Sausage

Sausage jokes

Bread

    • I was gobsmacked when I encountered the Jacko special at a Bunnings sausage sizzle. A 40-year-old sausage on 7-year-old white bread.

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    • Million

    • In order to get $355 million for his civil fraud case, Donald Trump desperately needed to fundraise. So, in every Republican Party event, he will serve the Patriotic Trump Dog! It consists of an 80-year-old sausage inside a 10-year-old cream bun, topped with Russian dressing.

    Trump does have the best people, doesn't he?

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    • Blowjob

    • Why do physically disabled gay men like performing blowjobs on well-endowed, abled-bodied gay men?

    Because physically disabled gay men prefer eating pepperoni than eating sausage links for dinner 馃嵔

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    • Sausage memes

    Comeback

    • Ex-Boyfriend: You have no ass, so we're through!

    Me: Stop being a dickhead, dude!! It ain't gonna make your little sausage any bigger!

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    • Pizza

    • Why were the people during 9/11 mad? They ordered 2 sausage pizzas, but instead they got 2 plane pizzas.

    Woman

    • Three women walk into a bar and start talking about how loose they are. One fits a sausage, another fits a cucumber, the third one slides down the barstool.

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    • Beer

    • Christopher and Tony were tempted for a beer, but they only had 2 dollars each.

    Christopher got an idea and ran away to the butcher to see if he could get something good. He came back with a sausage. So they went to a pub and ordered 2 beers and 2 whiskeys.

    "Are you crazy?!" said Tony to Christopher. "We don't have any money!"

    "Take it easy now," said Christopher. "I have a plan."

    When they finished drinking everything up, Christopher put the sausage through his own zipper and begged Tony to bend on his knees and take the sausage with his mouth.

    The bartender saw what they did and threw them out without even paying. So Christopher and Tony kept doing the same thing pub after pub after pub.

    After the 10th pub, Tony said: "I can't do this anymore. I am drunk, and my knees are in too much pain to even handle the walk."

    "How do you think I feel?" said Christopher, exhausted. "I dropped the sausage in the 3rd pub!"

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    • Flag

    • Meaning behind the German flag: 馃嚛馃嚜 Black: culture Red: Beer Yellow: Sausage Blue: Winning world wars.

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    • Girl

    • This Chinese girl didn't know what a sausage roll was, so I replied, "It's like a spring roll with sausage in it, but not any dog or cat how you have it."

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    • Michael Jackson

    • In honor of Michael Jackson, Vienna Beef, as well as other establishments, are introducing the Jackson dog. It's a 50 year old sausage between two 7 year old buns, with everything on it.

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    • Doctor

    • You're so short, when you were born, the doctor couldn't tell if you were a boy, a girl, or a Jimmy Dean pork sausage.

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    • Patient

    • A patient visiting his doctor asked him if he had ever laughed at a patient.

    The doctor said, "I have never in 25 years of practice ever laughed at a patient."

    Reassured, the patient drops his trousers and underpants.

    Immediately the doctor burst out into loud raucous laughter when he sees that the patient has a penis the size of a cocktail sausage.

    After about 10 minutes the doctor manages to get himself under control.

    Swiftly apologising he says to the patient, "Sorry about that. How can I help you?"

    The patient says, "Have you got any cream for it? It's swollen."

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    • Guy

    • Guy 1: Why is my cat so angry?

    Guy 2: Because she wants to eat your big sausage.

    Guy 1: Don't you?

    Guy 2: Yeah, it seems delicious.

    Guy 1: Mmm, so... w-wait what are you doing? I didn't think you meant the one in my lunch :< Where are you leaving #_#

    **Meow...**

    Guy 1: Shut up, I will never feed you this sausage. It's not for you :< -_- </3

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