Humor
Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, “Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?” The birch says he cannot tell, but just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling. The birch says, “Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?”
The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree and replies, “It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch, it is, however, the best piece of ash I have ever poked my pecker into.”
One man's pet is another man's dinner.
Got the George Floyd pack, this shit makin' it hard to breathe.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Control freak.
Con...
Ok, now you say, "Control freak who?"
The joke is you! 😂🤣😂🤣😂
A girl asked, "Can I have some nuts too?"
Boy: "Sure, what ones ;)"
Do you know what the "W" in Africa stands for? Water!
What is the best whey to make friends with an American boy, you bunch?
What did the woman do when the armed police officer raped her?
Freeze.
Why did Hitler's girlfriend break up with him? He Hit-ler.
What did the calculator say to the student?
You can always count on me.
How many dead prostitutes does it take to change a light bulb? Obviously not 8, because it's still dark in my basement.
Who said white people can't jump?
Look at the footage from 9/11.
Me: Want to hear a joke?
Friend: Sure.
Me: When my Mum and Dad said they loved me.
Friend: What's funny about that?
Me: Because the next day they disowned me.
My friend made this joke (so I’m going steal it). I’m surrounded by fat people, oh wait... it’s just one.
Why does the large dildo not have any friends?
He's a pain in the ass.
What's it called when a Black person makes a joke? A joke, you racist.
JK, dark humor.
What do you call it when a chameleon won't change colors?
A reptile dysfunction.
People in Africa have earth, fire, air, but never water.
What is the difference between a dead body and a Lamborghini?
I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.