Humor

What did the Twin Towers say to each other?

Sorry if that offended anyone.

“I guess we are going down together!”

The fourth month (symbolizing 41%) on the first day, transgenders mourn for the trans suicides.

That day is called "April Fool's."

How do you ground a person in a wheelchair?

Take off the wheels!

Q: Why are school shooting jokes funny?

A: Because they're intended for a young audience.

My mom was cooking dinner and asked me if I could get her a cutting board.

"No, I need you to take off your shirt and lay on the island so I can cut some chicken."

What is the best thing about being back?

Free bullets.

I could never fall out of a boat because I've already fallen for you.

I'm Asian and there is a saying that dogs are man's best friends. They are my best friends because they keep me from starving.

What makes 9/11 an inside job?

Someone started calling it 10/7.

I thought I saw a cool sticker on my office window, then I realized it was getting bigger and bigger.

What do you get when you die in Undertale and go to Temmie Village?

DeterMIENATION

Anyone want to eat me up? I'm in that kind of mood right now.

What is red, pink, yellow, green, orange?

A black woman dressed for church.

Why was Helen Keller so bad at driving?

Because she's a woman.

What did the Pokémon say after having sex?

"My ball was sore!"

"A llahu Aks into a bar..."

And it blows up!

Why did the telemarketer cross the road?

I don't know.

I don't know either, but I hope there was a car coming.

What does an Asian say when his car tires burst on the highway?

"Some Ting Wheely Wong!"

3 people having sex is a threesome, 2 is a twosome. So next time someone calls you 'HANDSOME', don't take it as a compliment!

So my dad tells these jokes and someone posted one on this website so...

How many Polish people does it take to change a light bulb? 101, one to hold the light bulb and 100 to spin the house.

There’s also one about a bowling ball in a bath tub he hasn’t told me that though. I'll research that.