Humor

"Left, center, right, and apolitical, also skeptical, are also a joke."

Name what guns are used for. {wrong answers only?}

I'd make a joke about epilepsy, but the computer started flashing.

What makes jokes because it's lonely and a complete and utter loser?

This guy, yep, this guy right here.

Why do people enjoy orphan jokes! Lol... I LOVE IT >:)

My mom once ate a full giant cheesecake, and we were walking to our flight back home, and she had to sh*t.

We were walking to the bathroom, and she full on [did it] in front of the carousel. She had a lump of poo in her pants... True story, haha!

What do Shrek and onions have in common?

*LAYERS*

I don't need a girlfriend, 'cause I got my cousin, bro.

What do you call a blind kid with an eye patch and no arms?

Names.

If your nose runs and your feet smell, you are probably built upside down.

Fineman, Einstein, and Schrodinger walked into a bar.

Fineman says, "It appears we're inside a joke."

Einstein says, "But only to an observer who saw us walk in simultaneously."

To which Schrodinger says, "If someone's looking through the window, I'm leaving!"

Why is it easy to weigh fish?

Because they have their own scales! 😂😂😂😂😂😂

Why did Jeffrey get blood on his shoe?

Because this teen just started her period!

Me: I need a good roast.

My friend: Take me!

Why do orphans become criminals?

To know what it’s like to be wanted.

This is a short joke! This short joke is long. Nice joke, Mr. Steve.

AB💿

Innit.

Went to the doctor, told him I've been having dreams, first about a wigwam, then about a teepee. He said I was too tense.

Doctor: You should stop masturbating.

Me: Doc, I'm almost done.