Open
What did the boy with no hands get for his birthday?
I don’t know. He hasn’t opened it yet.
Table
A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a door. And a staircase.
Blind
Why can’t blind people eat fish?
Because it’s sea food.
Cripple
Why do people make fun of crippled people? Because they can’t stand up for themselves
Wheelchair
My girlfriend broke up with me because I stole her wheelchair.
But I knew she’d come crawling back to me.
Man
Why did the one handed man cross the road?
To get to the second hand store!
Wheelchair
How can you tell when a cabbage is boiled? The wheelchair floats to the top
Fight
When deaf people fight, they let their fists do the talking.
Tickling
Why do midgets laugh when they run?
Because the grass tickles their balls.
Legs
What’s better than winning gold at the Paralympics?
Having legs.
Stephen Hawking
What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and the computer he’s hooked up to? – The computer runs.
Wheelchair
A drunk man walked out of a bar and kept falling flat on his face. He wondered why this was until his wife spoke to him: Wife: why is your face all bloody? Husband: I was so drunk that I couldn’t stand up so I kept falling on my face! Wife: idiot. You left your wheelchair at the bar!
Blind
Why did the blind man fall down the well?
He couldn’t see that well.
Lightbulb
How many Alzheimer’s patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
To get to there other side!
Salad
What do you do with epileptic lettuce? – You make a seizure salad.
Music
Have you seen Stevie Wonder’s new piano?
Neither has he.
Wheelchair
I can’t stand being in a wheelchair.
Down Syndrome
If a midget with down syndrome shows up late for work, is it okay to say she’s a little tardy?
Stephen Hawking
Why has Stephen hawking’s stopped playing hide and seek with his wife? Because she keeps using a metal detector
Cripple
Why should you not make fun of a crippled person?
Because he can’t stand the jokes.