Alabama

Alabama Jokes

Blow job

I seriously don't get why people in Alabama are angered that Mexican immigrants are taking their jobs. I mean, it's not like they are preventing your son from giving you a big, fat blow job.

People

Why do people from Alabama abhor eating tacos and burritos?

Because their meat has to be in bread.

Incest

Did you hear about the bisexual from Alabama? He can't decide whether to fuck his brother or his sister.

Smash

When you ask your sister if she wanna smash, but then she grabs the Switch.

Incest

I was in Alabama last year. I walked into a store and noticed a couple kissing each other, and I said, "Excuse me, where is the bathroom?" The man said, "Right over there." I went into the bathroom and then heard the girl say, "Dad, I have to go to school soon."

Abortion

Florida: Homemade Taco Stand.

California: Homemade Lemonade Stand.

Alabama: Homemade Abortion Stand.

Republican

"Dude, can you believe Republicans are opposed to homosexuality, women's rights, and immigration, yet they are silent when it comes to incest and child molestation?"

"Well, I'm not surprised. Republicans have to win the Alabama vote, or else."

People

Why do people in Alabama always swipe left on Tinder?

Because they aren't family!

State

Most states:

"It's ok, it won't be awkward. We're still friends."

Alabama:

"She didn't wanna be my girlfriend anymore. But she said she'll still be my sister."

Murder

Why can't you solve a murder in Alabama?

All the DNA is identical and there are no dental records.

Incest

Best friend: Dude, your sister is hot, I'd hit that.

Me: Already did. SWEET HOME ALABAMA

Family

Why is reverse cowgirl banned in Alabama? Because you should never turn your back on family.

Graduate

What did the Alabama graduate say to the Tennessee graduate?

"Welcome to McDonald's, may I take your order please?"

Inspiration

Why was Helen Keller truly an inspiration?

She learned how to read and write despite being from Alabama!