Why can’t blind people eat fish?

Because it’s sea food.

What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and the computer he’s hooked up to? – The computer runs.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

What did the boy with no hands get for his birthday?

I don’t know. He hasn’t opened it yet.

A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a door. And a staircase.

My girlfriend broke up with me because I stole her wheelchair.

But I knew she’d come crawling back to me.

What’s better than winning gold at the Paralympics?

Having legs.

Why did the blind man fall down the well?

He couldn’t see that well.

Why do people make fun of crippled people? Because they can’t stand up for themselves

How do you get a man with only one arm out of a tree?

Wave.

What do you do with epileptic lettuce? – You make a seizure salad.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder’s new piano?

Neither has he.

I can’t stand being in a wheelchair.

Why has Stephen hawking’s stopped playing hide and seek with his wife? Because she keeps using a metal detector

What do you call a dog with no legs? – Doesn’t matter what you call him, he’s not coming.

Why should you not make fun of a crippled person?

Because he can’t stand the jokes.

What did the leper say to the prostitute?

Keep the tip.

Why do midgets laugh when they run?

Because the grass tickles their balls.

Where can you find some of the world’s largest vegetables? – In an American nursing home.

What is black and screams?

Stevie Wonder answering the iron.