Humor

What do you call it when a man is scared in Panera Bread?

Panera dread.

Your hairline's so far back that Dora the Explorer couldn't find it.

I still remember the last thing my grandfather said before kicking the bucket: "Hey, wanna see how far I can kick this bucket?"

What does Michael Jackson have in common with Kmart?

They're both dead...

What is a cannibal's favorite place to eat?

Five Guys.

I would tell you an orphan joke, ehh I’ll just tell your parents instead.

Welcome to the roadkill cafe, where yesterday's crash is today's cash.

I saw a Cuban prisoner. I asked, "Why are you running from the cops?" He said, "I'M FREE AT LAST!"

what did the suicidal kid say to the tree?

don't leave me hanging.

What happens when Rick Astley is getting an erection whilst singing "Never Gonna Give You Up"?

You get PRICKrolled.

What did the short Chinese man say when he was called a dwarf? "Da fok yu sai tu meee."

"Have you taken a bath?"

"No. Why, did one go missing?"

What do you call a kid in a wheelchair coming out of a building on fire? Hot wheels.

What do you call a person who's got their wisdom tooth removed too late?

Dumb.

The best joke in the world is me.

Don't say that you're not a joke. Jokes have meanings.

What do you find up a ghost's nose? A BOOger.

I was laughing my ass off when the 12-year-old child realized the door to my basement was unlocked, and he didn't need to cannibalize his two friends in a desperate attempt for survival. 🤣🤣🤣

How do you stop a woman from choking?

Back up an inch.

When someone says you're adopted, say, "But you're still at the orphanage."

My dick was in the book of world records.

But then the librarian asked me to take it out.