Humor
Why can't orphans have sex?
Because there is nobody to call "daddy."
I was about to make a baby joke but then decided to abort.
Has Covid-19 forced you to wear glasses and a mask at the same time?
You may be entitled to condensation.
Dang... if I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put D IN U ;)
I only know there are 25 letters in the alphabet, I don't know Y.
(Me: How many letters are in the alphabet?) -- (Friend: 11- T-H-E-- A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T)
(Me: There are 20 letters in the alphabet, right?) -- (Crush: No, there is actually 26.) -- (Me: oooOoh, I forgot u r a qt! So its acdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz?) -- (Crush: You forgot the D) -- (Me: That's not needed yet ;])
What letter is really hot? T
C = cOCK O = CoCK C = COcK K = COCk COCK = cock cock = COCK
ME SExUAL SRrY LoL
I had a friend named Mari. Sadly, she did drugs.
So one day I go up to her and say, “Mari-juana do this???” She later asked me to leave forever... I don’t gnome why, but... it CRACKed me up a bit!!!
Damn bro, are you Gold, Titanium, Sulfur, Titanium, and Carbon?
Cuz you be lookin AuTiSTiC.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
One's plastic and dangerous to play with; the other is to carry groceries.
What do you call a pregnant slave? A two for one deal.
What do you call a toy that has a story?
Toy Story.
I tried to come up with a funny pun about squirrels, but all my ideas were nuts.
What's an Asian orphan's surname? No Pham.
Q: What do you call a chip that goes fast?
A: A rocket chip.
What did God say when he made the first woman?
"Where is your dick at?"
I don't always roll a joint, but when I do, it's my ankle.
What do you call a Native American with a boner?
A redwood.
Dark humor is like water; not everyone gets it.
What do women and peanut butter have in common?
They're both easy to spread.
Mom: "I gave you life and you should be able to wash dishes."
Me: "Why did you?"
Mom: "I was very drunk..."
Explains a lot...
What happens when you kick a boy in the balls?
THEY NUTS ARE IN PAIN.
"Koalafications" are irr-elephant.