Humor

What do you call a spice with a PHD?

Dr. Pepper

What do you call a person who's got their wisdom tooth removed too late?

Dumb.

A poster for the winter relief fund reads: "No one should be allowed to go hungry or suffer from the cold." A worker says to his friend, "Now were not even allowed to do that."

Visiting Alabama? Pop-up dating ads be like: "Never be lonely at cousinsonly.com."

Friend: "UR LIT BRO!!"

Me: "That's what my sleeve said to my arm."

A split image showing two different Woody faces from Toy Story. On the left is Woody with a sinister smile and the right is Woody engulfed in flames. Above the images is a Google search bar with the term "nuke" and the "Shopping" tab highlighted.

When someone says you're adopted, say, "But you're still at the orphanage."

Help, my ADHD is so bad that not even I can focus in a concentration camp.

What do Colorado and Saudi Arabia have in common?

It's legal to get stoned.

Mother, “Johnny, if you keep being this naughty, you’ll get kids who will be very naughty to you!”

Johnny, “Oh mom, you just betrayed yourself there, didn’t you?”

I'm telling my kids that in 2020 I survived world war 3, the zombie apocalypse, the invasion of the murder hornets, and the second American revolution.

I ran into a dwarf and he said: "Well, I’m not Happy."

Then which one are you?

I'd make a joke about an obese person, but it won't work out.

Two skeleton brothers are talking.

1st bro: "Hey, get up! You and do some exercise! You are so heavy, you weigh a ton!"

2nd bro: "A skele-TON :)"

What's an African's favorite sport to play, but they can't? Water polo.

What can you say both at a funeral and during sex?

This would be much better if you were alive.

A man goes to the library to find the best book about committing suicide. So when he asks the librarian, "What's the best book on committing suicide?" The librarian said, "Oh, fuck off...you won't bring it back anyway."

Wow, didn't know little Jhony jokes were so dark. Well, but what do you expect from a site with jokes about suicide, sex, and drugs? :-)

"Drugs?????" His eyes popped out. Well, I don't really know if there actually are-- and the exact ones... But there's so many kinds of jokes-- even chin jokes. :^))

And slice jokes!

What kind of "slices"?

Handy ones. ^_^