To the guy in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket… You can hide, but you can’t run.

What do you call a disabled Asian?

Sum Ting Wong

Why can’t blind people eat fish?

Because it’s sea food.

What did Stephen Hawking say when his computer crashed?


My girlfriend broke up with me because I stole her wheelchair.

But I knew she’d come crawling back to me.

What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?

Virgin mobile.

What do you do with epileptic lettuce? – You make a seizure salad.

“What do we want?”


“When do we want them?”


What do you call a dog with no legs? – Doesn’t matter what you call him, he’s not coming.

Im doing a charity bungee jump for the local disabled. Its called spastics on elastics

What did the boy with no hands get for his birthday?

I don’t know. He hasn’t opened it yet.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

Why do midgets laugh when they run?

Because the grass tickles their balls.

Why is Stephen Hawking a bad role model? – He doesn’t stand for anything.

What is black and sits at the top of the stairs? – Steven Hawking after a house fire.

A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a door. And a staircase.

Why has Stephen hawking’s stopped playing hide and seek with his wife? Because she keeps using a metal detector

What do you call someone with Down Syndrome who smokes weed?

A baked potato.

What do you call disabled people in a hot tub? – Vegetable soup.

I can’t stand being in a wheelchair.