What did Stephen Hawking say when his computer crashed?

Nothing.

0

What did the boy with no hands get for his birthday?

I don’t know. He hasn’t opened it yet.

3

What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and the computer he’s hooked up to? – The computer runs.

1

A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a door. And a staircase.

5

What is black and screams?

Stevie Wonder answering the iron.

0

To the guy in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket… You can hide, but you can’t run.

0

My girlfriend broke up with me because I stole her wheelchair.

But I knew she’d come crawling back to me.

3

Why can’t blind people eat fish?

Because it’s sea food.

2

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

0

Why do midgets laugh when they run?

Because the grass tickles their balls.

0

How do you get a man with only one arm out of a tree?

Wave.

0

I met a guy in a wheelchair today. His face was battered and bruised. “What happened to your face?” I asked.

“I’m a Paralympian,” he replied.

“Boxing?”

“No, … hurdles.”

0

Have you seen Stevie Wonder’s new piano?

Neither has he.

2

What do you do with epileptic lettuce? – You make a seizure salad.

2

Why should you not make fun of a crippled person?

Because he can’t stand the jokes.

0

What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?

Virgin mobile.

0

Why has Stephen hawking’s stopped playing hide and seek with his wife? Because she keeps using a metal detector

0

What’s the similarity between women and car parking spaces? The good ones are always taken, and sometimes when nobody’s looking, you slip in the disabled one

1

What’s better than winning gold at the Paralympics?

Having legs.

0

What did the deaf man say to the blind man before he fell into the well?

Nothing.

0
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