Humor

Humor

Clock

    • Once I went to a museum and overheard someone speaking to an employee for information.

    "These are lying clocks; they tell how many lies a person tells."

    "Oh, cool."

    "This is Mother Teresa's clock; the clock hasn't moved because she never lied."

    "Makes sense."

    "This is Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands only moved twice, indicating he only lied twice."

    "Where's Trump's clock?"

    "Oh, we're using it as a ceiling fan."

    And then I burst out laughing 'cause it's so true.

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    • Lap

    • You need a good place to think? You can sit on my lap, and we’ll see the first thing that pops up!

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    • Humor memes

    Mama

    • Yo mama is so fat that when I was printing a picture of her last year, it's still printing.

    Incest

    • Incest is wincest. (That was above.)

    Fun for the whole family!

    Next of kin, count me in!

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    • Baby

    • What's red and sits in the corner?

    A baby chewing on a razor blade.

    What's green and sits in the corner?

    Same baby, one week later.

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    • Mime

    • I was anonymous with the previous jokes. I will now go by "I can fly! *falls*."

    What's black and white and red all over? A mime I hit with my car.

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    • Kid

    • Once there was this kid that wanted to shower with his dad, so his dad said yes. Then he asked, "What is that?" and his dad said it's a chow chow train.

    The next day, he wanted to shower with his mom, so she said yes. He asked again, "What is that?" and she said it was a tunnel with light.

    The same day, he wanted to sleep with them, and they said yes.

    In the middle of the night, he woke up and told his mom to turn on the light because the chow chow train is going in.

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