Disabled jokes

To the guy in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket... You can hide, but you can't run.

What did the boy with no hands get for his birthday?

I don't know. He hasn't opened it yet.

What do you call a disabled kid with a gun?

Special forces.

How do parents punish their blind kids?

They re-arrange the furniture.

What do you call a disabled Asian?

Sum Ting Wong.

I'm doing a charity bungee jump for the local disabled.

It's called "spastics on elastics."

My girlfriend broke up with me because I stole her wheelchair.

But I knew she'd come crawling back to me.

What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie talkie? He can’t walkie or talkie.

Why do midgets laugh when they run?

Because the grass tickles their balls.

What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and the computer he's hooked up to? The computer runs.

My son is so ungrateful. I bought him a trampoline and all he does is sit in his wheelchair and cry all day.

"What do we want?"

"HEARING AIDS!"

"When do we want them?"

"HEARING AIDS!"

Why can't disabled people make jokes?

Well, it's called Stand-Up comedy, isn't it?

I can't stand being in a wheelchair.

What do you call a dog with no legs? -- Doesn't matter what you call him, he's not coming.

What did Stephen Hawking say when his computer crashed?

Nothing.

What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?

Virgin mobile.

I went up to the blind kid and punched him and said bet you didn't see that coming

What do you call someone with Down Syndrome who smokes weed?

A baked potato.

What do you call an Asian who can't hear?

Wha U Sai