Once I tried to tell my friend a joke about dead people... but it went six feet underground...
Humor
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair coming out of a building on fire? Hot wheels.
Student: "May I use the restroom, professor?"
Professor: "Oui oui."
Student: "No, professor, doo doo!"
The best joke in the world is me.
Don't say that you're not a joke. Jokes have meanings.
What do you find up a ghost's nose? A BOOger.
I parked in a disabled space today...
...and a traffic warden shouted to me, “Oi, what's your disability?” I said “Tourettes! Now fuck off!”
I asked my mom what is dark humor. She said "see them boy over there in the wheelchair, ask him to walk." I said, "but I’m blind." She responded, "Exactly."
What’s the difference between dark jokes and cotton?
Some people don’t pick it.
I was laughing my ass off when the 12-year-old child realized the door to my basement was unlocked, and he didn't need to cannibalize his two friends in a desperate attempt for survival. 🤣🤣🤣
I told my new girlfriend that my mother is deaf.
So she would have to speak loudly and slowly.
I told my mother that my new girlfriend is disabled. Now we wait.
In honor of Diddy:
The ice cream machine at McDonald's now works!
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
"How do you breathe through something so small?"
Mickey Mouse is speaking with a divorce attorney...
...and the attorney says, "I'm sorry Mickey, I've gone over all of Minnie's medical history and I find no evidence of mental illness."
To which Mickey replies, "I didn't say she's crazy! I said she's fucking Goofy!"
My dick was in the book of world records.
But then the librarian asked me to take it out.
I hate prom in Alabama. They always say, "Uhh, actually this is our family reunion." We are in Alabama, so they are the same thing.
My dad’s nickname for me is ‘Tiger’.
Now, my wrists look like a tiger.
Q: What is a lesbian's version of a cock block?
A: A beaver dam.
What do you call an Asian Chihuahua?
A Konichiuahua.
Q: Why couldn’t Poe Dameron find his sandwich?
A: Because BB-8 it.
Ya it's bad:)
Why was the T-rex so angry? You would be angry too if your arms were too short to masturbate.
