Humor

I once fought with a man in a wheelchair.

He couldn't stand a chance.

Welcome to the roadkill cafe, where yesterday's crash is today's cash.

I hate jokes about 9/11... every joke has the tendency to crash and burn.

"I didn't get the joke at first, but then it hit me like a plane," the joke was so dark a cop almost shot it.

What did the short Chinese man say when he was called a dwarf? "Da fok yu sai tu meee."

Guys, we should not make fun of 9/11. Like, that stuff is just plain out crazy. Like, you all should not let that fly.

I tried to come up with a funny pun about squirrels, but all my ideas were nuts.

Q. What's an orphan's favorite South Park episode?

A. The anti-Family Guy episode.

I saw a Cuban prisoner. I asked, "Why are you running from the cops?" He said, "I'M FREE AT LAST!"

what did the suicidal kid say to the tree?

don't leave me hanging.

What happens when Rick Astley is getting an erection whilst singing "Never Gonna Give You Up"?

You get PRICKrolled.

What do you call a lesbian with braces? A box cutter.

What do you call a kid in a wheelchair coming out of a building on fire? Hot wheels.

Once I tried to tell my friend a joke about dead people... but it went six feet underground...

Student: "May I use the restroom, professor?"

Professor: "Oui oui."

Student: "No, professor, doo doo!"

What do you call a person who's got their wisdom tooth removed too late?

Dumb.

Visiting Alabama? Pop-up dating ads be like: "Never be lonely at cousinsonly.com."

The best joke in the world is me.

Don't say that you're not a joke. Jokes have meanings.

What do you find up a ghost's nose? A BOOger.

What do you call a spice with a PHD?

Dr. Pepper

I was laughing my ass off when the 12-year-old child realized the door to my basement was unlocked, and he didn't need to cannibalize his two friends in a desperate attempt for survival. 🤣🤣🤣