Humor
Why do people hate abortion jokes?
It leaves you with an empty feeling inside.
What’s Stephan Hawking's favorite dance move?
The robot.
What unit of measurement is used on farms? Barn yards.
Why did the doorbell have a good sense of humor?
Because it got everybody's pokes!
Why was it so hot in a square room? Because all the corners are 90 degrees.
What happens when you cross a rhetorical question with a joke?
I tried to make a belt out of watches, but it was a waste of time.
Why do ghosts love elevators? They lift their spirits!
How did Aby get away from Mr. Ryan in Iran? He ran!
I say hi to Sans. Sans shows his hand and says, "It's hand to meet you," and we both laugh.
What do you call a pineapple in a pun?
A Puneapple.
How much work does a skeleton get done?
A SKELE-TON!
What makes a healthy normal man different to a disabled man?
"They can move it, move it." (from King Julian)
What do you call a non-binary person that is lactose intolerant?
Non-buy dairy.
What's a benefit of being an orphan?
No one makes yo mama jokes to you.
Asians love it when a British person says "Rice!"
If you want KFC, pour water on a poor person outside our restaurant and film it.
Someone: PLEASE EAT! I DON'T WANT YOU TO DIE!
Me: *Trying to remember how long it would take me to die of starvation because I've already googled it and given up because it takes too long.*
Me: Na, yeah, I still have 19 days left.
God: You're gonna have 2 parents.
Orphan: Double it and give it to the next person.
Yo mama so ugly, her portraits hang themselves.