Humor
Beautiful people should read this quote: "God gave you beauty but not brains."
I was making love to this girl, and she started crying. I said, “Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?” She said, “No, I hate myself now.”
– Rodney Dangerfield
Why can't orphans really play baseball?
Because when they do, all the other kids tell that joke that everyone has heard more than 50 times.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
I thought God didn't make mistakes, but then I saw your face.
My late grandpa was always popular with women. One day, before he died, I asked him what his secret was. He said, "I inherited a watering hole."
Bewildered, I replied, "What does that have to do with anything?"
"I could easily get anyone wet because I was well endowed."
A guy tried to suffocate himself with his BMW exhaust, but his engine failed.
This is the first time German engineering fails to gas someone.
What is the difference between a dead body and a Lamborghini?
I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.
What are two plus sides to being an orphan?
1. All your snacks are family sized.
2. No one can make jokes about your mama.
Son: Dad, what's dark humor?
Dad: Do you see the guy over there with no arms?
Son: No, I'm blind.
Your hairline goes so far back that even God said, "I learned about it in my days."
My wife told me I could never, ever build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta!
I threw a lamp at a depressed kid. I was just trying to brighten up his day.
The emo tried to high five the tree, but the tree just left him hanging.
There was one kid that came home from school and asked his mom what dark humor was.
She said, "Well son, do you see that guy over there across the road? Go give him a high-five."
Son said, "But I can't see."
Mom said, "That's the point."
Most people call it grave robbing...
I prefer to call it cryptocurrency.
Tell an old person to pretend [they are] shaking salt in their mouth... you'll see!
Joke start.
Punchline!
My first name is Al and my last name is Coholic :) #yuengling.f/wat
Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?
In case they get a hole in one!