Humor

When someone says you're adopted, say, "But you're still at the orphanage."

What did the elephant say to the naked man?

"How do you breathe through something so small?"

In honor of Diddy:

The ice cream machine at McDonald's now works!

What do Colorado and Saudi Arabia have in common?

It's legal to get stoned.

Mother, “Johnny, if you keep being this naughty, you’ll get kids who will be very naughty to you!”

Johnny, “Oh mom, you just betrayed yourself there, didn’t you?”

I'm telling my kids that in 2020 I survived world war 3, the zombie apocalypse, the invasion of the murder hornets, and the second American revolution.

I ran into a dwarf and he said: "Well, I’m not Happy."

Then which one are you?

Two skeleton brothers are talking.

1st bro: "Hey, get up! You and do some exercise! You are so heavy, you weigh a ton!"

2nd bro: "A skele-TON :)"

I'd make a joke about an obese person, but it won't work out.

Life is like a penis. Long, free, flowing, and soft, until a woman comes and makes it hard. 😉

What's an African's favorite sport to play, but they can't? Water polo.

A man goes to the library to find the best book about committing suicide. So when he asks the librarian, "What's the best book on committing suicide?" The librarian said, "Oh, fuck off...you won't bring it back anyway."

What can you say both at a funeral and during sex?

This would be much better if you were alive.

Wow, didn't know little Jhony jokes were so dark. Well, but what do you expect from a site with jokes about suicide, sex, and drugs? :-)

"Drugs?????" His eyes popped out. Well, I don't really know if there actually are-- and the exact ones... But there's so many kinds of jokes-- even chin jokes. :^))

And slice jokes!

What kind of "slices"?

Handy ones. ^_^

What time do butts get up? At the crack of dawn!!!

Died and came back a cowboy, I call that reintarnation.

How many fingers am I holding up?

Said the suicide bomber, referring to the countdown.

How do we know that the ocean is friendly? It waves.

My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic. But if I'm going to have sex, it's going to be on my own Accord.

What's the difference between a refrigerator and a gay guy? You have to ask permission before stuffing it with meat.