Performance jokes
My fat friend went to the doctor because he wanted to know his blood type. After performing some tests, the doctor said, "Well, the test results have shown that your blood type is ragu."
Why did the rapper oil up his notepad?
In case he needed to DROP some FREESTYLE NOTES!
How did the person feel when his partner wouldn't perform a golden shower on him? Pissed off.
Why did the rapper bring a map to the concert?
To find his way to the top of the CHARTS.
Why did the rapper go to the beach?
To catch some sick WAVES of applause!
Why did the rapper go to space?
Because he wanted to drop some INTERGALACTIC BARS!
What's Whitney Houston's favorite type of coordination?
HAAAAAANNNNDDDDEEEEEEYYYYEEEEEE!
Why did the rapper go to school?
To master the art of RAP-LETICS!
Why did the rapper go to school?
To drop some KNOWLEDGEABLE RHYMES!
Yo mama is so ugly that if she went on stage, the show would instantly say, "And that's a wrap!"
Why was the rapper always cold?
Because he kept spitting ice!
Why did the rapper bring a parachute to the concert?
In case his lyrics made the crowd jump!
Why did the rapper take a shower before the concert?
To WASH AWAY the haters!
A Chelsea fan called Timo Werner on his phone to encourage him during his bad form. Timo Werner still missed all the calls.
I’m in a wheelchair and I can do stand-up comedy, oh wait...
Why did the rapper bring a broom on stage?
To sweep the competition!
My little brother is scared of ghosts so I won't let him watch Bayern today.
Okay, I may be strict, but I won't let Tapindowski give my son a heart attack. His shocking ghosting performance today is a danger to my family and I'll ask UEFA to investigate the matter.
I just had the worst gig of my life! I told yo mama jokes at the orphanage.
Well, I saw a stripper, and she was trying out bread.
Why was the rapper cold in the recording studio?
Because his bars were ice.