Humor
One day I was jogging through the park and I saw this lady sitting next to a pond in a wheelchair with no legs and arms and said "Why are you crying" she said she had never been hugged I gave her a hug and jogged away.The next day i saw her again and asked her the same question she said "I've never been kissed" I gave her a kiss and went, The third day i asked her thrice and she said I've never been fucked I picked her up from her wheelchair and throwed her in the pond and said your fucked now She didn't make it:)
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because he forgot to plug in the charger.
I called the suicide hotline in Saudi Arabia. They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck.
A man once sued smart water for not making him smart. Then a woman replied, “Okay cool, now I’m going to go sue Thin Mints for not making me thin.”
A man was having a dream. He dreamt about a mystical creature that was commonly known as the god of toast.
When the man woke up, he turned to tell his wife about the dream. When he delivers the "toast god" punchline, his wife shrugged as she faced the opposite direction to the man.
The man turned around also and started sobbing as he realised his marriage is in shambles.
What do you call the worst joke teller of all time?
Ben or Chris?
What does a lesbian have in common with a mechanic? Snap-on tools.
What award does the Demogorgon get? A Emmygorgon.
It was pornography class, and there was a break.
Two adults were "having a good time" till the teacher says...
Teacher: Hey! SAY ALL THE NUMBERS TO 10,000 NOW!
Adult 1: How about I say my ABC's?
Teacher: Go ahead, I guess...
Adult 1: A B C E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Teacher: Where's the D?
Adult 2: Inside me...
What pictures do orphans take? Selfies.
DEEZ NUTS
GOTTEM!
If having sex for money makes you a wh*re, then what does having sex for free make you?
Non-profit wh*reganisation.
Cremation. My final hope for a smokin’ hot body!
I’ll make a joke about homeless people, but they just don’t work.
There were once three brothers, Shit, Shut up, and Manners. One day, Shit got hit by a car. Shut up went to find help at the local police station while Manners tried to help Shit.
When Shut up got to the police station he says, "My brother has just been hit by a car."
The policeman replied with, "OK then, first I need to know your name."
"Shut up."
"No, I need to know your name."
"Shut up."
"Excuse me, but where are your manners?"
"Round the corner picking up shit."
Why are orphans so skinny?
They never eat anything that is family size.
Dad: I heard an actor killed themselves with a knife. It was Reese something.
Mom: Witherspoon.
Dad: No, with a knife, you dummy!
Ur face.
A blind kid accidentally touches the emo kid's wrist and says, "I'm not reading all of that!"
I got a joke.
Allahu Akbar!