Humor

My girlfriend asked me to tell a joke. I told her to look in the mirror.

We never met again.

I tried to tell an Armenian genocide joke in Istanbul.

Nobody got it.

What do you call a midget stripper?

A pocket pussy.

When you're depressed about the world :( but you remember you will soon die :)

What's the difference between Vikkstar and a tree?

Nothing. They're both hollow on the inside and brown on the outside.

I had a great day today because Allison was frustrated at her calculator and started banging it on the side of the table, and the teacher screamed, "Allison, how would you like it if I banged you on the table?"

What do you call a group of black men hanging from a tree?

Alabama wind chimes.

Orphans are human too! They have parents like all of us, so I don't know why they're saying it's fun to make fun of an orphan. Have you ever been too cold and wondered if your parents are going to have another child and not you? That's not funny! It is %9000,000 NO!!!!!!!!!!

I was going to tell you a cow joke...

But it's pasture bed time.

This ain't a joke, but the Twin Towers said their favorite number is 911.

Welcome to Joe's abortion clinic! No fetus can beat us! You make 'em, we take 'em!

What did the flower say to the crazy peanut?

"Ur going nuts boii, get back on yo' plant. Ur too nuts for me."

What do you call a kid in a wheelchair coming out of a building on fire? Hot wheels.

Yo mama is so fat that when she put on a yellow dress, people called her "taxi."

If you are a banana, why don't you eat a banana?

Oh right, you'd be a cannibal. I mean a banan-i-ball.

Someone telling a joke:

Boy: "My parents are dead."

Girl: "My grandad is too."

Orphan who listened to it: "That joke is dead!"

Person who told the joke: "So is your family!"

Stephen Hawking walked in a bar...

Just kidding.

What has 148 teeth and🥴🥴 holding back a monster? My zipper.

Depressed people have beautiful smiles. Okay, it's not a joke for normal people, but it's a joke for us.

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

UR MUM!