Humor
What did the Chinese girl say when she had a baby?
"Sum ting wong."
What’s the only advantage of being an orphan?
Nobody makes jokes about yo mamma.
My gay ass: I want to find Jesus.
Religious mom: FINALLY!
Me: Grabs a noose.
Somebody told me to cheer up so.... I told him to pass me a rope :)
Your hairline is so far gone that it looks like someone dropped a nuclear bomb on it.
Memes
What is the only place fat people live?
Obi-city.
What’s the speed limit in bed?
It’s 68. Once you hit 69, you have to turn back around.
What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals?
Philipe Philope.
Everybody was kung flu dying.
It traveled as fast as lightning.
2020 was expert timing.
In fact, it was a little bit frightening.
I would tell a dad joke, but it already left me.
Grandpa: "Sonny, let me tell you something. There's only one damn thing in this whole world worse than Alzheimer's."
Boy: "What's that?"
Grandpa: "What's what?"
Do you like pudding? Pudding deez nuts in your mouth!
My wife went to Niagara Falls and fell. She broke every bone in her body.
One year later, she recovered. She slipped on an orange peel and died.
What's got 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves! Nah, just kidding... He still hasn't unwrapped his present.
What do you call a basement full of SJW's?
A whine cellar.
KFC doesn't mean Kentucky Fried Chicken, it means "Kill Fat Children."
What do you say to a depressed special kid?
“Why so down?”
A son tells his father, "I have an imaginary girlfriend."
The father sighs and says, "You know, you could do better."
"Thanks Dad," the son says.
The father shakes his head and goes, "I was talking to your girlfriend."
An orphan? We no jokes.
Jokeless orphan since they were always stacked on jokes.
All these suicide jokes are f***ing killing me.