Humor
What is the best way to get chewing gum out of your hair?
Cancer.
Your forehead is so big that it was used as a billboard.
A blonde drops off her dress to the dry cleaners.
The lady says, "Come again!"
The blonde says, "No, it's toothpaste this time."
What do you call a deer who is funny?
Diraleous.
Kid: Wanna hear a joke?
Me: Sure.
Kid: Why diddncjcjcbfjcbcjdbbskzmzj b b j no?
Me:?
Memes
Why did I giggle?
Because I saw the ocean's bottom.
I think people should date orphans, because their parents are never home.
Hey guys, how was your day?
If you ask me the same question, here's the answer: depressing.
I still haven't made any friends on this app. All I do is read and comment on old jokes or opinions.
The quiet kid's dad dies. You go, "Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Not your dad."
Then he says, "What comes after 47?"
The quiet kid says, "AK."
Pokemon: Why did the Miltank cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
Ok, so my brother made this, here it is:
Knock knock. Who's there? Chicken. Chicken who? Chicken garbage!
Ok I know it makes no sense, but he made it when he was like 3.
A list of Sans puns would be Sans-tastic!
What's a chicken's deadliest day?
Friday.
What did the headless horseman say to the woman?
"Give me head."
When I was at work, I saw this kid crying. I said, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working in an orphanage.
A guy tried to suffocate himself with his BMW exhaust, but his engine failed.
This is the first time German engineering fails to gas someone.
What are two plus sides to being an orphan?
1. All your snacks are family sized.
2. No one can make jokes about your mama.
I was making love to this girl, and she started crying. I said, “Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?” She said, “No, I hate myself now.”
– Rodney Dangerfield
The emo tried to high five the tree, but the tree just left him hanging.
There was one kid that came home from school and asked his mom what dark humor was.
She said, "Well son, do you see that guy over there across the road? Go give him a high-five."
Son said, "But I can't see."
Mom said, "That's the point."