glitter. Now, if there's anyone you don't want to associate with the phrase "shh, turn over, you've got an hour," it's him.

Shit, my bad. I should leave him alone, he just wants to settle down and have kids.