Humor
Sophia matched with a midget on Tinder.
Midget: Hey! What’s up?
Sophia: Well technically everything is, from your perspective!
What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user?
Fast food.
How do you trick a homophobic heterosexual male that is a Roman Catholic priest into using the glory hole inside the men's restroom at a gay bar?
Tell him that it is a confessional booth.
What do you call a dear with no eyes?
I have no eye deer!
What's the difference between 911 and a Mexican gardener?
One of them is an outside job.
What do you call it when everyone of your friends makes too many dumb Covid jokes? A pundemic.
Me: Mom, the weight scale wants your weight, not your phone number!
I asked the gym instructor,
"Can you teach me to do the splits?"
"How flexible are you?" he asked.
"Well, I can't make it on Fridays."
Me: Good night, everyone.
My friends and family: Night.
Me: *gets in coffin*
My family: *stares at my friends* You aren't going to do something?!?
My friends: *to my family* Nope, this is normal.
Dark humor is like food, some just don't get it.
My mom tells me to stop with the suicide jokes, and I replied with, "It's not that deep."
Your hairline is so far gone that it looks like someone dropped a nuclear bomb on it.
What do you call a virgin lying on a waterbed?
A cherry float.
My girlfriend broke up with me, so I took her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?
I went to a feminist picnic the other day.
It was great, apart from the fact no one made any sandwiches.
What’s the only advantage of being an orphan?
Nobody makes jokes about yo mamma.
An orphan? We no jokes.
Jokeless orphan since they were always stacked on jokes.
Your mom said, "Can you get to the dick game?"
Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when you push them down the stairs.
All these jokes really hijacking my mind.