Humor
What does Michael Jackson have in common with Kmart?
They're both dead...
I would tell you an orphan joke, ehh I’ll just tell your parents instead.
Welcome to the roadkill cafe, where yesterday's crash is today's cash.
What is a cannibal's favorite place to eat?
Five Guys.
My mum once told me, "How do you spell Mississippi?" and I said, "Misisipi." But she said, "No, it goes mi-ss-i-ss-pp-i," and I laughed when she said "pp." Then she said, "Why are you laughing?" I tried saying, "You said pp," but I was laughing too hard.
Memes
"Have you taken a bath?"
"No. Why, did one go missing?"
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair coming out of a building on fire? Hot wheels.
Once I tried to tell my friend a joke about dead people... but it went six feet underground...
What do you call a person who's got their wisdom tooth removed too late?
Dumb.
What do you find up a ghost's nose? A BOOger.
The best joke in the world is me.
Don't say that you're not a joke. Jokes have meanings.
Student: "May I use the restroom, professor?"
Professor: "Oui oui."
Student: "No, professor, doo doo!"
Q: Why couldn’t Poe Dameron find his sandwich?
A: Because BB-8 it.
Ya it's bad:)
Why was the T-rex so angry? You would be angry too if your arms were too short to masturbate.
What do you call a spice with a PHD?
Dr. Pepper
What do you call a lesbian with braces? A box cutter.
Son: “Dad, did you get the results of the DNA test back?”
Dad: “Call me George.”
I hate prom in Alabama. They always say, "Uhh, actually this is our family reunion." We are in Alabama, so they are the same thing.
What do you call an Asian Chihuahua?
A Konichiuahua.
My dick was in the book of world records.
But then the librarian asked me to take it out.