Today, I asked my phone, "Siri, why am I still single?" and it activated the front camera.
Selfie Jokes
What is it called when an orphan takes a selfie?
A family photo.
Yo mama is so fat, she takes her selfies in panoramic mode.
How do you know you’re ugly?
If you always get handed the camera for group photos.
What do you do when an orphan takes a family photo?
A selfie.
Tibia honest, it takes a lot of spine to memorize all the bones in the skeletal system. I mean, there's a skele-ton of em! You gotta be boned up for the skeletal system exam, buddy chum pal. Now that was a humerus ribtickling skelepun. Besides, if ya don't know all of the bones in the skeletal system, get boned, fucking numbskull. Did those tickle your funny bone? Now I've been working down to the bone typing these puns, kid. Now if you hate all these, I won't be bothered, I got thick skin! But first, lemme take a skelfie in the skelevator playing my trom-bone. Now, I gotta go to Grillby's. They got a discount on spare-ribs. Bone-voyage, my homeslice breadslice dawg.
What do you call an orphan family photo?
A selfie.
I went to see my grandfather in the hospital because I wanted to get to know him better before he passed, maybe take a selfie with him. But when I got there my phone died, so I unplugged a vacuum to plug in my phone. And it turns out he only knows Spanish, so when he kept saying, "Me desconectaste el soporte de mi vida," I thought he wanted water. But when I got back with the water he was asleep, and now my phone was charged, so I translated what he said. And it was, "You unplugged my life support." That's when I called the doctor...
Good news is, I got one sick selfie!
Why was the turtle looking at her phone?
She wanted to take a shellfie.
What do you call an orphan taking a family photo?
A selfie.
Dad: Ok kids, this selfie will just be me! *screen cracks*
What do you call an orphan family photo?
A selfi.
What is the orphan's version of a family portrait?
A selfie.
What do you call an orphan that takes a selfie?
A family portrait.
Your momma's so fat, she had to take a selfie using the Hubble telescope.
What type of pictures do orphans take?
Selfies.
When an orphan takes a family photo, it’s called a selfie.
I photo bombed someone's selfie, and then they yelled, "Why would you do that? I was trying to take a family photo!"
The orphan's best friend wanted to meet his family, so he took a selfie.
What do phones and orphans have in common?
They selfie! (It's because they don't have parents.)