Humor

What do you call an autistic kid with a rocket ship? A cocker.

A married woman gets hit by a truck, and the cops tell her husband:

Cop: "Sir, it looks like your wife's been hit by a truck."

Man: "I know, but she has a great personality."

Did you?

"Knock knock."

Orphan: "Who's there?"

"Not your parents."

I used to have a skeleton of jokes, now my supply is bone dry. Guess I wasn’t that femurous.

Why can a gay man give a better brojob to a heterosexual man than another heterosexual man?

Experience.

For boys, life is a lot like a penis: simple, soft, straight, relaxed, and hanging freely......... then a woman makes it really hard.😩😉😏

Why did the Polish Roman Catholic priest remove zippers from the pants of gay men in the LGBT community?

Because he lost his key to his house and he was desperate to get back inside of his house and he thought that one of keys to their zippers would be able to unlock the door of his house.

Last time I got a piece of ass was when my finger went through the toilet paper.

When two wheelchairs hit each other, is it a fender bender?

I went to Pen Island for vacation this summer. There were a lot of bones.

What's the difference between anal and oral sex? An and Or!

What do you call an Asian that was born too early?

Wong Tai Ming.

It was Christmas time for Little Johnny. He was going to make some cookies and milk for Santa until he heard shaking and moaning from his mother's bedroom.

He thinks, "Meh, Dad's probably back from the grocery store."

But 2 seconds later, he heard a "Ho Ho Ho Oh YEAH!" and then a slap. He opens the door. He finds Santa riding on his 19-year-old mom. He asks, "Santa, when did you get here and WHAT are you doing?"

Santa replied, "Your mother asked for her 'milk jar' to be filled, and that's what I am doing."

Johnny says, "Oh. But, Mom, you told me Dad was here, well where is he?"

(Santa winks at you)

Kid: What is between mom's legs?

Dad: Paradise.

Kid: What's between your legs?

Dad: The key to paradise.

Kid: Well, you better change the lock, the neighbor has the key to.

How ISS greets their friend.

"You the BOMB!"

How do you measure the circumference of Uranus?

By the rings around it.

Me: I look up to you.

Friend: Wow, thanks!

Me: But in general cuz your so tall.

9/11 jokes are that deadly not even the towers could hold themselves up.

What did the officer tell the lioness after she said she was a dog?

Oooooooooh girl, you lion!