Humor
What’s the difference between grandma getting ran over by a reindeer, and a poor kid’s parents getting ran over by military tractors?
When grandma got ran over by a reindeer, the kids actually gave a sh*t.
What's so bad about 9 divided by 11?
A Lew runs into a wall, what does he break? His Nose.
A Mexican runs into a wall, what does he break? His lawn mower.
What STD can you get from phone sex?
Hearing AIDS.
Why did the skeleton want a friend?
Because she was feeling bonely.
Memes
What has a heart but no organs?
A deck of cards!
What's worse than a bag of dead babies? One at the bottom is still wriggling.
If there was a quiz on midgets, here’s the Midget quiz and the questions that would be on it:
1. When midgets get high on any drug, do they get high or medium?
2. Do midgets come out the closet or the cabinet?
3. Are Midgets related to Snow White’s 7 Dwarfs?
4. Is a midget just a human without the mushroom in Mario?
5. Was this funny?
Q: Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
A: It did not want to get stuck in a crack.
I said I’m losing my mind. My friend said, “You didn’t have much to begin with.”
I should probably stop making jokes about bulimia. They just leave a bad taste in my mouth.
I told AI to talk dirty to me. It started describing my browser history.
If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.
Why tie when you can knot?
Ever had that feeling that suicidal people are a big contributor to the razor blade industry?
Well, they aren't.
Why?
They aren't repeated customers.
Well, I saw a stripper, and she was trying out bread.
Did you hear what happened to Lorainna Bobbit? She was in an accident on the Garden State Parkway. She told the State Police Officer, "That some dick cut her off."
Friend A: Do you like Wendy's?
Friend B: Yes, why?
Friend A: Wen-dez nuts in your mouth!
What site does a vegetable go to when he/she is stressed?
cornhub.com
What did Mickey Mouse say to Minnie Mouse: "I don't use condoms; I use my drawbridge."