To the guy in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket… You can hide, but you can’t run.

Why do midgets laugh when they run?

Because the grass tickles their balls.

What do you call a disabled Asian?

Sum Ting Wong

What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?

Virgin mobile.

Why can’t blind people eat fish?

Because it’s sea food.

What do you do with epileptic lettuce? – You make a seizure salad.

I should be ashamed of myself for making all these jokes at the expense of the disabled! after all, they can’t even stand up for themselves

My girlfriend broke up with me because I stole her wheelchair.

But I knew she’d come crawling back to me.

Im doing a charity bungee jump for the local disabled. Its called spastics on elastics

“What do we want?”


“When do we want them?”


What did Stephen Hawking say when his computer crashed?


What do you call someone with Down Syndrome who smokes weed?

A baked potato.

What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and the computer he’s hooked up to? – The computer runs.

What did the boy with no hands get for his birthday?

I don’t know. He hasn’t opened it yet.

Why is Stephen Hawking a bad role model? – He doesn’t stand for anything.

I can’t stand being in a wheelchair.

What do you call a dog with no legs? – Doesn’t matter what you call him, he’s not coming.

A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a door. And a staircase.

What do you call disabled people in a hot tub? – Vegetable soup.

my sons so ungrateful. i bought him a trampoline and all he does is sit in his wheelchair and cry all day.