What's the similarities between dark humor and cancer?
It's funnier when kids get it.
Humor
Why can't depressed people make depression jokes? Because they can't talk if they are dead.
Jokes are like your grandparents, old and dead.
Roast
You have such a big forehead it has a 6 pack on it!
Who said white people can't jump?
Look at the footage from 9/11.
Ok, so I have a joke for you, go look in the mirror and when you realize, come back to me and tell me.
Yo momma's so fat, when she skips a meal, the stock market drops.
A guy was dying after getting stabbed in a church. He said to the priest, "Please say a prayer for me," and the priest said, "I ain’t got nun left." Then he died.
People dream about having a lot of money, but the only thing you should be dreaming about is a hairline.
My favorite kind of face mask is the plastic bag.
I went to a disco at a seafood restaurant the other day...
... And pulled a mussel.
What is the difference between a guy with cancer and the Twin Towers?
Nothing, they both fell.
Whenever I make a 9/11 joke, it bombs.
What’s the similarity between my dick and my girlfriend?
I beat both of them.
What's an orphan's least favorite joke?
Dad jokes.
What do you call a Chinese boy throwing poo?
Yung Flung Dung.
BF: Babe, I have two questions.
GF: Ok, ask!
BF: Where have you been all my life?
GF: Aww, that's so sweet. And the second question?
BF: Can you please go back there?
Girls: OMG what color should I use, baby blue, light blue, or navy blue?
Boys: blue is blue.
Why do skeletons like having sex with short girls before eating?
They like to bone a petite.
Imagine you are getting eaten by an alligator. What do you do?
Stop imagining!
