Humor
I want to write some jokes about unemployed people, but none of them works.
How do you make a dishwasher work again?
Smack her ass and say "get back to work!"
Why are Black people getting stronger?
Because the TVs are getting bigger.
Yo mama so ugly, when I put her next to a naked mole rat, it said "bluetooth connected."
My mom tells me to stop with the suicide jokes, and I replied with, "It's not that deep."
What’s the only advantage of being an orphan?
Nobody makes jokes about yo mamma.
What is the only place fat people live?
Obi-city.
The trip from your eyebrow to your hairline costs $6000.
Me: Good night, everyone.
My friends and family: Night.
Me: *gets in coffin*
My family: *stares at my friends* You aren't going to do something?!?
My friends: *to my family* Nope, this is normal.
Why was the orphan so successful?
Because people always said, "Go big or go home," and he only had one option. 😂🤣
What do you call a murderer with two butts? An assassin.
What do you call a virgin lying on a waterbed?
A cherry float.
My gay ass: I want to find Jesus.
Religious mom: FINALLY!
Me: Grabs a noose.
Your hairline is so far gone that it looks like someone dropped a nuclear bomb on it.
I asked the gym instructor,
"Can you teach me to do the splits?"
"How flexible are you?" he asked.
"Well, I can't make it on Fridays."
Treat me like a joke, and I will leave you like it's funny.
Your hairline is so far back it was friends with the dinosaurs!
Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when you push them down the stairs.
All these jokes really hijacking my mind.
I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet.
Then I was even sadder, because that lucky guy didn't even *need* shoes!