What did the boy with no hands get for his birthday?

I don’t know. He hasn’t opened it yet.

6

To the guy in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket… You can hide, but you can’t run.

3

A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a door. And a staircase.

6

Why can’t blind people eat fish?

Because it’s sea food.

2

My girlfriend broke up with me because I stole her wheelchair.

But I knew she’d come crawling back to me.

5

What did Stephen Hawking say when his computer crashed?

Nothing.

0

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

0

I met a guy in a wheelchair today. His face was battered and bruised. “What happened to your face?” I asked.

“I’m a Paralympian,” he replied.

“Boxing?”

“No, … hurdles.”

0

What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and the computer he’s hooked up to? – The computer runs.

1

A drunk man walked out of a bar and kept falling flat on his face. He wondered why this was until his wife spoke to him: Wife: why is your face all bloody? Husband: I was so drunk that I couldn’t stand up so I kept falling on my face! Wife: idiot. You left your wheelchair at the bar!

2

What’s better than winning gold at the Paralympics?

Having legs.

0

What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user? – Meals on wheels.

0

Why should you not make fun of a crippled person?

Because he can’t stand the jokes.

0

What is black and screams?

Stevie Wonder answering the iron.

0

What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?

Virgin mobile.

0

I just found out I’m colorblind. It came out of the yellow.

0

How do you get a man with only one arm out of a tree?

Wave.

0

What do you call disabled people in a hot tub? – Vegetable soup.

3

Why did the legless kid think he won a race?

Because everybody already left.

0

What do you call a dog with no legs? – Doesn’t matter what you call him, he’s not coming.

2
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