Humor
ROBERT LEWANDISNEY SONG
Give me freedom. Give me fire. Give me contract, Or I retire.
Jog all day, Out of UCL now. FC Barcelona, I need you now.
Villarreal defenders, They surround me. Big submarines, All around me.
I get upset. Call my agent. I want money. I’m impatient.
Why did the emo kid like the all black Oreos?
'Cause they're dark.
What do you call an Italian with a rubber toe?
Roberto.
What do you call a group of sped kids with AK-47s?
Special forces.
Why do orphans play GTA so much?
Because they can be wanted for once.
true
Yo mama is so ugly that when she went through a face ID, it didn't think she was human.
Russia—the real joke.
Popular guy in class: I am so funny.
Me: Your parents are funny as they made a joke and people are still laughing at it.
Hey guys, how was your day?
If you ask me the same question, here's the answer: depressing.
I still haven't made any friends on this app. All I do is read and comment on old jokes or opinions.
"I'm sorry, Wendy, but I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die."
Did you know that the "f" in "orphans" means family?
If a blonde and a brunette jump off a building, who would hit the ground first?
The brunette, because the blonde would have to stop and ask for directions!
Did you hear about the cemetery? I heard that people are dying to be there.
Did you hear about the cannibal who converted to Catholicism?
On Fridays, he only eats fishermen!
What do you call a different spaghetti? An impasta!
PAPYRUS: WHAT DO YOU CALL A DIFFERENT SPAGHETTI SANS?
SANS: What?
PAPYRUS: AN IMPASTA!
SANS: Good one.
I have a little John.
My biggest joke: I’d show you, but I don’t have a mirror to show you.
What do you call a lady with a pyramid on her head?
mummy
What did The Notorious B.I.G. say to the cow?
- MOO MONEY MOO PROBLEMS
What do you call a white man sandwiched between two black men in a blue sleeping bag?
An Oreo.