Humor
What did the Indian cheese say to the other cheese?
"Tu cheese badi hai mast mast!"
A little girl said one day, "Grandma's gonna die tonight!" The next morning, the girl's grandmother's body was found.
That day she said again, "Grandpa's gonna die tonight!" Sure enough, the girl's grandfather died and his body was discovered the next morning.
That day she said, "Daddy's gonna die tonight." The girl's father was terrified. He lay shaking the entire night. Somehow, he survived until morning. His wife came into the room crying. He asked her why she was upset and she said that the postman had died last night.
What did Hitler tell the eye doctor?
“I can na-zi.”
What do you call a skeleton with no bones? A boneless boy.
"Wanna hear a construction joke?"
"Yeah, sure."
"Wait, I'm still working on it!"
Papyrus: You are so lazy, Sans!
Sans: Call me what you want. I got THICK SKIN!
Papyrus: Another bad joke and I'm finished with him!!
Frisk: HAHAHA
Papyrus: We are monsters. The awfulest kind!
Sans: To mess with us takes a lot of SPINE!!!
What do the initials BIBLE stand for?
"Bullshit In Book Lacking Evidence."
An orphan girl's boyfriend broke up with her, what was his reason?
"If her parents didn't want her, why should I?"
Me: Hey, say I am ugly for a billion pounds.
Them: You're ugly.
Me: Sorry, I am not a mirror.
Why couldn't the skeleton go to the prom? Because he had no BODY to go with...
I could have said a skeleTON more jokes, but I think that might break your funny bone.
What does a serial killer make for breakfast?
Scrambled legs and toes.
I find all these obese jokes horrible.
Don't you think they have enough on their plate?
A young peasant coming from the field with his scythe on his shoulder notices an attractive young woman that was doing the laundry in a mountain stream, perched on some rocks near a waterfall.
The guy stops and leans against his scythe, fascinated by the young girl's beauty.
After minutes of watching her, she loses her balance, slips on a rock and falls all the way down, crushing her head on the white rocks.
Thoughtful, he puts his scythe back on his shoulder and walks away, saying to himself "Damn, another washing machine destroyed by limestone!"
What do gay horses eat?
Hay.
What do kids with cancer and cancer jokes have in common?
They never get old.
What do you call a girl skeleton dancing?
A bone-étit.
My friend told me an emo joke once, and I said, "Emo jokes aren't funny, cut it out!"
I’ve got a joke about Alzheimers.
Um.
Oh no. I can’t actually remember it.
I asked Michael Jackson when did he lose his virginity. He just replied with "HEHE!"
What do you call six gay men at war? Rainbow Six Siege.