Humor
Attended my boss's funeral to pay my respects. On my way out, I leaned over his casket and whispered lightly, "Well, look who's thinking outside the box now."
It's always the little things that make us laugh.
Your mom gave me a three course meal last night:
Starters - Foreplay
Main course - Reverse Cowgirl
Dessert - Blowy
Won't forget the side drink of an individual on individual bukkake.
What’s the difference between Swifties and rap fans?
One rap fan has a higher IQ than every Swiftie combined.
Why do cemeteries have fences?
Because people are dying to be there.
Notice on a shoe repair shop: I’ll heel you, I’ll save your sole, I’ll even gladly dye for you.
If LEO were a spice, she’d be flour... BLAND and FORGETTABLE!
LEO is the reason the gene pool needs a lifeguard.
What did Daveon say when he saw a spider? "I'm Dave-on with this!"
BlessedBrian must have been born on April Fools’ Day... because he’s a joke every day of the year.
BlessedBrian’s mom’s birth certificate is a COLLECTOR’S ITEM.
How do rappers like their coffee? With a lot of flow creamer.
Why was the rapper afraid of elevators?
He was worried about getting stuck between the bars.
Why did the rapper go to the optometrist?
Because he needed to improve his RAP VISION.
A Russian walked into a bar... Unlucky for him I guess, in Soviet Russia, you don’t walk into bars. Bars walk into you.
My wife wanted something that went from 0 to 80 very quickly.
So I brought her a new bathroom scale.
What happens when you have dry elbows at work?
You don't have any elbow grease to put into it.
Son: Dad, where are you?
Dad: Getting another one.
Son: Getting what?
Dad: Dad.
One spelling mistake can completely ruin your marriage.
I accidentally texted my wife, "I’m having a wonderful time. I wish you were her."
Humor is like skin; the darker it gets, the less people like it.