A wife asked her husband why he cheated on her. His reply was “she was just lying there naked on the table, what was I supposed to do?” The wife reply’s “perform the fucking autopsy!”
My dad was a master of his art; being compared to Houdini. Due his skill in disappearing.
why did the orphan become a stripper? so she could have someone to call daddy
They told me I could never be an actor....
No one suspected me when they went missing the next day.
Why can't disabled people make jokes.
Well, it's called Stand-Up comedy isn't it?
A blind comedian was asked to do stand up for a hospital. No one laughed at his jokes, so he continued to sing, "If you're happy and you know it..."
The room was full of arm amputees.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
I was kidnapped by mimes once. They did unspeakable things to me.
I started an emo salsa band We're called Hispanic at the Disco
👍🏼
What's Michael Jackson's favourite thing to do on guitar? Fingering A minor
A man got in a bad car accident. He was at risk of losing his arm. The doctors had to perform complicated surgery on his arm. The man's wife visited after the surgery. The doctor came up to her and said: "I have good news and bad news." The wife said: "What's the good news? "We managed to save his arm." "What's the bad news?" "We couldn't save the rest of him."
Dating a striper is like eating a bag of chips in class.
Everyone looks at you in disgust. But deep down inside they want some too.
what is the one thing cripples can't do......stand up comedy
i want to make a joke about kobe but it wont land well
I have a fish that can breakdance! Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.
I started a band called 999 megabytes... we still haven't gotten a gig
One erection would be a very nice name for a gay band.
Why are there no good Indian actors? Because all the good ones are trying to get your bank details over the phone.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
