What is the difference between an orphan and a apple? Apples get picked...
Someone
When my family goes to weddings, my senior relatives tell me things like “You’re next!”, so I started doing the same to them at funerals.
The cemetery is so crowded, people are just dying to get in.
Your losing all your friends but never any calories.
You know how in the movie nightmare before christmas they say making Christmas
I thought mary a josphe did but ok
What do you find up a ghosts nose- a BOOger
That dam looks dam cool
A funny joke scenario Person 1: Why didn't he skeleton go to the dance?
Person 2: Because he had no "body" to go with.
Person 1: Because he was ugly fat and nobody liked him
Why would you never donate to crabs?
Because their shellfish
Who's the best at musical chairs?
Stephen Hawking
Friend: Why did you touch me? Me: That guy in the corner with no hair , glasses, really nice, white button up shirt, that drives a white van slow by school zones told me to and he would give me hard candy.
Whats the nest thing about 23 year olds? There is twenty of them.
The only hood i like is pointy and white. Thats why i cant trust people when i dont see thier face at night.
Women are like rolls of toilet paper they are either really cheap or expensive, you use them a lot and they deal with a lot of s##t.
Kid: Are you gay? Me: No im straighter than the pole your mom dances on.
I drew a picture of a whale in the ocean. My brother asked what you drawing? I saod you taking a shower.
Why did the pedo cross the road? To get to the pre-school on the other side.
What’s the only time you can do almost whatever you want
When you have a gun in you hand