Humor

Why are Black people getting stronger?

Because the TVs are getting bigger.

Sophia matched with a midget on Tinder.

Midget: Hey! What’s up?

Sophia: Well technically everything is, from your perspective!

A photon is checking into a hotel.

The bellhop asks him, "Do you have any luggage?"

The photon replies, "Nope, I'm traveling light."

What's the difference between sex and mental illness?

Most of Reddit has experienced mental illness.

Asians love it when a British person says "Rice!"

Yo mama so ugly, her portraits hang themselves.

The doctor told me I'm color blind...

Me: That's out of the purple!

I work in a garage, and yesterday a gay person came up to me and said, "Why won't my car go straight?"

God: You're gonna have 2 parents.

Orphan: Double it and give it to the next person.

I’ll make a joke about homeless people, but they just don’t work.

Guy: Whose place? Mine or yours?

Girl: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

I asked my Dad the other day, "At what age is it okay to have sex with girls?"

He replied, "When they leave school, son, they are legal."

Apparently, 3:15 p.m. is not what he meant.

Someone: PLEASE EAT! I DON'T WANT YOU TO DIE!

Me: *Trying to remember how long it would take me to die of starvation because I've already googled it and given up because it takes too long.*

Me: Na, yeah, I still have 19 days left.

I rate you 9 out of 10, because I'm the 1 you need.

My ex-boyfriend threatened to kill me because I was suicidal.

I wanted to tell him, "Well, can we get what we both want?" I was already planning on dying anyway.

What joke could orphan's never understand?

Your Mom jokes.

What did Adam say when he saw Eve?

Answer: "Woman!"

What do you call frozen Ibuprofen?

A chill pill.

How did Aby get away from Mr. Ryan in Iran? He ran!

I tried to make a belt out of watches, but it was a waste of time.