Humor

Papyrus: You are so lazy, Sans!

Sans: Call me what you want. I got THICK SKIN!

Papyrus: Another bad joke and I'm finished with him!!

Frisk: HAHAHA

Papyrus: We are monsters. The awfulest kind!

Sans: To mess with us takes a lot of SPINE!!!

A young peasant coming from the field with his scythe on his shoulder notices an attractive young woman that was doing the laundry in a mountain stream, perched on some rocks near a waterfall.

The guy stops and leans against his scythe, fascinated by the young girl's beauty.

After minutes of watching her, she loses her balance, slips on a rock and falls all the way down, crushing her head on the white rocks.

Thoughtful, he puts his scythe back on his shoulder and walks away, saying to himself "Damn, another washing machine destroyed by limestone!"

What do you call a girl skeleton dancing?

A bone-étit.

I’ve got a joke about Alzheimers.

Um.

Oh no. I can’t actually remember it.

My friend told me an emo joke once, and I said, "Emo jokes aren't funny, cut it out!"

What do kids with cancer and cancer jokes have in common?

They never get old.

Dirty Joke: A boy fell in the mud.

Clean Joke: He took a bath with bubbles.

Dirty Joke: Bubbles was the girl next door.

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?

It's easy to roast beef.

There are 5 cats on a boat, and 1 jumps off. How many are left?

Zero, they were copycats.

If you shit in a church, is it a holy shit?

Me.

The joke is me.

Why did the stoner cross the road?

He got so wasted, he thought he was a chicken.

What's the difference between a gun and my will to live? None, they are both absent.

Two kids were sitting at a restaurant. One said, "Could I please have some water? I am feeling a little HORSE." The other said, "Animal Puns? TOUCAN play at that game."

Math puns are the first SINE of madness! Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

What did one brain cell say to the other brain cell?

"I think I feel a connection!"

No one wanted to hear my ocean puns, they said they were too fishy.

Did you hear about the guy who invented the first knock knock joke?

He won the No Bell Prize!

I didn't trip and fall... I attacked the floor, and I believe I am winning :3

Why didn’t the girl like stairs?

They were always up to something.