Humor
TEST QUESTION: what looks like half an apple?
My cousin: the other half.
Yo mama so ugly, when she went to unlock her phone with her face, it said, "disconnected."
A little girl was sitting with some other kids. She thought to herself, "I want to have kids when I'm older, at least they’ll have a home, parents, and hopefully a dad that actually came back with the milk!" 🤣😂
What kind of bath bomb does an emo person use?
A toaster.
What do you call 2 lesbians in a canoe?
Fur Traders.
Why can't orphans go to the hospital? Because it is a family hospital. Sorry for the long break in between my jokes. I just had some family stuff, but I am back.
What's an EMO's favorite game?...... DARK SOULS
KFC doesn't mean Kentucky Fried Chicken, it means "Kill Fat Children."
What’s an orphan’s least favorite tv show?
Family Guy.
What do you call a disabled person who gets high?
Baked potato.
The other day, I walked up to someone who looked lost and he had all scraggy clothes on. I said, "Are you an orphan?"
He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?"
I said, "Your parents, buddy."
Welcome to Arby's, where your babies become our gravy!
What does the handicapped man say to the cops when he’s mistaken for a criminal: "Don't shoot, I'm unarmed!"
What do you call a person with no arms?
Armless.
No, it's harmless.
It is reported that when Churchill met Stalin at Yalta, they discussed their hobbies.
Churchill said: "I collect the jokes people tell me about me."
"That's a coincidence," said Stalin, "I collect the people who tell jokes about me."
My wife went to Niagara Falls and fell. She broke every bone in her body.
One year later, she recovered. She slipped on an orange peel and died.
What's got 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves! Nah, just kidding... He still hasn't unwrapped his present.
Do you like pudding? Pudding deez nuts in your mouth!
Grandpa: "Sonny, let me tell you something. There's only one damn thing in this whole world worse than Alzheimer's."
Boy: "What's that?"
Grandpa: "What's what?"
What do you call a basement full of SJW's?
A whine cellar.