Humor
What does the handicapped man say to the cops when he’s mistaken for a criminal: "Don't shoot, I'm unarmed!"
What do you call a person with no arms?
Armless.
No, it's harmless.
It was just a prank, and stop calling our humor "plane." In our opinion, it's fire.
What do you call a disabled person who gets high?
Baked potato.
The other day, I walked up to someone who looked lost and he had all scraggy clothes on. I said, "Are you an orphan?"
He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?"
I said, "Your parents, buddy."
Memes
I say hi to Sans. Sans shows his hand and says, "It's hand to meet you," and we both laugh.
How much work does a skeleton get done?
A SKELE-TON!
Confucius say, female pilot who fly upside down have crack up.
Q: Why did the pervert cross the road?
A: Couldn't get his dick out of the chicken.
Q: How can you tell if a vampire is sick?
A: By how much he's coffin.
What do you call an act of “funny” discipline? A PUN-ishment!
Why did the ocean break up with the pond?
Because the pond was too shallow.
What’s Stephan Hawking's favorite dance move?
The robot.
Why do ghosts love elevators? They lift their spirits!
If someone calls you dirty minded just say:
"You are dirty minded as well if you understand what I'm saying."
The crocodile just kept saying, "No!" He was in Da Nile!
How did Aby get away from Mr. Ryan in Iran? He ran!
I tried to make a belt out of watches, but it was a waste of time.
You're so scary that even your hairline ran away.
If having sex for money makes you a wh*re, then what does having sex for free make you?
Non-profit wh*reganisation.