Disabled jokes
How do parents punish their blind kids?
They re-arrange the furniture.
What do you call a disabled kid with a gun?
Special forces.
What do you call a bunch of Paki's jumping off a cliff?
Chocolate drops.
Kid: Mom, what's dark humor?
Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.
Kid: But, mom, I'm blind!
Mom: Exactly.
To the guy in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket... You can hide, but you can't run.
I'm doing a charity bungee jump for the local disabled.
It's called "spastics on elastics."
What do you call a disabled Asian?
Sum Ting Wong.
What did the boy with no hands get for his birthday?
I don't know. He hasn't opened it yet.
This girl told me people call her ugly because she is disabled. I told her to stand up for herself.
What do you call an Asian who can't hear?
Wha U Sai
My son is so ungrateful. I bought him a trampoline and all he does is sit in his wheelchair and cry all day.
Why do midgets laugh when they run?
Because the grass tickles their balls.
My girlfriend broke up with me because I stole her wheelchair.
But I knew she'd come crawling back to me.
What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie talkie? He can’t walkie or talkie.
Some say Stephen Hawking was a genius, but I never heard him say anything intelligent.
I can't stand being in a wheelchair.
What do you call a dog with no legs? -- Doesn't matter what you call him, he's not coming.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite meal?
His shoulder.
What do you do with epileptic lettuce? -- You make a seizure salad.
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and the computer he's hooked up to? The computer runs.