Punishment jokes
You can understand depression if you are still in school and get bullied by bullies, punished by teachers, and scolded by parents for being that quiet kid who says nothing.
What's the difference between a pizza delivery guy and a cop?
Pizza guys get punished for not doing their jobs properly.
One day, a priest and a nun went to play golf together.
In the first shot, the priest missed his shot and said, "Fuck, I missed it!"
The nun replied, "Hey, you should not curse."
In the second shot, the priest missed his shot again and said, "Fuck, I missed again!"
The nun replied, "Hey, stop swearing, or else God will punish you."
In the next shot, the priest missed once again. He shouted, "Fuck this, this game is bullshit!"
The nun replied, "Enough! God is definitely going to punish you anytime now."
Suddenly, a thunderbolt struck the nun and killed her. The clouds separated from the sky, and there was a voice in the sky saying, "Oh, fuck, I missed!"
People were deciding how to punish a terrible criminal, and one man came up with a great idea.
He sat him in a movie theater with no food at all and made him watch a 12 hour documentary about the country Hungary.
If a dog is white with black spots, then it is 90% great and 10% guilty because it half way starts crimes and is a mistake to the world and is punished by the white dogs that are full white and not mixed colors.
Worst punishment of all
What punishment are teachers unable to do to orphans?
Call their parents.
Ever wondered how Jesus got rid of the cross that killed him?
Burned it in a hellish fire to make some firewood.
The police gave you a fine for not fixing your ugly hairline.
Wayne Couzens, the police officer who killed Sarah Everard, has been complaining about receiving a whole life tariff for her murder...
I think he should count his blessings. He could have had it worse...
He could have married her!
When's the best day to get the chair? Fry-day.
POV: Wine Taster in hell.
I was sitting with the best wine ever made on the table in front of me. This silhouette begins to speak, "You have risen to be the most superb Wine Taster on Earth. Then you got run over by a truck hauling freshly made wine to a warehouse. Your crimes are as follows: you left your high school prom date with another man after you got her pregnant, you let your mother believe that the cat ran away after you drowned it in the pool, and you never got married. How do you plead?"
The man looked at the silhouette like it was a purple rabbit.
"Guilty," said the man, "but if you would be so kind would you at least tell me what the wine in front of me tastes and smells like? I will take any punishment you deem fit."
"Very well," said the silhouette, "but you will regret that request."
Out of the shadows comes a boy only looking 19 years old. The boy says, "I will you taster today. I am confident about my sense of taste." The boy takes the first bottle and opens it, pours it into a wine glass, and swirls it around. He then takes a sniff and begins to drink, to the Wine Taster he says, "Mmmm, taste like chicken."
Why can’t you yell at a kid?
Because the cops are after you.
Q: How do you punish a blind person?
A: Give them a gun and tell them it's a hairdryer.
The extra detention didn't do much, but the extra chromosome definitely did.
How did the man in prison escape?
He drew a bum on the wall and slid through the crack.
Why can't orphans open a website?
Because they don't have a home page.
I got suspended for telling the emo kid to hang in there.
What do you say to someone being cremated? You urned it!
Karma is like rape.
What goes around comes around, like a dead rape victim in a whirlpool.
How do you punish a blind kid?
Move to a new house.