Punishment Jokes

What's the difference between a pizza delivery guy and a cop?

Pizza guys get punished for not doing their jobs properly.

You can understand depression if you are still in school and get bullied by bullies, punished by teachers and scolded by parents for being that quiet kid who says nothing.

What punishment are teachers unable to do to orphan?

Call their parents

People were deciding how to punish a terrible criminal and one man came up with a great idea. He sat him in a movie theater with no food at all and made him watch a 12 hour documentary about the country Hungary

How did the blind boy's parents punish him Rearrange the furniture

POV: Wine Taster in hell

I was, sitting with the best wine ever made on the table in front of me. this silhouette begins to speak, "you have risen to be the most superb Wine Taster on Earth. then you got run over by a truck hauling freshly made wine to a warehouse. your crimes are as follows: you left your high school prom date with another man after you got her pregnant, you let your mother believe that the cat ran away after you drowned it in the pool, and you never got married. how do you plead?" the man looked at the silhouette like it was a purple rabbit. "guilty," said the man, "but if you would be so kind would you at least tell me what the wine in front of me tastes and smells like I will take any punishment you deem fit." very well," said the silhouette, "but you will regret that request." out of the shadows comes a boy only looking 19 years old. the boy says "I will you taster today. I am confident about my sense of taste." the boy takes the first bottle and opens it, pours it into a wine glass, and swirls it around. He then takes a sniff and begins to drink, to the Wine Taster he says, "Mmmm, Taste like chicken."

I got detention yesterday because I told the emo kid to "Hang in there."

Suicide is illegal because it's a crime to destroy government property.

What did Stevie Wonder's mom do to punish him as a child? She rearranged all the furniture.

If being ugly was a crime, you would get a life sentence.

my mom said take out the trash and i said okay. the next day she asked "where is your sister", and i said in line to get crushed.

What makes suicide illegal?

Getting caught.

I'd hit you, but I don't want to go to jail for animal abuse.

One day a father and a daughter were at a park. The daughter accidentally kills a butterfly. The father says, "Just because you killed the butterfly, you don't get butter for a week." They were there the next day, and the daughter kills a cockroach. The father laughs and says, "Nice try."

Some people think prison is one word, but to robbers, it's a whole sentence.

I got banned from the library from putting a book about woman's rights in the fantasy section.

One day I came home from school and said to my dad 'I got expelled from school today' he said ' how' I said I threw my book at the teacher' he asked why' I told him we were doing an anti-bullying program and my teacher said words can't hurt me so I threw my dictionary at her. '