Humor
What do you call a blond with half a brain? Gifted.
My grandmother made her passage on a boat. The thing wasn’t the only thing that went down.
Me: You have terrible jokes.
Mum: Shows me a mirror.
My girlfriend told me she’s sad because she’s put on a bit of weight.
I told her to keep her chins up.
What is the name of Hellen Keller's dog?
NYAHHH NYAHH NYUUUU NYAAHHHAADUUDU!
Memes
What do u call a Muslim praying: Allahu akbar.
You know what's the difference between my basement and Chick-fil-A?
A lot of things.
It's not a joke.
What do you call a paraplegic cannibal?
"Dine and dash."
Where do terrorists go for food? The Allah snack bar.
Yo hairline so long, it makes you look like Mr. Clean.
Yo mama is so ugly, her pictures hang themselves.
What does WTC stand for?
"What Trade Centre?"
Why is jelly laughing a lot?
Because his friend goes nuts!
Tell the person next to you to spell "me." When they do, say, "You forgot the D." They should respond with, "There is no D in ME." You say, "Not yet." If this does not go as planned, well, then you are fucked for life.
What do ninjas and depressed people have in common?
They're always cutting.
Yo mama so ugly that when Hello Kitty saw her, she said, "Goodbye!"
One day my kid with no arms came up to me and said, "Mom, what's dark humor?" I thought about it, then said, "Go wave to that blind person." He just looked at me, confused, but angry.
Teddy’s got a man in his Fanny.
If you were a room in my house, I’d make you the basement.
So I could put kids inside you.