Humor

What do you call an Asian Chihuahua?

A Konichiuahua.

My dick was in the book of world records.

But then the librarian asked me to take it out.

My dad’s nickname for me is ‘Tiger’.

Now, my wrists look like a tiger.

I hate prom in Alabama. They always say, "Uhh, actually this is our family reunion." We are in Alabama, so they are the same thing.

Help, my ADHD is so bad that not even I can focus in a concentration camp.

Son: “Dad, did you get the results of the DNA test back?”

Dad: “Call me George.”

I told a crippled guy he is immortal because he can't kick the bucket.

What’s the difference between dark jokes and cotton?

Some people don’t pick it.

In honor of Diddy:

The ice cream machine at McDonald's now works!

I would tell you an orphan joke, ehh I’ll just tell your parents instead.

What does Michael Jackson have in common with Kmart?

They're both dead...

What do you call it when a man is scared in Panera Bread?

Panera dread.

Your hairline's so far back that Dora the Explorer couldn't find it.

I still remember the last thing my grandfather said before kicking the bucket: "Hey, wanna see how far I can kick this bucket?"

I hate jokes about 9/11... every joke has the tendency to crash and burn.

"I didn't get the joke at first, but then it hit me like a plane," the joke was so dark a cop almost shot it.

I was going to tell my dad a joke, but he still hasn't come back with the milk yet.

I saw a Cuban prisoner. I asked, "Why are you running from the cops?" He said, "I'M FREE AT LAST!"

what did the suicidal kid say to the tree?

don't leave me hanging.

What happens when Rick Astley is getting an erection whilst singing "Never Gonna Give You Up"?

You get PRICKrolled.

What do you call a spice with a PHD?

Dr. Pepper