Humor

Grandpa: "Sonny, let me tell you something. There's only one damn thing in this whole world worse than Alzheimer's."

Boy: "What's that?"

Grandpa: "What's what?"

Do you like pudding? Pudding deez nuts in your mouth!

My wife went to Niagara Falls and fell. She broke every bone in her body.

One year later, she recovered. She slipped on an orange peel and died.

What's got 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon.

What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves! Nah, just kidding... He still hasn't unwrapped his present.

What do you call a basement full of SJW's?

A whine cellar.

KFC doesn't mean Kentucky Fried Chicken, it means "Kill Fat Children."

What do you say to a depressed special kid?

“Why so down?”

A son tells his father, "I have an imaginary girlfriend."

The father sighs and says, "You know, you could do better."

"Thanks Dad," the son says.

The father shakes his head and goes, "I was talking to your girlfriend."

An orphan? We no jokes.

Jokeless orphan since they were always stacked on jokes.

All these suicide jokes are f***ing killing me.

What's the difference between a bridge and a burrito?

I can't jump off a burrito.

Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when you push them down the stairs.

My girlfriend broke up with me, so I took her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?

Well, you know what they say about cliffhangers...

I just planted emo grass.

Ignore it and it cuts itself.

What was the orphan's name?

Jake! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂🤣🤣😂🤣🤣😂😂

I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet.

Then I was even sadder, because that lucky guy didn't even *need* shoes!

All these jokes really hijacking my mind.

I went to a feminist picnic the other day.

It was great, apart from the fact no one made any sandwiches.

Q: Why do clowns always get into fights?

A: Because they have the balls to.