Ash Jokes

Anonymous Jail Mom In TX

wo tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, “Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?” The birch says he cannot tell, but just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling. The birch says, “Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?” The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree and replies, “It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch, It is, however, the best piece of ash I have ever poked my pecker into.”

Heisenberg

My dad always wanted one last smoke before his death so we smoked his ashes.

Ally

What is sprinkled around the pokemon floor? Oh right. Ash’s ashes.

Astro
in Orphan

What’s an orphan’s favorite store? Ashely Home Store

How many people can you fit in a car? 6 - 3 in the back, 2 in the front and my nan in the ash tray.

What appears over Ash’s head when he gets an idea? A LightBulbasaur.

Anonymous

Ashes to ashes, Priests prever boys, cause they dont have to shave their asses.

Anonymous

1.What do you call chesse that’s no yours - Nacho Chesse

  1. Knock Knock WHO’s there ash ash who-ashOoO
  2. How does the ocean say hello - he waves
  3. Why can’t elsa have a ballaon- Because she will let it go
  4. What do you can your enemy- You dont call it at all
#urmom
in Cannibal

Am I considered a cannibal because I told my mom that grandma’s ashes was sugar.

Anonymous

Knock, knock. – “Who’s there?” – “Ash.” – “Ash who?” – “Bless you.”

Anonymous
in Priest

An LDS preacher knocks on the door with a chalice of wine offering to do the sacrement

The person living there points and says, “begone fowl blood-drinker”

And promptly the preacher bursts into flames leaving nothing but ash.

Anonymous
in People

The name is Ash, Johnathan Ash. My friends call me Jack.

Anonymous

An old man saw the TikTok trend of people throwing it back the old man wanted to do it with his wife the man set up everything needed a did the video I threw it back first then his wife bust instead of an old lady it was ashes

Anonymous guy thats not

spaghettieashannaise

Kinetic Johnston

Why did Pikachu chase Ash? Because he wanted to Ketchum.

watersharky

Momma’s House-By-watersharky Productions and Dustin Lynch- I see your face on every street, every corner, couple trees Even got her name on 'em I feel your love, I hear your laugh, got them take me way on back Hurt me memories, I don’t want 'em Up and down the boulevard In and out of every bar I’d burn this whole town down Pick a spot, dig a hole, put them ashes in the ground Baby, I’d burn this whole town down If it wasn’t for my momma’s house, my momma’s house Damn girl, why’d you have to break it like that Leaving pieces of my shattered heart scattered like glass I’d burn this whole town down If it wasn’t for my momma’s house, my momma’s house I would start it where we started, at the downtown party Where you kissed my lips and stole my beer The city park in the dark where we looked up at the stars Watched them fireworks pop last year It started under that Texaco sign where you said goodbye I’d get some gas and drop a match right there I’d burn this whole town down Pick a spot, dig a hole, put them ashes in the ground Baby, I’d burn this whole town down If it wasn’t for my momma’s house, my momma’s house Damn girl, why’d you have to break it like that Leaving pieces of my shattered heart scattered like glass I’d burn this whole town down If it wasn’t for my momma’s house, my momma’s house Fire red flames, sunsets in the sky Going out, staying in, staying up long nights Now I’m waking up alone, wishing I could move on Blocked your number in my phone, thought it help but it don’t I’d burn this whole town down Pick a spot, dig a hole, put them ashes in the ground Baby, I’d burn this whole town down If it wasn’t for my momma’s house, my momma’s house Damn girl, why’d you have to break it like that Leaving pieces of my shattered heart scattered like glass I’d burn this whole town down If it wasn’t for my momma’s house, my momma’s house

Slurper 2.0
in Nan

Me: “What are you doing??” Bully: “Where’s my nan’s urn?!?” Me: “I don’t know.” Bully: “Tell me!! says worthless shit” Me: “Next time you’re looking for the urn, don’t bother, I smoked her ashes. They were so fucking good. I then used a quarter of them as an exfoliator, cleared my acne and eczema btw!! Then built sandcastles with them, then blew them in your family’s face after!”

Don’t bully kids.

Luke

How do you clean ash of a stove with chemicals

Alexis

What do frogs whar for shoes/open toad. What does your mom say to you/love you moody.

Stephanie

Like if you know what ashes are