Humor
How much work does a skeleton get done?
A SKELE-TON!
What do you call a pineapple in a pun?
A Puneapple.
I say hi to Sans. Sans shows his hand and says, "It's hand to meet you," and we both laugh.
What’s the speed limit in bed?
It’s 68. Once you hit 69, you have to turn back around.
What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals?
Philipe Philope.
I have a pun, but I will nut tell you!
Q: Why do clowns always get into fights?
A: Because they have the balls to.
What do you say to a depressed special kid?
“Why so down?”
A son tells his father, "I have an imaginary girlfriend."
The father sighs and says, "You know, you could do better."
"Thanks Dad," the son says.
The father shakes his head and goes, "I was talking to your girlfriend."
Grandpa: "Sonny, let me tell you something. There's only one damn thing in this whole world worse than Alzheimer's."
Boy: "What's that?"
Grandpa: "What's what?"
Do you like pudding? Pudding deez nuts in your mouth!
I just planted emo grass.
Ignore it and it cuts itself.
What was the orphan's name?
Jake! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂🤣🤣😂🤣🤣😂😂
An orphan? We no jokes.
Jokeless orphan since they were always stacked on jokes.
All these suicide jokes are f***ing killing me.
What's the difference between a bridge and a burrito?
I can't jump off a burrito.
Well, you know what they say about cliffhangers...
What does the handicapped man say to the cops when he’s mistaken for a criminal: "Don't shoot, I'm unarmed!"
What do you call a disabled person who gets high?
Baked potato.
The other day, I walked up to someone who looked lost and he had all scraggy clothes on. I said, "Are you an orphan?"
He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?"
I said, "Your parents, buddy."