Why are orphans bad at poker?
They don't know what a full house is.
Marriage is like a deck of cards.
In the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond.
By the end, you wish you had a club and a spade.
If you die a virgin, then where does your v-card go? Does it go with you to the grave, or does your mortician take it from you?
Two friends who've been bros for forever see each other in Wal-Mart in the card section. The first guy asks what he got his wife for her birthday. The second guy tells him he got her a Maserati and a card. The first guy tells him he got his wife a card and a dildo for her birthday.
The second guy asks why he got his wife a dildo for her birthday. The first guy says, "If she doesn't like the card I got her, then she can go fuck herself!"
Someone glued my deck of cards together. I don't know how to deal with it.
Why did the ACLU blocked 🚫 📱 the cellphone number of ☺ of a christain nationalist minister because the christain nationalist had a virus on his cellphone 📱 and keep calling the ACLU because he wanted to join the ACLU because he wanted to become a card carrying member of the ACLU
My friend can't afford to pay his water bill anymore, so I sent him a card, "Get well soon."
Why do people not play uno with Mexicans... because they are always stealing the green cards
Why can't you play Uno with Mexicans? They steal all the green cards.
A elderly woman and an elderly man were at a retirement home The man was shuffling a deck of cards for a card game The man asks "Is it your first time?" The woman replies "It's been a while since a man has asked me that."
So I went to my friends funeral today, As we were all leaving a kid put a get well soon card next to my friends grave ‘poor kid’
A couple of cows were smoking a joint and playing cards... The steaks were pretty high
My bank loves me.
They told me my credit card balance is outstanding.
That poor kid, he was fine until I bought him a mothers day card for his mum. The second he saw it he burst out crying...
One day little Johnny woke up to get a drink of water. He passed by his parent's bedroom and noticed sheets bouncing. He asked his dad what he was doing he said playing cards, Little Johnny said who is your partner? dad said his mom on his way up he passed by his sisters room and noticed sheets Bouncing around and asked what she’s doing she said playing cards with my boyfriend, Paul. Next day dad came to ask Johnny a questions The father noticed Johnny was still in bed and asked him what he was doing. He saw sheet bouncing and asked Johnny what he was doing he said playing cards. His dad asked him who is his partner was little johnny said you don’t need a partner if you have a good hand
I kicked into someone Ball.Now i got a red Card
Why do you never play a game of cards in the jungle? Because there are cheetahs!
I tried to adopt an orphan. The card got declined harder than the child did.
My credit card is more declined than the love from my dad.
Why don’t they play poker in the jungle?
Too many cheetahs.
