To the guy in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket… You can hide, but you can’t run.

Im doing a charity bungee jump for the local disabled. Its called spastics on elastics

What do you call a disabled Asian?

Sum Ting Wong

My girlfriend broke up with me because I stole her wheelchair.

But I knew she’d come crawling back to me.

What do you call a dog with no legs? – Doesn’t matter what you call him, he’s not coming.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?

Virgin mobile.

“What do we want?”


“When do we want them?”


A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a door. And a staircase.

Why is Stephen Hawking a bad role model? – He doesn’t stand for anything.

What do you call disabled people in a hot tub? – Vegetable soup.

Why has Stephen hawking’s stopped playing hide and seek with his wife? Because she keeps using a metal detector

What did the boy with no hands get for his birthday?

I don’t know. He hasn’t opened it yet.

What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and the computer he’s hooked up to? – The computer runs.

Why do midgets laugh when they run?

Because the grass tickles their balls.

What do you call a Chinese man with one leg? Tie won shu

What do you call someone with Down Syndrome who smokes weed?

A baked potato.

What is black and sits at the top of the stairs? – Steven Hawking after a house fire.

I can’t stand being in a wheelchair.

I met a guy in a wheelchair today. His face was battered and bruised. “What happened to your face?” I asked.

“I’m a Paralympian,” he replied.


“No, … hurdles.”