Humor

Why do dwarfs do drugs?

To get high.

Why should you never make height jokes about dwarfs?

It goes right over their head.

What do you call a dear with no eyes?

I have no eye deer!

Motivational Quote for today: If you're feeling tired and ugly today, cheer up, you probably won't feel tired tomorrow morning...

Two terrorists walk into a bar.

The bartender asks what they are talking about. Terrorist 1 says, "We are going to kill 14k people and a donkey."

The Bartender asks, "Why a donkey?"

Then Terrorist 2 says, "See, I told you no one would care about the 14k people."

I taped a picture of Bill Cosby to my gun. Now it’s an assault rifle.

We used to have Reagan, Jonny Cash, and Bob Hope. Now we have Biden, no cash, and no hope.

What do you call a fart in a gay bar?

A mating call.

I threw a lamp at a depressed kid and tried to brighten up his day.

What's the difference between an emo and a banana?

They both hang like apples.

Yo mama so fat, survivors of the Titanic said a fat girl on the bow was so heavy, the ship started to sink, but when she reached the stern, the ship split.

Why is September 11th the best birthday?

Everyone remembers it! :)

The emo tried to high five the tree, but the tree just left him hanging.

Why can't orphans really play baseball?

Because when they do, all the other kids tell that joke that everyone has heard more than 50 times.

What is the difference between a dead body and a Lamborghini?

I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

What are two plus sides to being an orphan?

1. All your snacks are family sized.

2. No one can make jokes about your mama.

Tell an old person to pretend [they are] shaking salt in their mouth... you'll see!

Son: Dad, what's dark humor?

Dad: Do you see the guy over there with no arms?

Son: No, I'm blind.

There was one kid that came home from school and asked his mom what dark humor was.

She said, "Well son, do you see that guy over there across the road? Go give him a high-five."

Son said, "But I can't see."

Mom said, "That's the point."

Your hairline goes so far back that even God said, "I learned about it in my days."