Freezer jokes
I locked Terri Schiavo in the freezer.
Hey, I thought that's where you were supposed to put vegetables!
What do you call a kid who's been kidnapped? Well, her name's Sally, so I guess... Sally. My main concern is getting her out of the freezer.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a good body these days?
I think Jeffrey Dahmer had the right idea, just put it in the freezer.
"Guess what my wife left in the freezer?"
"Her miscarriage."
What do you call a blonde in the freezer?
Her parents named her Cindy, so we should probably continue to call her that. She was supposed to graduate tomorrow.
One late night, my wife caught me standing in front of the freezer.
She asked me, "What are you doing?"
I replied, "I'm making a pink yeti."
She asked, "What does that mean?"
I said, "I left our kid in the freezer for a couple hours."
What do you call a rapper who's always COLD?
MC Freezer.
One day, inexplicably, my talking parrot started insulting me. He called me an idiot, a fool, a jerk, stupid, and a variety of other nasty names. I warned the squawker to cease, but to no avian avail. Fed up, I finally flipped the foul-mouthed feather-brain into the freezer...but after about 15 seconds, I relented and let him out.
"I'm so sorry," he declared! "I don't know what came over me, and realize I shouldn't have said those terrible things. I hope you can forgive me, and I promise never to do it again! By the way...what did the chicken do?" 🐔😂
What's the difference between a gay man and a freezer?
A freezer doesn't scream when you put meat inside it.
Hell hates freezers, England, and soccer.
What's the difference between a baby and a freezer?
The freezer doesn't scream when I put my meat in it.
Me: I have the body of a 28 year old.
Her: Prove it.
Me: (opens freezer)
What is worse to have - a dead baby or a dead Santa Claus?
Santa. You need extra freezers for reindeer.
Why did Jeffrey eat all the ice cream in one sitting?
To make room in the freezer for his special meat.
I like my vegetables like I like my women: forgotten at the bottom of my freezer.
"Hey, man, do you have any Ben and Jerry's?"
"Yeah, I have two of them, fresh and preserved in the freezer."
"I meant the ice cream, bro..."
When you hear your mom’s car pull in the driveway and you remember that she told you to take the chicken out of the freezer 7 hours ago.
What is the similarity between women and freezers?
We like to put our meat in them.
Question; Why do they call Melania Trump the "Walk-In" Freezer?
Answer; It's because that is where EVERYONE goes to "Hang Their Meat"!
It’s really hard to maintain a good body lately, unless you put it in a freezer.