Humor
How did I get to Iraq? I ran.
Why do skeletons hate wind? Because it goes right through them!
Why couldn’t 3 ask 4 on a date?
Because he was 2 squared.
Did you know that a lot of graves are put in churchyards?
Yeah, they're pretty holey.
Why did piglet go to the bathroom?
To search for Poo.
Today I got a lecture from my mother, and congratulated her. Why?
Because she managed not to damage me in a physical fashion.
I’ll make a joke about homeless people, but they just don’t work.
What do you call an LGBTQ person getting grilled? LGBBQ.
What do you call a rich Chinese person? Cha-ching!
Ask Siri what rich North Koreans are there.
Siri: "I could not find anything for this question."
What joke could orphan's never understand?
Your Mom jokes.
When you can’t see your adopted joke pop up, it’s the same as asking your adopted friend where their parents are and never finding it.
"Doctor, I'm shrinking!"
"Well, you'll just have to be a little patient."
What did the toilet say to the other toilet? "You look a bit flushed."
I wish that people would stop mailing jokes about Kobe Bryant. Guys, all they do is crash and burn!
If an orphan takes a selfie, isn't it basically a family portrait?
Just hire some people to be fake parents and print off an adoption paper. On April Fools', just leave them there at the orphanage! APRIL FOOLS!
Your friend walks up to you and shows you a picture of an overweight woman.
What would you rate this woman?
A 7.
Why?
Because 7 ate 9!
What do you call a person who doesn't masturbate?
A liar.
Two men ran into a bar. You would have thought after the first one hit it, the second one would have seen it.
Why did all the numbers mourn 10? Because he was in the middle of 9, 11.