Humor

Your hairline goes so far back that even God said, "I learned about it in my days."

Most people call it grave robbing...

I prefer to call it cryptocurrency.

🗣: "Stop making suicide jokes!"

"Don't worry bro, I'll end it soon."

Beautiful people should read this quote: "God gave you beauty but not brains."

I threw a lamp at a depressed kid. I was just trying to brighten up his day.

What is the difference between a dead body and a Lamborghini?

I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

Son: Dad, what's dark humor?

Dad: Do you see the guy over there with no arms?

Son: No, I'm blind.

My wife told me I could never, ever build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta!

How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?

Depends on how hard you throw them.

I have a better method of abortion than currently used. It's like a regular one, except you can get free food out of it... We're about to give baby-back ribs a whole new meaning.

I thought God didn't make mistakes, but then I saw your face.

My late grandpa was always popular with women. One day, before he died, I asked him what his secret was. He said, "I inherited a watering hole."

Bewildered, I replied, "What does that have to do with anything?"

"I could easily get anyone wet because I was well endowed."

Nearly 40% of the world have been in a relationship; the 60% are worstjokesever.com users.

Why did the chicken cross the road to KFC?

He wanted to see a chicken strip.

Why was the kid's report card all wet?

Because it was below "sea" level.

ROBERT LEWANDISNEY SONG

Give me freedom. Give me fire. Give me contract, Or I retire.

Jog all day, Out of UCL now. FC Barcelona, I need you now.

Villarreal defenders, They surround me. Big submarines, All around me.

I get upset. Call my agent. I want money. I’m impatient.

Why did the emo kid like the all black Oreos?

'Cause they're dark.

Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?

In case they get a hole in one!

What do you call an Italian with a rubber toe?

Roberto.

Why do orphans play GTA so much?

Because they can be wanted for once.