Humor

I asked a person in a wheelchair if they wanted to fight. All I had to do is say, "Stand up!"

Did you hear about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.

What do you call yourself when you fist a midget?

A ventriloquist.

With the sentence "Die in hell," you can buy shoes in Germany.

Hello Miss Chandia, here. I want to tell you guys a joke.

What do jokes serve for dessert?

Yo mama is like train tracks; she gets laid all around the country.

Actor 1: "I'm Michael with a b and I hate insects."

Actor 2: "Where's the b?"

Actor 1: "THERE'S A BEE???????????!!!!!!!!!!!????????!!!!!"

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Atch.

Atch who?

Sorry you are sneezing. Have you got a cold?

I drew a fist on a body, and then I drew a guy saying to him, "That dude's a knucklehead!"

What did Adam say when he saw Eve?

Answer: "Woman!"

Have you heard my cherry joke? It's pitiful.

What do you call a skeleton's omelet?

A bonelet.

I have a really good construction joke, but I’ll have to post it later because I’m still working on it.

I would tell you a joke about a slice of pizza, but it's really... cheesy. I donut think you will come up with a better pun than this.

Roses are red, violets are blue,

Get in the van, or I'll kill you.

I was going to tell you a joke about a pencil, but now it is pointless.

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese. Okay, I can't do this anymore.

What dinosaur loves music?

The velociRAPtor!

Papyrus: Nyhe heh heh! I got a swim suit! And it even says cool dude!

Sans: I guess now it says pool dude ;)

Papyrus: SSSSAAAAANNNNSSSS!

What does the bee say to the fly?

"Buzz off!"