Disabled jokes
To the guy in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket... You can hide, but you can't run.
What do you call a disabled kid with a gun?
Special forces.
What did the boy with no hands get for his birthday?
I don't know. He hasn't opened it yet.
How do parents punish their blind kids?
They re-arrange the furniture.
What do you call a disabled Asian?
Sum Ting Wong.
I'm doing a charity bungee jump for the local disabled.
It's called "spastics on elastics."
What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie talkie? He can’t walkie or talkie.
Why do midgets laugh when they run?
Because the grass tickles their balls.
My girlfriend broke up with me because I stole her wheelchair.
But I knew she'd come crawling back to me.
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and the computer he's hooked up to? The computer runs.
My son is so ungrateful. I bought him a trampoline and all he does is sit in his wheelchair and cry all day.
"What do we want?"
"HEARING AIDS!"
"When do we want them?"
"HEARING AIDS!"
I can't stand being in a wheelchair.
What did Stephen Hawking say when his computer crashed?
Nothing.
Why can't disabled people make jokes?
Well, it's called Stand-Up comedy, isn't it?
What do you call a dog with no legs? -- Doesn't matter what you call him, he's not coming.
I went up to the blind kid and punched him and said bet you didn't see that coming
What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?
Virgin mobile.
What do you call someone with Down Syndrome who smokes weed?
A baked potato.
This girl told me people call her ugly because she is disabled. I told her to stand up for herself.