Humor

I have a pun, but I will nut tell you!

A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, "Have you heard about the mad cow disease that's going around?"

"Yeah," the other cow says. "Makes me glad I'm a penguin."

What's the difference between a rubber and Michael Jackson? Nothing, kids touch them both.

Why make a joke when I wake up and look at myself?

What is smegma name?

Yo mama is so fat that when she fell, I didn't laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.

What do you call a woodpecker without a beak?

A headbanger.

What's an EMO's favorite game?...... DARK SOULS

A little girl was sitting with some other kids. She thought to herself, "I want to have kids when I'm older, at least they’ll have a home, parents, and hopefully a dad that actually came back with the milk!" 🤣😂

What kind of bath bomb does an emo person use?

A toaster.

What do you call 2 lesbians in a canoe?

Fur Traders.

Why can't orphans go to the hospital? Because it is a family hospital. Sorry for the long break in between my jokes. I just had some family stuff, but I am back.

Yo mama so ugly, when she went to unlock her phone with her face, it said, "disconnected."

What do you call depressed coffee?

Despresso ;)

I would tell you a recycling joke.

But I’m afraid it’d just be reused over and over.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite tv show?

Family Guy.

I told a joke to a guy who had jumped off a bridge... He was in bits! 🤣🤦‍♂️

How was the slice of cheese 🧀 doing in the kitchen?

Cheddar!

TEST QUESTION: what looks like half an apple?

My cousin: the other half.

Welcome to Arby's, where your babies become our gravy!