Humor
How did the skeleton know it was gonna rain?
If you said he felt it in his bones, you're wrong. He watched the weather forecast.
A blind man once told me he smokes a lot because he has nothing to look forward to. Well, let's just say that I see his point.
What's the definition of rude?
Sticking a blind man in a corner and telling him to find his wife.
Q: What do you call a skeleton that goes to school but doesn't do any work?
A: Lazy bones.
My wife is an optimist. Our first night together, she handed me a Magnum XL condom. I didn’t know what to do, so I made her a balloon animal 🎈🦒.
People need to stop taking life so seriously. After all, no one gets out alive!
Why did the kid bring a ladder to school?
So he could get into high school.
Boy: Can I go to the bathroom?
Teacher: If you sing the ABCs.
Boy: ABCDEFGHIJKLMNORSTUVWXYZ!
Teacher: Where’s the P?
Boy: In my pants! Lol. That’s all mates! Have a good day! (Or night)
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Oliver.
Oliver who?
Oliver jokes don’t exist! 👹
Did you know the Bible has a passage about killing babies by smashing them against rocks?
That's probably because microwaves hadn't been invented yet.
I have a fat ass.
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R.I.P. Queen Elizabeth II. 1926-2022.
Lol, I have no life :)
What’s the difference between a kid with cancer and a dark humor joke?
They never get old.
What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
120 pounds.
Huh, I'm really pissed off. No matter how many jokes I make, no one likes them. 😭😭:'(:':😔😔😿💔💔👇👇:(
Deja-poo.
The sense or feeling you have dealt with this crap in the past.
How do you save your wife from drowning?
Take your foot off her neck.
What’s the difference between Juice WRLD and George Floyd?
Nothing, they both can’t breathe.
There is a Mexican, white guy, a Jew, and a Black man on top of the Empire State Building.
First, the Mexican and the Jew throw themselves off of the building saying, "This is for my people!"
Then the Black man is next up to jump and says, "This is for my people!"
And throws the White man off of the building.