Humor
What do you call a basement full of SJW's?
A whine cellar.
I would tell a dad joke, but it already left me.
What do you call an act of “funny” discipline? A PUN-ishment!
What’s the speed limit in bed?
It’s 68. Once you hit 69, you have to turn back around.
What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals?
Philipe Philope.
Shresh
Everybody was kung flu dying.
It traveled as fast as lightning.
2020 was expert timing.
In fact, it was a little bit frightening.
Q: How can you tell if a vampire is sick?
A: By how much he's coffin.
Confucius say, female pilot who fly upside down have crack up.
The crocodile just kept saying, "No!" He was in Da Nile!
How did Aby get away from Mr. Ryan in Iran? He ran!
I tried to make a belt out of watches, but it was a waste of time.
Why do ghosts love elevators? They lift their spirits!
Why do skeletons hate wind? Because it goes right through them!
What’s Stephan Hawking's favorite dance move?
The robot.
I bought a coffin on Black Friday. It was a killer deal.
Call me a worn-out sweater because I’m hanging on by a thread.
That’s about to become a rope around my neck.
what do you call an American looking at cloud shapes?
Oppenheimer
If having sex for money makes you a wh*re, then what does having sex for free make you?
Non-profit wh*reganisation.
What do you call a religious drug addict?
A crystal methodist.
Everyone: You gotta pay the cost to be the boss.
Germans: You gotta be the caust to be the boss.