What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
I seriously don't get why people in Alabama are angered that Mexican immigrants are taking their jobs. I mean, it's not like they are preventing your son from giving you a big, fat blow job.
Why do people from Alabama abhor eating tacos and burritos?
Because their meat has to be in bread.
Ancestry.com is spelled with an “I” in Alabama.
The sexual shout "Yes Daddy" probably originated in Alabama.
Did you hear about the bisexual from Alabama? He can't decide whether to fuck his brother or his sister.
What has 50 legs but can't walk?
25 disabled children.
When you ask your sister if she wanna smash, but then she grabs the Switch.
I was in Alabama last year. I walked into a store and noticed a couple kissing each other, and I said, "Excuse me, where is the bathroom?" The man said, "Right over there." I went into the bathroom and then heard the girl say, "Dad, I have to go to school soon."
Florida: Homemade Taco Stand.
California: Homemade Lemonade Stand.
Alabama: Homemade Abortion Stand.
Most states:
"It's ok, it won't be awkward. We're still friends."
Alabama:
"She didn't wanna be my girlfriend anymore. But she said she'll still be my sister."
Why can't you solve a murder in Alabama?
All the DNA is identical and there are no dental records.
Best friend: Dude, your sister is hot, I'd hit that.
Me: Already did. SWEET HOME ALABAMA
Why is reverse cowgirl banned in Alabama? Because you should never turn your back on family.
What is Alabama’s family tree? A circle.
Alabama gene pools are so shallow, when they freeze over, it's just snow.
What did the Alabama graduate say to the Tennessee graduate? "Welcome to McDonald's, may I take your order please?"
Why was Helen Keller truly an inspiration?
She learned how to read and write despite being from Alabama!
I asked my new girlfriend how many men she’d had before me.
She said not to worry, she could count them all on one hand.
Unfortunately, this was when I noticed she’s holding her cell phone with a calculator app open. I took note of her wallet inside a picture of what appeared to be 10 guys. I asked and she said that’s my fam as well. I noticed an Alabama driver's license. I asked which one was her dad. She said that she doesn’t talk to him anymore because he had sex with the boss’s daughter. I casually asked what he did for work. Self-employed? She said that’s the last time I use ancestry.com!
So, I hooked up with a girl at a party, but I forgot that it was a family reunion.
(SWEET HOME ALABAMA STARTS PLAYING)
