Humor

What's the difference between a bridge and a burrito?

I can't jump off a burrito.

Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when you push them down the stairs.

My girlfriend broke up with me, so I took her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?

Well, you know what they say about cliffhangers...

I just planted emo grass.

Ignore it and it cuts itself.

What was the orphan's name?

Jake! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂🤣🤣😂🤣🤣😂😂

I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet.

Then I was even sadder, because that lucky guy didn't even *need* shoes!

All these jokes really hijacking my mind.

I went to a feminist picnic the other day.

It was great, apart from the fact no one made any sandwiches.

Q: Why do clowns always get into fights?

A: Because they have the balls to.

I have a pun, but I will nut tell you!

A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, "Have you heard about the mad cow disease that's going around?"

"Yeah," the other cow says. "Makes me glad I'm a penguin."

What's the difference between a rubber and Michael Jackson? Nothing, kids touch them both.

Why make a joke when I wake up and look at myself?

What is smegma name?

Yo mama is so fat that when she fell, I didn't laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.

What do you call a woodpecker without a beak?

A headbanger.

What's an EMO's favorite game?...... DARK SOULS

A little girl was sitting with some other kids. She thought to herself, "I want to have kids when I'm older, at least they’ll have a home, parents, and hopefully a dad that actually came back with the milk!" 🤣😂

What kind of bath bomb does an emo person use?

A toaster.