Humor

Why did Steven Hawking have no friends?

He couldn’t stand anyone...

Why the f was my shooting joke removed? It was funny, and this is obviously a website for morbid humor. WTF, I mean, worstjokesever.com. Come on...

What do you call a blonde in a freezer?

Her parents called her Cindy, so we should probably continue calling her that. She was supposed to graduate tomorrow.

What do you call a sad coffee?

Despesso.

Before the chicken or the egg, there was only Chuck Norris.

Boner.

What is the definition of African-American Vienna sausages?

cocks of African-American men

My friend made this joke (so I’m going steal it). I’m surrounded by fat people, oh wait... it’s just one.

What does a dyslexic zombie eat? Brian's, hahahahaha!

How much pussy does a priest get? None.

What is the difference between a wagon filled with sand and a wagon filled with newborns?

You cannot unload the sand with a pitchfork.

Why are orphans so skinny?

They never eat anything that is family size.

What's the difference between an American school and a shooting range?

My dick doesn't get hard at the shooting range.

How can toilet paper decorate your house?

Shit sticks everywhere.

*sans*: Why was the skeleton depressed? Because Frisk keeps resetting and it resets when he lost his phone.

What is the biggest joke ever? Trump.

I want to write some jokes about unemployed people, but none of them works.

Why was it so hot in a square room? Because all the corners are 90 degrees.

What happens when you cross a rhetorical question with a joke?

Why did the doorbell have a good sense of humor?

Because it got everybody's pokes!