Humor
What does a dyslexic zombie eat? Brian's, hahahahaha!
How can toilet paper decorate your house?
Shit sticks everywhere.
How much pussy does a priest get? None.
Me: Mom, the weight scale wants your weight, not your phone number!
What do you call a murderer with two butts? An assassin.
Memes
What do you call a virgin lying on a waterbed?
A cherry float.
What do you call it when everyone of your friends makes too many dumb Covid jokes? A pundemic.
Why did the emo kid not cross the road?
He was waiting for a car.
I was going to tell a time traveling joke, but you guys didn't like it.
Dark humor is like food, some just don't get it.
My mom tells me to stop with the suicide jokes, and I replied with, "It's not that deep."
Your hairline is so far gone that it looks like someone dropped a nuclear bomb on it.
I have a pun, but I will nut tell you!
A son tells his father, "I have an imaginary girlfriend."
The father sighs and says, "You know, you could do better."
"Thanks Dad," the son says.
The father shakes his head and goes, "I was talking to your girlfriend."
Everybody was kung flu dying.
It traveled as fast as lightning.
2020 was expert timing.
In fact, it was a little bit frightening.
A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, "Have you heard about the mad cow disease that's going around?"
"Yeah," the other cow says. "Makes me glad I'm a penguin."
Yo mama is so fat that when she fell, I didn't laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.
What do you call a woodpecker without a beak?
A headbanger.
Yo mama so ugly, when she went to unlock her phone with her face, it said, "disconnected."
Why make a joke when I wake up and look at myself?